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Don’t Send A Bottle Of Seminal Fluid To The Girl You Love

Love can sometimes make us do incredibly stupid things. For one Chinese man, his expression of love made Van Gogh’s little stunt look sane.

The Metro reports that Gou Wen, 22, sent the love of his life a bottle of his own sperm as a token of his adoration. Despite it being the most insane, and kind of disgusting, way to show one’s love, the woman accepted the gift. Unfortunately, she thought it was moisturizer and didn’t even realize what it was until after she had smeared it over half of her face.

Upon discovering what had happened, Zeng Lin, 19, had Wen arrested. He will be forced to pay her $300 for her trouble, and the inevitable therapy that will come from this chance encounter.

Strangely enough, it doesn’t seem that Wen is a psychopath, but rather just a confused man that really doesn’t know how to express his feelings. He’s quoted as saying: “I love her so much but she didn’t know it and I didn’t know how to tell her, so I did that thinking it was the ultimate way to show love.” He even admitted he was wrong, and said that he would “find another way” to win her love.

I don’t think Lin will be accepting any more gifts anytime soon, but maybe they’ll get together down the road. They can then look back and have a big laugh over the time he sent her a bottle of his semen. It’d be a hell of a story to tell the kids.