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Jurassic Park 4 Rumors Poised To Set The Internet Ablaze

If there is one thing you can unite the internet community around, it’s bacon. Bacon and, to a lesser degree, Jurassic Park 4 rumors.

That’s why the news just put out by the Hollywood Reporter is going to ignite the speculation fuse, once again, about the possibilities of a reboot of the much beloved film.

According to THR, Steven Spielberg has been holding meetings with screenwriter Mark Protosevich and “kicking around ideas for how to reboot the Jurassic Park franchise.” So yeah, that’s happening (wheeeeee). Spielberg’s camp as well as Universal Picutres stressed that they aren’t banging out a script, as these are only super preliminary talks.

Protosevich has written the 2006 action remake Poseidon, the adaptation of the Will Smith vehicle I Am Legend as well as the criminally underrated visual masterpiece The Cell. So that sounds promising-ish.

Jurassic Park is a great film. Two and three, meh. But for anyone my age (or, like me, dinosaur obsessed at a young age) the original holds tons of sentimental value. For me, it was one of the first movies I ever truly loved. Many people feel the same way I do about it, thus the huge internet buzz whenever “4” is mentioned.

The last big JP4 buzz happened back in 2007 when Laura Dern said that it was definitely happening. She told MTV

“It is happening. Rumor has it [my character] Ellie Sattler may be back in the woods, back on the island,” Dern announced, saying the movie will hit theaters in 2008. She added with a coy smile, “You know, there is a guy I know who told me he wants me to have something to do with it. [So] I have a date with a dinosaur again. My 5-year-old will be thrilled.”

Then the reports emerged that the dinosaurs in the film were to be outfitted with government-grade weapons for battle purposes. And the internet collectively shit a brick. But that version of the film never made it to theaters and fans were left wondering if they would ever see Dr. Grant or Ian Malcolm on screen again.

But now it looks like things are moving in the right direction at least. Or wrong direction according to this writer at The Guardian

First, let’s get the obvious out of the way. Jurassic Park IV will be terrible. All the signs are there. Michael Crichton is dead. Stan Winston is dead. The last time Steven Spielberg waited this long to revive one of his franchises, he ended up blowing Harrison Ford across the sky in a fridge. The portents are not good. In an ideal world Jurassic Park would be extinct, once and for all.

He suggests that we crowdsource the plot of the upcoming film to save it from whatever awfulness is bound to ensue. Interesting idea – let’s keep that in mind.

Twitter, as usual, is weighing in on the news –

Spielberg is considering making Jurassic Park 4, due to advances in CGI technology which will assure that the dinosaurs no longer look real. 53 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

My plot suggestion for Jurassic Park 4 – Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the earth. 46 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JURASSIC PARK 4????????????????????? 2 hours ago via UberSocial · powered by @socialditto

Jurassic Park 4 rumors?!?! Don’t tease me like that… Got to get into prime Goldblum chasing shape! http://t.co/764hD75 55 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

steven spielberg thinking about making jurassic park 4!? best. news. ever. 26 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Steven Spielberg is considering making a Jurassic Park 4. Rumor has it, Chris Bosh has already been asked to play the Brachiosaurus. 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

Oh, and I discovered this. Did you know that Jurassic Park 4 has a rotten tomatoes page? It’s 93% fresh based on 444 user ratings. It says the film is from 2008 and stars Sam Neill and Keira Knightley. Holy hell, did I miss something?

Is the nostalgia in me clouding my judgment? Maybe so. Maybe I just want some of the old magic recaptured so bad that I’m getting excited about something that is doomed to disappoint. But let’s just hope it gets made and hope that it turns out to be awesome. I don’t think there is any chance in JP4 ruining the first one for me after sitting through JP2 and JP3. All I have to say is it better have Goldblum in it.