Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Romney: “We’re not like Etch-a-Sketch. We’re more like Hungry Hungry Hippos – we can’t stop opening our mouths.”
I’d be more excited about Angry Birds Space if it started with a scrolling yellow paragraph explaining what was happening.
Came face-to-face with a pack of coyotes in my yard last night but I was able to scare them off with the smell of shit in my pants.
I’d like to see how long Bella Swan would last in The Hunger Games.
Yes, 5 Hour Energy. I do know that 2:30 feeling and drinking juice out of a tiny bottle doesn’t fix it. Vodka does.
Tebow joining the HBO version of the Jets is like an apostle renting a condo in purgatory & hoping to change the neighborhood,
My comforter isn’t rectangular enough so I never know which way it’s supposed to go #FirstWorldProblems
Angry Birds Space is out. The loud crash you’ll hear is not from the game. It’s the sound of world productivity plummeting thru the floor.
Victoria’s Secret really dropped the ball on not naming their fashion show “The Hunger Games.”
You’re beautiful! 🙂 until your Photoshop 30 day trial expires..
Class action lawsuits are like lottery tickets for people who complain a lot.
they must have named my catheter after the comic strip “cathy” because it was not funny whatsoever.
Just got Angry Birds Space. Between now and Sunday if you need anything ask Jesus.
There are Trump wives who have married for fewer conditions than an Apple agreement.
Yeah, I could get dressed but at some point I’ll just get undressed again so what’s the point.