The Florida Primary, Vanilla Ice, and Autocorrect

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
The Florida Primary, Vanilla Ice, and Autocorrect
Written by Josh Wolford

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

It wouldn’t be entirely surprising to learn that Thailand is located in Mexico. 19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

If you are having a bad day today, take a step back and think about what Blake Griffin did to Kendrick Perkins. #GuaranteedSmile 2 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

After Blake Griffin’s dunk, Kendrick Perkins has been downgraded to Kendrick Waffle House. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Good thing the #SuperBowl is buying promoted status on Twitter because god knows without that we’d never hear anything about the event. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Which fake presidential candidate has raised more cash, Sarah Palin or Stephen Colbert? http://t.co/MdrM8dLa 43 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I am becoming suspicious that if I had a problem, Vanilla Ice would not really solve it. #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via iTweet for Android · powered by @socialditto

Tomorrow is FL primary, and Thurday is Groundhog’s Day. If Mitt still sees Newt’s shadow, it’s six more weeks of debates. 20 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I just legally moved to Florida, registered to vote, and cast 1000 ballots for Moon Gingrich as Lord Protector of Moontopia. 18 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

GOP primary exit polls in Florida at 4pm indicate 82% of seniors there have voted today…and also already have had dinner. 17 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

They’re voting in Florida. That always bodes well. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I feel like I’ve stood in this line before. Probably just déjà queue. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

When lunch becomes whatever you can reach without getting up, you may want to rethink some life choices. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

You can’t spell “ducking” without “autocorrect” 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

I will vote for any candidate who promises to outlaw cash bar weddings. 3 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

I’m like the reverse Michael Jackson. I always wanted to be black. I’m sexually attracted to adults, and I have no talent whatsoever. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Honk your horn at a red light. You can tell which drivers are staring at their phones by who moves without looking up. 8 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

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