Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
The Australian billionaire who is building a replica of Titanic must be stopped if it will mean more Celine Dion.
It’s almost the perfect weather for us to feel uncomfortable about our bodies!
Instead of being grounded, Jay Z and Beyonce can discipline their new child by sending him to a Brooklyn Nets game.
Kim Kardashian wants to star in a sitcom. I guess her whole existence wasn’t enough of a joke for her.
Weird that Paula Deen’s birth certificate was filled out with decorative frosting and is a cookie cake.
Anytime Scott Bakula shows up on Yahoo’s “trending now”list I always take a deep breath. Please don’t be dead, Bakula, please don’t be dead.
The job of “milkman” is lost to the ages, and with it, the concept of drinking something a stranger left on your porch the night before.
When I delete an app on my iPhone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they’re all panicked over who’s getting deleted.
BREAKING: Universal has changed BATTLESHIP’s title to AVENGERS AT SEA; similarly, Fox has changed PROMETHEUS to AVENGERS IN SPACE. #AVENGERS
I’m so hungry right now, I’d let Alicia Silverstone spit food into my mouth.
My sleep number is unlisted.
On the anniversary of Osama bin Laden’s death, it’s important for us to remember just how deadly bullets to the face can be.