Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, youāve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. Youāve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the dayās most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
I asked Siri to play Nickelback and she called me a fag. š
Dude, those people in the Middle East are really going crazy for the new iPhone. It’s like, chill out and order it online.
Time to go on Facebook and play “let’s see who’s embarrassing themselves today!”
I was gonna get my dog a tribal tattoo, but then I realized he doesn’t even know how to date rape girls.
Pretty sure Amanda Bynes is Lindsay Lohan’s horcrux.
Mitt Romney is the only politician right now who would actually benefit from the release of a sex tape.
Say what you want about Lindsay Lohan, but the lengths that chick will go to in order to prove a point is pretty damn impressive.
Hate weight limit signs in the elevator. Then Iām put in the awkward position of telling some pregnant woman she has to take the stairs.
Jesus’s wife was the one who told him to stop wearing socks with his sandals.
Clint Eastwood should totally sit down and have a chat with hologram Tupac
I demand that the 3rd World get Internet access so they can see all the foods my hipster friends are eating.
Really disappointed that this iOS 6 update didn’t increase the screen size on my iPhone 4S to 4 inches.