Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Congratulations to Hugh Hefner on Crystal Harris running out of money
My favorite part about an outdoor dubstep music festival is when I’m not there and it rains all weekend.
Facebook stock continues to drop despite a large number of status updates declaring “fab brunches” having occured over the weekend.
Octomom’s stripper name is Regret.
Let’s just hope Batman never decides to try bath salts.
One of the rejected Sarah Jessica Parker ads for Obama featured her saying, “When it comes to Romney I vote, ‘neigh’.”
The Transit of Venus is today, but I already have plans. I’ll just catch the next one in 2117.
Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. Also check out her tits. Becky, I think I’m a lesbian.
Dance like no one is watching or just stop dancing in public you weirdo.
Octomom’s plan to get child services to come and get rid of her kids for her is really coming together, you guys.
Not into Father’s Day. I don’t believe in a holiday that glorifies torn condoms.
BIG DEAL GWYNETH PALTROW! DRUNK HULK HAVE NU**ELLA IN PARIS FOR REAL TOO! ON CREPE! WITH BANANA!