Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Updated @ATT iPhone4S to iOS 5.1 & now it says 4G which is nice cuz I’ve always wanted 2 b unable 2 connect 2 the internet at a higher speed
I was blown away by how realistic the raindrops on the new iPad wallpaper looked until I realized they were actually a Chinese child’s tears
If everyone really wants to #StopKony we should all just make our twitter pics green again. I mean, it fixed everything in Iran 2 years ago
Drop Rush Limbaugh on Kony…#droprushlimbaughonKony
Sending someone a msg on MySpace is like cooking a meal and tossing it out the window
Journalists: if you think the new iPad was disappointing, you should try covering RIM’s product announcements.
Hopefully this solar flare will burn my retna’s before I look at that pregnant Jessica Simpson picture again.
The media is clearly working for the Empire, telling you all it’s a solar flare and not the Death Star testing its laser.
The Cleveland Browns announcing they are not pursuing Peyton Manning is like Snooki announcing she’s not pursuing George Clooney.
It’s International Women’s Day, or as Rush Limbaugh calls it Slursday.
The New iPad announced and a million Smeagols turn into Gollums.
I’m so constipated, the doctor just showed me my poop’s heartbeat and gender.
SXSW is basically just Coachella for people who shower.
I just witnessed a woman sneeze so hard her bra unsnapped. Take that Atheists!
If there’s anything Joseph Kony fears most, it’s Americans changing their profile pictures.
You should never use the word “nutsacky” when describing how a newborn baby feels.