Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
We support Chris Brown is trending worldwide. Did he beat Twitter up as well?
That’s the sound of every Android user scrolling through years of photos trying to pick the best way to introduce themselves on @Instagram.
So the clerk at JC Penny can adjust your bra & she’s “helpful” & “courteous” but I do it & Im “creepy” & “the quarterback for the Steelers.”
American patriotism down 22% since The Fray performed the Star-Spangled Banner.
Ryan Leaf arrested for second time in four days, indicating he is very serious about landing a roster spot with the Bengals
RT @carsonclark @FletcherTubbs @jimdunaway I hear to break up Kentucky riots and get everyone to go home, police started a football game.
Sarah Palin on “Today” show. Willard Scott wishes her worldview a Happy 150th Birthday!
Al Qaeda just claimed responsibility for The Fray’s performance of The National Anthem last night.
Home Depot. Office Depot. Home Office Depot. MERGE YOU IDIOTS.
We Support Chris Brown’s arms for him when they get tired from punching women in the face.
White wine is just “I’m disappointed in my husband juice”, right?
Tuesday is an entire loaf of bread of just the end pieces.
DATING HARD! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU NEVER BE PERFECT COUPLE LIKE BEN AND JERRY!