O Fortuna, is the epic medieval poem about the Roman mythological personification of luck, set to music by German composer Carl Orff. If you are unfamiliar with the title, you will recognize it as soon as you hear it. It has been referenced numerous times in pop culture, often to accompany cataclysmic events.

It was written in latin, so unless you look it up, odds are you have no idea what they are saying. Until now. I present to you, the real lyrics to O Fortuna. It’ll make your day:

Gopher Tuna!
Bring more Tuna!
Statue of a big dog with fleas

Ow, paper cut! Sand paper, ahh!
Potato soup and Chicken!
Go taste the dip!
It’s made with cool whip!
Make room for aaaaAAAaaaa piece of Lovely Cake

Honestly, it’s a lot better than the original lyrics, which come off as a little emo.

O Fortune,
variable
as the moon,
always dost thou
wax and wane.
Detestable life,
first dost thou mistreat us,
and then, whimsically,
thou heedest our desires.
As the sun melts the ice,
so dost thou dissolve
both poverty and power.

Thou dost withdraw
my health and virtue;
thou dost threaten
my emotion
and weakness
with torture.
At this hour,
therefore, let us
pluck the strings without
delay.
Let us mourn together,
for fate crushes the brave.

Sounds like somebody ate too many windmill cookies.

[via: Reddit]