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Chris Brown, Dave Mustaine, and The Best In Show

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Kim Kardashian wins best in show for her breed, Standard Blackman Retriever 7 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

A Pekingese named Malachy won Best In Show at Westminster. Malachy celebrated the win by having absolutely no idea what just happened. 6 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Kate Upton is a Chris Berman slap and Matthew Berry emasculation away from being the new matron saint of the sports blogosphere. 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Floyd Mayweather thinks Jeremy Lin is overrated, which is funny because Jeremy Lin has managed to be undefeated without ducking anybody. 1 day ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Jeremy Lin is asian people’s The Wire. 25 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

If Jeremy Lin dunked on LeBron James while wearing a Yankees cap and then celebrated by Tebowing in front of Brett Favre would ESPN explode? 1 hour ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

RIP Chris Brown? Twitter has killed more black people then Hurricane Katrina. 14 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

RIP Chris Brown is trending on twitter. Looks like everyone’s been reading, “The Secret.” #RIPchrisbrown 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

RIP Chris Brown? More people have died on twitter than Alderaan. 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Condoms are like parents… they are there to protect you, but usually it’s more fun when they’re not around. 15 minutes ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“Dave Mustaine Endorses Rick Santorum.” Pro-life, meet Megadeth. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I bet Rick Santorum is psyched to have the endorsement of a guy who got kicked out of Metallica for snorting too much cocaine 3 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Maybe Dave Mustaine doesn’t know that Santorum also refers to a politician? 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

That empty parking spot turned out to be a Mini Cooper #FirstWorldProblems 23 minutes ago via iTweet for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Kinect would be more fun if you didn’t have to get off the couch. 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Honestly, I’ve killed more people playing the Sims than Call of Duty. 2 hours ago via Buffer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

It’s not so much that I had a great Valentines Day, it’s just knowing that so many people had a terrible one. 3 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto