Zombies, Cricket Wireless, and John Edwards

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Zombies, Cricket Wireless, and John Edwards
Written by Josh Wolford

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

The cricket iPhone 4S aint go have siri that hoe go have shaquitia
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

It’s only a Zombie Apocalypse to the living. To zombies, it’s Human Brain Christmas.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

I hope people remember that Mike Tyson was eating human flesh long before zombies became popular. Ahead of his time.
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

John Edwards gets off. #NailedIt
12 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

The tragedy of John Edwards is that he ran for President when he should’ve just joined the Secret Service.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Saving Private Ryan From Bad Food Decisions#BloombergMovieTitles
19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

“Whatever. I’ve eaten human face meat before. Overrated.” — Anthony Bourdain, hearing about the Miami cannibal
1 day ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

The Sugar-Free Grape Sodas of Wrath #BloombergMovieTitles
2 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Kathie Lee Gifford just asked Liam Neeson how his wife was.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

My city was so poor growing up that Planned Parenthood was just a bicycle without a seat.
10 minutes ago via Tweetbot for iOS · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

If you’re under 45 and don’t answer my text within an hour, I’m going to go ahead and assume you either hate me or are dead.
18 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Quitting ‘words with friends’ and going back to heroin.
58 minutes ago via Twitterrific · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

How old do you have to be before you can lick your thumb to help turn pages?
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
 Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

Subscribe for Updates

Newsletter

By signing up for our newsletter you agree to receive content related to ientry.com / webpronews.com and our affiliate partners. For additional information refer to our terms of service.
Get the WebProNews newsletter delivered to your inbox

Get the free daily newsletter read by decision makers

Subscribe
Advertise with Us

Ready to get started?

Get our media kit