Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
@reetamac
syreeta mcfaddenSo…Prop. 8 ruling *and* Santorum surge on the same Tuesday? Oh mama universe, you funny.
4 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@thecajunboy
BrettThink of all the witches Rick Santorum would’ve burned had he been alive in the 1600s. 4 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@edbott
Ed BottE-mailed PR pitches I didn’t finish reading: “Happy Hump Day!” 1 hour ago via MetroTwit · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@bazecraze
Alex Baze“There is no gawd.” -teen athiest 1 hour ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@McCainBlogette
Meghan McCainIf Rick Santorum becomes our nominee – it will be the first really significant evidence I’ve seen that the Mayans might be right about 2012. 5 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@clarkekant
Clarke KantI hope someone else’s life flashes before my eyes when I die, because otherwise BOR-RING. 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@God_Damn_Batman
The BatmanAnother Robin died today. Apparently it’s hard to hear Joker sneaking up behind you when your earbuds are blasting Kelly Clarkson. 1 hour ago via Batcomputer · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@FakeAPStylebook
Fake AP StylebookIt is acceptable to refer to all court proceedings as a “trial,” because seriously, you ever sat through one of those things? 2 hours ago via HootSuite · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@hipstermermaid
braden graeberGoogle Maps satellite view is great because you can pretend that you’re flying while you stalk people. 2 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy child prefers Dreamworks to Pixar. #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via iTweet for Android · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@JoeMande
Joe MandeI can’t watch ‘Luck’ or ‘Game of Thrones’ because my dog barks at any horse that appears on screen. #whitepitbullproblems 3 hours ago via TweetDeck · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@TheThryll
Will Phillips“You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” -guy very confused about what cake is 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@robdelaney
rob delaneyIf you see the word “Catholic” in a headline, you know it’s bad news. 3 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto
@Comedyonedge
Mark WilliamsonLouis Vuitton condoms. Now people can enjoy their partners blowing it all on Louis Vuitton. 14 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto