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Amber Heard and Johnny Depp Have Trouble with a Bitch

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard headed to The Gold Coast in Australia last month on a private jet. They are there because Depp is working on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. The film production company was offered a $20 million tax incentive to shot the fifth installment of the Pirates franchise there.

But now Johnny Depp and Amber Heard may be up a creek. According to Australian authorities, the couple brought their two dogs with them. The mutts are called Pistol and Boo. And the problem is that you can’t bring a pet into Australia without a lengthy process.

Australian Agriculture minister Barnaby Joyce said, “There is a process if you want to bring animals: you get the permits, they go into quarantine and then you can have them.”

According to this chap, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard did not properly clear their dogs. Then came this sexually ambiguous statement:

“If we start letting movie stars even though they’ve been the sexiest man alive twice to come into our nation, then why don’t we just break the laws for everybody?”

Then came this diplomatic statement:

“It’s time that Pistol and Boo buggered off back to the United States.”

According to a Dept. of Agriculture spokesperson in Australia, getting those two dogs in takes a lot of red tape.

“The Department of Agriculture is the Australian Government authority that manages animal imports to protect people’s health as well as animal and plant health. Any animal which is imported without meeting Australia’s import conditions will be ordered into quarantine and will either be exported or euthanized.”

So, the dogs could be deported, or they could be put down. The rep wouldn’t say which.

“The department is unable to comment on an individual’s imports or personal circumstances, regardless of whether that person is a public figure.”

Jetpets is a company that transports pets internationally. A spokesperson for that company commented about Australia’s lengthy ans strident clearance program for pets.

“Australian houses have very few diseases (such as rabies) so our live animal import regulations are very strict. There are many tests and vaccines that must be done on certain dates during the seven months by a government vet. Australia require pets to apply for import permits, secure quarantine space and stay in quarantine for 10 days upon arrival in Australia prior to being released in to the community.”