Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we go a little sports heavy with Tweets about Tony Romo and the Indianapolis Colts. We also see what Sarah Silverman is truly tired of and see why Anthony Weiner’s name is still pretty funny. Enjoy!
@TheFakeCNN
Fake NewsInspirational Quote of the day: When you think things can’t be worse just remember you could be a Colts Fan.
6 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@andylevy
Andy LevyWoke up sweating this morning after a horrible nightmare that Entourage wasn’t really over. #scary 2 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@bengreenman
Ben GreenmanI don’t like when they say that Anthony Weiner’s district, traditionally Democratic, “might change hands.” It’s an unpleasant image. 26 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@pattonoswalt
Patton OswaltI’m the only person in this screening of WARRIOR. #offgothepants 34 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@funnybrad
Brad WilliamsToday is Tony Romo Day! Everyone gets to leave work 15 minutes early! 4 hours ago via Facebook · powered by @socialditto
@Justin_Stangel
Justin StangelWhen wife said “meet @ bagel store” I made mistake of going 2 bagel store instead of reading her mind &going 2 store that didn’t sell bagels 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DannyZuker
Danny ZukerKids, if your dad ever says, “It was nice having the house to myself for a few hours,” it means while you were out he was masturbating. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@SarahKSilverman
Sarah SilvermanI’m pretty much done watching actors & actresses pensively looking out windows 2 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeOur new microwave at work doesn’t rotate the food #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@brandon_burrows
Brandon BurrowsNapoleon Dynamite’s uncle, Rico #quarterbacksbetterthanRomo 12 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@mikeleffingwell
Mike LeffingwellCan’t sleep? Drink some warm milk. After throwing up you’ll sleep like a baby. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@dubouchet
Andrés du BouchetFinally saw ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’. Loved the film, hated how it challenged my knowledge of which words in a title to capitalize 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto