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Zerg Rush, John Edwards, and Hot Wings

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Zerg Rush, John Edwards, and Hot Wings
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.(image) 7 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Next person to tell me to Google “Zerg Rush” will receive a deft roundhouse kick to the face. Please stop.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Philip A. Chick #RomneyRestaurantOwners(image) 7 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    WOULD YOU BE EXCITE TO SEE MARATHON RUNNER RIDING ON DONKEY? THEN WHY YOU SO EXCITE TO SEE SPACE SHUTTLE ON TOP OF PLANE?(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    DID YOU KNOW that John Cusack has now starred in two films based on Edgar Allan Poe short stories? “The Raven” and “Hot Tub Time Machine”.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    On a scale of Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many facial expressions do you have?(image) 3 hours ago via Mobile Web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    It’s gotten to a point where Octomom’s children would be better off being raised by an actual octopus.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    There’s nothing worse than having to watch the blooper reel of a show you don’t watch.(image) 16 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I like to wait 35 days to favorite a tweet. That way my friends are always
    convinced they’ve lost their touch! 😀(image) 9 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I would rather someone walk in on me taking a shit than have them see me eat a plate of hot wings.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    “bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy diggy diggy,” quoth the raven, quoth, “up jump the raven”(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    You would probably never win an anecdote battle against an old Puerto Rican guy with a cane.(image) 3 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Any YouTube clip is six Related Video clicks away from watching a deceased conjoined twins memorial video set to Boyz 2 Men’s One Sweet Day.(image) 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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