Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
March 20: Happy Autumnal Equinox to the 20% of Earth’s human population (& 100% of free Penguins) living south of the equator
BREAKING: Nancy Grace Blames Amelia Earhart’s Disappearance on Husband
Satan Manning signs with Denver. Or at least that’s what Tim Tebow told me in prayer circle this morning.
I keep waiting for Michael Bay to photoshop Shia Labeouf into all my baby photos & officially ruin every childhood memory I have.
I’d trust Muhammad Ali on a tightrope holding an infant over an active volcano before I’d trust Michael Bay with the Ninja Turtles.
Am I the only one that was blindsided by Hines Ward’s retirement announcement? #TooSoon?
I remember when I used to get on the computer just to use Paint. #PopularInThe90s
Adriana Lima is ‘pregnant’. Pretty sure Jessica Simpson is acting as her surrogate though.
Just watched a Newt Gingrich speech and it reminded me I have to buy butter.
#GoToPrisonBecause you are a woman beater! RT @chrisbrown: #DontGiveUpBecause you are special!
The astronauts were complaining about space being cold so I have bought them all iPad 3s
I’m not afraid of dying alone, I’m afraid of living a very, very long life alone.
You can’t fool me, Wikipedia. Everyone knows that calories are units of deliciousness.