Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Since rabbits can?t eat chocolate, the Easter Bunny is sort of like a lactose intolerant pizza delivery guy.
#ThingsBetterThanBieber genital warts.
The Hunger Games is what would happen if Casey Anthony was the host of Double Dare.
Tipoff isn’t until 9:23 pm? Man. This day is going to be longer than Anthony Davis’ unibrow.
Happy 4/2 everybody! Missed last night’s Country Music Awards, because it’s a tradition of mine to miss the Country Music Awards every year.
I hope Ashton Kutcher accurately portrays Steve Jobs’ brief obsession with trucker hats.
10 arms……10 legs……..50 fingers………..9 eyebrows….the Kentucky starting five. Go wildcats.
Romney is now inevitable, like death or taxes, or in his case, just death.
To find another casting match as perfect as Ashton Kutcher is for Steve Jobs, you really have to go back to DiCaprio as J. Edgar.
Hawaii and Alaska were two great American impulse buys.
Everyone’s who’s upset this “Mad Men” George Romney thing will not be happy when “The Killing” reveals that Ron Paul killed Rosie Larsen
I like watching Game of Thrones and Mad Men with my girlfriend because it makes me seem respectful of women by comparison.
My touchpad clicks on stuff when I try to move my mouse #FirstWorldProblems
Good thing The Eagles didn’t stay at the Hotel South Dakota, otherwise that song would’ve sucked even worse.