Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, in honor of the holiday, we have lot of tweets about Thanksgiving and Turkeys. There are a couple of other gems thrown in there as well.
Enjoy!
@gregglynnonkjo
Gregg LynnHappy Thanksgiving Eve. Remember, every time a Christmas tree is lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer in eggnog.
6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DrunkSocialite
Drunk Socialite™Please give a round of applause for the people who stopped doing coke this week so they could enjoy dinner with family for Thanksgiving 15 minutes ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzIt’s Thanksgiving, or as the Pilgrims called it, Occupy Someone Else’s Country. http://t.co/aqN3qrAC 20 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DepressedDarth
Darth Vader#TheBestThingAboutThanksgiving: Impressing everyone by cutting the turkey with my lightsaber. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@BettyFckinWhite
Betty F*ckin’ WhiteGetting stuffed #TheBestThingAboutThanksgiving 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@FakeAPStylebook
Fake AP StylebookTurkeys are like investigative journalism: sometimes you gotta shove a carrot up that ass. 1 minute ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@MarylandMudflap
Scotty L.I’m not using Spotify. There’s no way I’m gonna let people know how many times a day I listen to Faith Evan’s “Love Like This Before.” 24 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheBosha
The Bosha“I raised 23 foster turkeys.” ~Michele Bachmann 32 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@scullymike
Mike ScullySpent the night outside a camping supply store waiting for Black Friday. Wish I had a tent and sleeping bag. 54 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@SamGrittner
Sam Grittner“You mean I HAVE TO pardon it AND it’s not mentally retarded?!” – President Rick Perry on Thanksgiving 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@firstworldme
First World ProblemsI wasn’t paying attention and bought Diet Mountain Dew instead of good Mountain Dew #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto
@cornlog
Hugh JassFYI wearing camouflage at your desk so no one sees you masturbating doesn’t work. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadWho do you think is more worried about tomorrow…..the turkeys or the Dolphins? 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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