Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
After Blake Griffin’s dunk, Kendrick Perkins has been downgraded to Kendrick Waffle House.
#SuperBowl is buying promoted status on Twitter because god knows without that we’d never hear anything about the event.Good thing the
Tomorrow is FL primary, and Thurday is Groundhog’s Day. If Mitt still sees Newt’s shadow, it’s six more weeks of debates.
I just legally moved to Florida, registered to vote, and cast 1000 ballots for Moon Gingrich as Lord Protector of Moontopia.
GOP primary exit polls in Florida at 4pm indicate 82% of seniors there have voted today…and also already have had dinner.
They’re voting in Florida. That always bodes well.
I feel like I’ve stood in this line before. Probably just déjà queue.
When lunch becomes whatever you can reach without getting up, you may want to rethink some life choices.
You can’t spell “ducking” without “autocorrect”
I will vote for any candidate who promises to outlaw cash bar weddings.
I’m like the reverse Michael Jackson. I always wanted to be black. I’m sexually attracted to adults, and I have no talent whatsoever.
Honk your horn at a red light. You can tell which drivers are staring at their phones by who moves without looking up.