Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
I want those Google Glasses so badly, but I also want to date women. Choices.
Joe Flacco says “I think I’m the best QB in the NFL.” Unibrow nation is feeling BOLD under Anthony Davis’ leadership.
Since Droid users get to be on Instagram now iPhone users should get to have food stamps.
Whether you’re a fan of “Dancing with the Stars” or “The Voice,” it’s clear this has been a very tough week, so, thank GOD you hoard cats.
American Voices: Flying Car A Reality | “I don?t see the point of these unless there?s a floating Taco Bell.” http://t.co/oHNKm6cL
Obama has called the GOP budget social Darwinism. Nice try, but they believe in social creationism.
“I wish I could answer phone calls with my Walkman” -Steve Jobs in the 80’s.
Santorum is like MySpace: he technically still exists but no one cares.
Keith Olbermann has a huge head.
Easter is the time when everyone on Dancing With The Stars celebrates being resurrected from the dead.
It breaks my heart to think about those glasses of wine that white women forgot to photograph and upload to a social media website.
Watching MTVs Skrillex Unplugged. He’s just eating a ham sandwich onstage.
Yahoo! announced that it’s firing 2000 employees. At least their resumes will look happy and excited.
It’s hard to accurately observe Daylight Saving Hammertime when you can’t touch the clock to set it forward.