Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we find Twitter discussing Marty McFly’s Nikes, a famous 90’s TV babe and what Twitter should really be called. Plus we find out Herman Melville’s real motivation for authorship. Enjoy!
@pattonoswalt
Patton Oswalt“I’m gonna be in every crossword puzzle EVER!” — Herman Melville, upon completing his novel OMOO
3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@pauldanke
Paul DankeDid we ever get the story behind Pace Picante Sauce’s anti New York City propaganda? 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@JordyHamrick
JordanWhen women cry, their faces look like half-chewed Starbursts. 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto
@MrFornicator
Jamie CapriaThe reason they named it Twitter is because they didn’t think Timesuck would appeal to the masses. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DRUNKHULK
DRUNK HULKWILL YOU RECOGNISE DRUNK HULK! CALL DRUNK HULK NAME! OR WALK ON BY! RAIN KEEP FALL! KEEP FALL! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@thesulk
Alec SulkinWrote a paper on big 90s boobs, but I was never totally satisfied with my Tiffany Amber Thesis. 14 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@birbigs
Mike BirbigliaThis Kardashians show is so well written. 5 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@funnyordie
Funny Or DieObama could guarantee re-election by buying a pair of the Marty McFly shoes and wearing them during every public address. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonDear whores turned soccer moms,
I’m not praying for your kid who has the sniffles and wet farts, so stop making that your Facebook status. 4 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@DanaJGould
Dana GouldStorage Wars – Deleted Scenes: “That appears to be a bucket of hands.” 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@fakecarolbartz
Carol BartzTim Morse smells. 21 hours ago via Mobile Web · powered by @socialditto