Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Travolta’s lawyer should use the “It was Nic Cage in a John Travolta mask” defense.
If you stretched your intestines to the moon and back, you’d be dead.
All of those who oppose gay marriage are totally not seeing the potential of Gay Divorce Court on daytime TV.
I would watch more WNBA if the W stood for “Wolf”.
“Remember to buy your mom a bottle of wine on Mother’s Day, because you are the reason she drinks.” #MothersDay #wine
Straight marriage, gay marriage, whatever. Just stop showing me pictures of your kids and we’re cool.
I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer.
Let’s all get together next Daylight Saving Time and remind North Carolina to set their clocks forward 100 years.
Today President Obama checked in on Foursquare from a spot located on the right side of history.
Mark Zuckerberg’s nickname should be “I don’t give a Fuckerberg.”
My girlfriend re-tweets my ex-girlfriend. #firstworldproblems
Boy, TSA workers don’t like it when you moan while they pat you down.
The first person to cut their hair must have been TERRIFIED.