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Passover, Tim Tebow, and Targeted Ads

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Aww man. Is this really happening?(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

My shrink says I would hallucinate less if I didn’t do angel dust. Typical dragon.(image) 57 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

#Titanic3D is even sadder this time around, because now we know the heir to #DowntonAbbey is on the boat.(image) 21 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Passover is the most widely recognized Jewish holiday, if you don’t count the year-end sale at Neiman Marcus. Happy Pesach!(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

What filter do you guys use on instagram to make your father love you?(image) 24 minutes ago via Favstar.FM ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Those anti-Asian slurs could seriously damage Marion Barry’s reputation.(image) 36 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I’m glad Kim Kardashian finally found someone she can spend the rest of her week with.(image) 36 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I like Good Friday way better than Bad Tuesday. And AIDs Wednesday.(image) 45 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I bet Tyler Perry forgets he’s black sometimes.(image) 20 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Google glasses: when you’re too big a douchebag to wear just a Bluetooth.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I reach for the iPhone in my pocket the same way I used to reach for a pack of cigarettes.(image) 40 minutes ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Tim Tebow will preach to 30K people on Easter. Tebow won’t replace the regular preacher, he’s only handling the wildcat part of the service.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

You know your life is going well when all the targeted ads on websites you browse are for suicide prevention hotlines.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto