WebProNews

Tag: WTF

  • Here’s What You’ll Look Like Wearing The World’s Dumbest Pants

    If you’ve ever bemoaned the fact that you have to dig down in your skinny jeans pocket to retrieve your smartphone, or, if you’re a virgin and strongly wish to remain that way, it appears that your fall wardrobe has already been partially set.

    That’s because the folks over at Alphyn Industries are now offering the DELTA415 Wearcom Jeans. These pants feature a straight leg cut and premium coated denim for a “deep indigo color.” Oh yeah, they also have a see-through pocket on the right leg to house your smartphone.

    From the product site:

    The patented Wearcom pocket is made of durable polymer film to allow for complete interactivity with any touch screen device. A button hole above the genuine leather film edge opens into the front pocket for threading headphones/mic wire into right pant pocket.

    Apparently, the pants were inspired by fighter pilots’ G-suits, who are notorious for having to check Facebook every few minutes. The see-through pocket fits any touchscreen device up to 3×5 inches – so iPhones, iPods, Droids, and many more.

    So, here’s what you’ll look like browsing Instagram through your pocket:

    And a closer view:

    The jeans will run you $160 and if you’re bigger than a 38 waist, you need not apply.

    Maybe I’m being a bit hard on the DELTA415s. I mean, getting your smartphone out of your pocket can definitely be a bitch, especially if you’re rocking something with a 4.5-inch screen. But there’s gotta be a better way. Right?

    [via Gizmodo]

  • Jose Canseco Will Apparently Shoot Testosterone Live On New Membership Site

    There are some Twitter accounts that you follow because you genuinely value the tweets that come from them. Great Twitter accounts can provide up-to-the-second news and insider information, or they can give you a window inside the life of celebs and other high-profile newsmakers. Some Twitter accounts you follow because the person tweets tidbits that are relevant to your everyday life or line of work.

    And some Twitter accounts you follow because it would simply be a disservice to yourself not to follow them, even if you can’t put your finger on why. Former MLB star Jose Canseco’s Twitter account falls into this category.

    Canseco’s Twitter account (472,000 followers) has been on the radar for a little while now. Not only is he very active on the site, but his tweets oftentimes range from WTF to seriously, WTF. It’s both entertaining and bizarre, unfiltered and occasionally offensive. Last month it was briefly deactivated, but the perplexing string of tweets resumed very shortly thereafter.

    Now, Canseco’s latest Twitter activity is holding up to the high standards of odd set by previous activity. He has just used his account to notify his followers of a new membership website that will involve live streamed chats, inside baseball footage and, well, weekly injections.

    You will all join my website cause it will be so easy and cost almost nothing.you can talk to me (cont) http://t.co/jdj5egbJ
    1 hour ago via TweetCaster for Android · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    The full tweet:

    You will all join my website cause it will be so easy and cost almost nothing.you can talk to me direct using a video feed and get to see live baseball footage of playing so you haters can make fun of me ,also you will see me inject my weekly dosage of testosterone and lots more

    Also, he’ll slap a hater.

    It will be the most interactive website ever .I complete you and slap a hater
    1 hour ago via TweetCaster for Android · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

    So, there you go. Now word on when this members only experience will open up. Also, no word on how he plans to mix the interactive testosterone experience with his other recent aspirations:

    I want to run for office
    1 day ago via TweetCaster for Android · powered by @socialditto
     Reply  · Retweet  · Favorite

  • “Friday” Producer Gets “Happy” With Official Sequel To Rebecca Black “Hit”

    Well, at least Patrice Wilson has a sense of humor about the whole “Friday” cultural brainfart. The only problem is that his sense of humor has led him to record another terrible song. Oh well, it’s Friday – which means that by Saturday morning you’ll be H-A-P-P-Y. Or something like that.

    You remember Patrice Wilson, right? He’s the guy who produced the YouTube Hall of Fame “Friday” video which shot young Rebecca Black to internet stardom. He also makes an appearance in “Friday,” as the guy rapping in the car.

    His new song, “Happy,” is dedicated to all the haters out there. Kind of.

    After “Friday” and all the negativity surrounding it, Patrice Wilson realized that the world has a lot of anger and hate. All we need is a smile on our faces to reunite as one.Spread the word and share the love!!!! Get H-A-P-P-Y.

    After a two-minute self-deprecating intro, the song begins. It’s autotuned. There’s a shocked mailman, questionably young cheerleaders, a yoga class, a magic engagement, police malfeasance, racial stereotypes, and it all ends with a nice representation of the typical “hater.” Yeah, I watched the whole thing.

    Check it out below:

    Did you ever think “Friday” would qualify as ear bleach?

    [h/t Mashable]

  • Nokia’s “Rack City” Parody “Dev City” Is…Well…WTF?

    UPDATE: All of that bad press might have prompted Nokia to take action. The video was set to private just a few moments ago.

    ORIGINAL ARTICLE: Nokia says that they are “bringing cool to coding” for their Ready.Set () {Code} Challenge.

    Mobile devices are cool. Mobile apps are cool. Mobile Developers are about to get cooler. Nokia Developer is turning towns into Dev Cities with its Ready.Set () {Code} Challenge. We are hitting 13-cities looking for developers who want to build an experience not just another app. Developers who build the coolest, baddest apps for the Windows Phone platform and Nokia Lumia devices earn devices & prizes.

    Ok, fair enough. But we can’t approve of this video they’ve made highlighting their “dev city” concept. We just can’t.

    “Dev City” is a parody of Tyga’s “Rack City,” which we can’t really call a classic in its own right. But Nokla has kind of crossed a decency line with this one. According to Gizmodo (who called it the worst thing the happen to the world, by the way), the video was shot at a Nokia office in Boston by director Aaron Perkins Jr..

    Echoing Gizmodo, Tech Crunch simply said it was the worst thing on the internet. Many of the YouTubers seem to like it, however. Just check it out below and decide for yourself:

    Back in April, Nokia reported a $1.7 billion loss for Q1. They announced that they had sold 2 million Lumias during the quarter. That wasn’t nearly enough, as we learned that the company made more from the sale of iPhones than it did from their own smartphone.

    UPDATE 2: Until it pops up again somewhere on the interwebs, here’s a sampling of some of its finer lyrics:

    I get my apps done pronto
    Push it in the mornin’ and I’m gonzo
    Hanchos gonna make it rain buy a poncho
    You ain’t gettin’ money made but you want dough

    Head phones on tilt seat back
    Steady codin’ on it keys get tapped
    lovin’ this platform, some too packed
    d/l numbers going up like gas

    Hot damn pull away from the pack
    Localized it so I’m big in japan
    Tat t-t-t-tatted up gettin stacks

    Steve Balma love’s me
    you know how it is

    [Chorus:] – The Product (Christian)
    dev city kid, dev, dev city kid
    dev city kid, dev, dev city kid
    dev city kid, dev, dev city kid
    hacking code on them apps and I’m getting cheques

    dev city kid, dev, dev city kid
    dev city kid, dev, dev city kid
    dev city kid, dev, dev city kid
    ten ten ten twenties and them fifties Smixx

    UPDATE 3: Here it is, thanks to The Next Web:

  • Should You Be Concerned With CISPA?

    Should You Be Concerned With CISPA?

    By now, if your awareness level concerning Internet regulation bills like CISPA and its SOPA/PIPA predecessors hasn’t increased, you’re doing yourself a disservice. It could be the fact that after SOPA was defeated, people thought the fight was over. Or it could be people are waiting on Wikipedia to blackout before they get mad.

    Unfortunately, there may not be a Internet-wide blackout this time around, which means people are going to have to inform themselves instead of relying on a service to voluntarily turn itself off before they fight back. Of course, it could be said the reason people were fighting back against SOPA was due to its trend status, something the Internet blackout directly contributed to. Without people talking about the blackout on services like Twitter and Facebook, the buzz concerning SOPA might have remained low enough for the government to sneak it through.

    Instead of waiting on an Internet blackout that may not even happen, people should apply the lessons they learned from SOPA and inform themselves about the potential issues CISPA presents. To facilitate this process, the group at Paralegal.net have created a “WTF is CISPA” infographic, and if you take the time and use it to your benefit, you’ll soon see the fight for an open Internet did not end when SOPA collapsed on itself:

    WTF Is CISPA

    Much like the graphic points out, don’t rely on web companies to tell you when it’s time to act. Don’t wait on a blackout that may never come to motivate you. Of course, the fact that people waited until certain services were blacked out to protest SOPA makes me question their motivations. Were they pissed they couldn’t find an answer for their homework or were they really mad about the damage such bills could do?

  • Skype Unveils Strange “Humoticons” Facebook App

    As a part of its “It’s Time for Skype” marketing campaign, Skype announced today the “Skype Humoticons” app for Facebook. The announcement came on Skype’s Big Blog, where Francie Strong, director of global marketing at Skype, detailed the thought behind this strange (and seemingly pointless) app.

    The humoticons app allows users to put their face into a circle and, well, make faces. Users can use images they already have on Facebook, or they can use their webcam to generate humoticons. For really ambitious humoticon fans, the option to use up to 5 pictures to create a low-quality .gif animation is available. Once the humoticon is finished it can be posted to a user’s Facebook page or shared using its URL.

    What are humoticons for, you ask? I honestly don’t know. Strong suggests users attempt to emulate classic emoticons such as a smiley face or a wink. From the blog post:

    “Or just freestyle it and do whatever you want to express the way you’re feeling. Because nothing can replace the look on your face.”

    Any member of Facebook person who wants to try out the humoticon app can do so on the Facebook “Create your own humoticon” page. If you don’t want to enable a marketing campaign app on your Facebook profile, I don’t blame you. Luckily for you, I’ve already been the guinea pig and tried out the app. You can see the results above, where I have created what is clearly an “unsure bewilderment” humoticon. Leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

  • Girl Falls Into Sidewalk Sinkhole, Learns Dangers Of Distracted Walking

    Those of us who text and walk, or walk and talk, or Facebook and walk have plenty of dangers to worry about. While we’re looking down at our smartphones and traversing the city, we could get flattened by a car, smash our heads into a streetlight, accidentally tackle an elderly lady – really any number of accidents could occur from not paying attention.

    One of the dangers that I never really thought about was plunging down into a sinkhole.

    But that’s just what happened to a teenager in China. Today reports that the young girl fell 20 feet, as did the nice cab driver who tried to help her. Miraculously, all parties involved are okay thanks to the work of the firefighter rescue squad.

    Even more miraculous (for everyone on the interwebs), it was all captured on video. It’s kind of painful to watch, but you know you wanna:

    Having almost ended the life of some dumb kid on his iPhone who was walking across the street the other day, no kind of distracted walking story can surprise me. Besides being run over by a car, I guess falling in a giant hole is probably the most devastating thing that can happen to the perpetually unaware.

    Maybe the idea of a smartphone sidewalk lane isn’t really that bad of an idea. As an April Fool’s joke, the city of Philadelphia put up a texting-only “E-Lane” on one of their city sidewalks. It was a joke, but maybe it was rooted in an actual need for something like this?

    In all seriousness, however, wtf China? I’m sure there was a caution sign somewhere, but could it hurt to put up some ropes or some tape around the area? Jeez.

    I’m almost scared to see how many sinkholes people will be falling into when Google Glasses actually become a reality.

  • Sex Robots Get The NMA Treatment

    Last week was all about sex robots. Ok, maybe not all about sex robots, but the concept definitely grabbed the our attention after two Victoria University researchers published a paper detailing a possible future world where prostitution was largely the job of pleasurebots.

    They imagined Amsterdam in the year 2050, where the “sex tourism” industry no longer used real humans, but instead lifelike android sexbots. The paper proposed that such an “innovation” would help cut down on the exploitation of the human trafficking that is rampant in many parts of the globe. Not only that, but these sex robots would be manufactured with bacteria-resistant fiber, which would in theory reduce the instances of STDs.

    Since sex robots had their moment in the news cycle, it was only a matter of time until our favorite animators tackled the issue. Next Media Animation’s take on sex robots somehow involves the Burger King, a future president Malia Obama, and R2D2. Just like most of their videos, this adds a much-needed WTF element to the issue.

    Check it out below (maybe NSFW due to animated sex toy chucking):

    Of course, this isn’t the first time that NMA has put their spin on an emerging technology story. They’ve animated things like Google’s Motorola acquisition, new iPad rumors, and Facebook’s f8 conference.

    As far as the whole sex robots thing goes, do you think that it’s a realistic vision of the future? Could pleasure-seekers ever really be satisfied by a machine, no matter how human it may appear? Let us know what you think in the comments.

  • Chinese Kidney-For-iPad Case Sees Multiple Arrests

    Last June, we told you about the truly WTF case of a 17-year-old Chinese high-schooler who made some deals and eventually ended up in a hospital getting his kidney extracted by black market surgeons. He gave up the organ for money – which is shocking enough on its own.

    But it was the reason for wanting the money that really made you go “huh.” The boy told Chinese newspapers that he just wanted to buy an iPad 2, but lacked the proper funds.

    “I wanted to buy an iPad 2 but could not afford it. A broker contacted me on the Internet and said he could help me sell one kidney for 20,000 yuan,” he said.

    According to a Reuters report, it looks as though some charges have been filed in the case. The incident, which reportedly happened in April 2011, was still being investigated when we last told you about it. Now, five men have been charged with intentional injury – one of the five being the actual surgeon who allegedly performed the operation.

    Apparently, one of the men charged (the orchestrator, it seems) received 220,000 yuan (around $35,000) to make the whole thing happen. 22,000 yuan went to the boy himself, and he split up the rest among the surgeon and nurses who performed the surgery.

    When we last reported on the kid, we mentioned that his health was in decline. That hasn’t changed – he is currently suffering renal failure.

    Just a note: The surname that the Reuters report gives for the boy involved doesn’t match the surname given when the story broke last summer. Back then is was “Zheng,” and now the kid’s being called “Wang.” All of the other info matches up, however – including the timeframe, all the monetary amounts mentioned, the locations of the boy’s home as well as the hospital where the surgery took place. We’re assuming this is the same kid – as no other kidney for iPad stories have emerged in the past few months.

    What’s the craziest thing you would do for a piece of technology that you really wanted? Let us know in the comments.

  • David Lynch’s “Crazy Clown Time” Video Is A Big Ol’ Dose Of David Lynch

    If you’re familiar with the work of filmmaker David Lynch, the video you’re about to see shouldn’t be too jarring. If you haven’t seen a lot of David Lynch films, your response might be a resounding WTF.

    Even as someone who’s familiar with Lynch (and harbors mixed feelings about his work), the just-released video for his song “Crazy Clown Time” is pretty surreal. And odd. There’s a football player, a pretty righteous mohawk, fire, some moaning naked girls, a bit of beer wasting, and a couple of instances of ear-piercing screaming. All in all, it amounts to one of the strangest backyard parties that I’ve ever seen.

    It’s Lynch’s song, and he also directed the video. Check it out below (kind of NSFW):

    The song comes to you from Lynch’s debut solo album “Crazy Clown Time,” which released last November to mixed critical reception. Lynch decided to try his hand at putting what goes on inside his head into a cohesive musical experience – a challenge indeed. Lynch, of course, is probably best known for his films Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive, as well as the cult classic TV show Twin Peaks. but other than being a legendary filmmaker and now a solo artist, Lynch is a visual artist and coffee enthusiast.

    The video debuted today on the Noisey YouTube Channel. Noisey, the music discovery company that got their start at SXSW 2011, had this to say about the video:

    “Crazy Clown Time” unveils a majestic, yet powerfully idiosyncratic vision of “modern blues” that could only be drawn from the mind of David Lynch. Filled with foreboding soundscapes, hypnotic rhythms and enigmatic lyrics, this is music that will resonate not only with fans of Lynch’s films, but also to listeners who appreciate daring, experimental music.

    The YouTube commentary mirrors the response to most of Lynch’s work – all over the place. “Captivating, daring and absolutely mad, LOVE IT!” writes one viewer. “It’s crap and sorry, it’s just pretentious,” writes another. The most accurate is probably “What the f*ck did I just watch?”

    To sum it up, David Lynch makes a David Lynchian music video for a David Lynchian song and receives David Lynchian response. Questions? Let us know what you think about it in the comments.

  • “Shitter” Lets You Put Those Unfunny Tweets Where They Belong: The Toilet

    Let’s imagine a scenario:

    You’re sitting (comfortably I might add) in your recliner watching last week’s Mad Men on DVR when suddenly, it hits you. So you leap (carefully) from your chair and rush down the hall to the bathroom. You sit down only to realize that you’ve forgotten your smartphone. What are you expected to do? Read the back of the shampoo bottle like some sort of heathen?

    Now, there’s another choice. You could read some of your favorite tweets without even needing your smartphone. And after you read those favorite tweets, you can promptly wipe your ass with them.

    Okay, so you might want to choose some of your least-regarded tweets for the purposes of this new service. It’s called “Shitter,” and it is launching today.

    Shitter is simple but brilliant. It allows you to design your own custom toilet paper, printed with the tweets of your choice. Once you visit the site, you’ll be asked to allow access to your Twitter account. From there, you choose what stream of tweets you want printed on your rolls of TP. You can get your own tweets, someone else’s tweets, your tweet stream, your favorited tweets, or even the tweets from a list you’ve created.

    “Social media has never been more disposable,” they say. They obviously haven’t seen some of the Twitter feeds I’ve seen.

    Collector’s Edition proudly presents @getshitter – Twitter on toilet paper. Social media has never been so disposable! http://t.co/GwHozrEc 2 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Launch day! We’re stoked (shitting ourselves perhaps?) to finally be sharing http://t.co/NdvR4amO with the world! 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    @howardlindzon @benpopper Our @getshitter valuation is easily into the double-digit cents now, look out Facebook IPO! 2 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Each order of 4 customized rolls will cost you $35 (+ shipping and taxes) – and they ship internationally.

    Sometimes it’s the simplest idea that ends up paying off. Who wouldn’t want to wipe themselves with that unfunny tweet your friend made the other night? I know I would. And with 75% of Americans using their smartphones on the toilet, it’s highly likely that the tweet that you end up flushing down the toilet was actually tweeted while on the toilet. What a beautiful circle of life.

    [Via The Next Web]

  • LivingSocial Drops A Cleveland Steamer For Only $69

    LivingSocial Drops A Cleveland Steamer For Only $69

    I’m a 20-something male, so sometimes things that are said in a completely innocuous manner and setting can still make me chuckle like a fifth-grader. I’ll be the first to admit that my mind usually does a faceplant right in the gutter whenever I hear something even remotely unsavory.

    But really, this can’t just be me.

    Today’s LivingSocial deal on the westside of Cleveland, Ohio offers subscribers a great deal on eco-friendly carpet cleaning. They even say that it’s a great way to romance that special someone. Yes, today’s deal is for a $69 Cleveland Steamer:

    If you’re looking to romance that special someone, forget about spa treatments and up-market dinner dates in Tremont (save that for tomorrow’s deal). Steam it up courtesy of today’s offer from Cleveland Steamer with an eco-friendly carpet cleaning and deodorization for three areas (up to 900 square feet) for $69 (regularly $180). Your beau will swoon over the attention to detail and how the carpet won’t just be clean, but protected and odor-free. What’s more, this truck-mount steam-cleaning service uses only green products so you can be sure to keep the chemistry in your relationship, but the chemicals out of your home. Cleveland Steamer’s been going ten years strong. Let them boost the longevity of your carpets — and your love life.

    Now, I’ll try to handle this in the same way I’ve handled all the Santorum stuff – with descriptive care. “Cleveland Steamer” is a slang term for a certain sex act. The exact definition can vary, but it always involves the same thing. If you want to learn more, Google it or try Urban Dictionary. It should go without saying that the results you find will probably be NSFW.

    Is LivingSocial making a joke here? It sure seems like it. But the actual deal comes from a carpet cleaning service in the area called Cleveland Steamer. So perhaps the company made the joke with their name, and LivingSocial just let it go.

    Or maybe all parties involved are just oblivious to the slang. Either way, you can file this in the almost-too-good-to-be-true file.

    [h/t/ Uproxx]

  • Minecraft Graphing Calculator Takes Time, Blows Minds

    Minecraft players have used the platform to recreate Hyrule, map out King’s Landing from Game of Thrones, and build in-game Rube Goldberg devices to explain updates. All of these things fly way over my head in terms of not only logistics, but creativity and patience as well.

    The newest use of Minecraft to grace the interwebs is so beyond me that it actually makes my head hurt. Some creative, patient soul has created a functioning scientific/graphing calculator in Minecraft.

    YouTube users SgtGodswordBerserker is the brain behind the operation.

    Specs: 6 digit addition and subtraction, 3 digit multiplication, division and trigonometric/scientific functions. (The reason these are only 3 digits is because multiplication and division would take a long time to decode/complete/encode. Also, the fraction display is hard enough to build for 3 digits, let alone 6 – 6 digit RAM would not only be massive, but a bit pointless since the curves follow the same pattern surrounding the peaks.). Graphing y=mx+c functions, quadratic functions, and equation solving of the form mx+c=0.

    Check it out:

    Most YouTubers and redditors are pretty impressed – to say the least. The top YouTube comments, however, says “I watched it in 1080p but it still looks really blocky.” Don’t want the guy to get too proud of his accomplishment.

    All I can think about is time. Just how long this took the guy to complete. You can say that people fritter and waste their hours on the interwebs, but don’t you dare say that some of the denizens of the internet are anything less than brilliant.

    [via reddit]

  • Gallagher Heart Attack: Twitter Reactions

    Watermelon smashing comedian, Leo Gallagher, was hospitalized on Wednesday evening after suffering a heart attack at Hat Tricks, a bar in Texas, where he was scheduled to perform later that night.

    Gallagher collapsed in a Minnesota club in March of last year after he heaved a giant mallet above his head to smash a watermelon. The entire scene left the audience shocked and concerned.

    His manager, Craig Marquardo, told TheWrap that Gallagher “had met a few fans and whatnot, and he was in the office (of Hat Tricks) when he felt a little tired. So he went in and sat down, and then (club employees) went in and checked on him and he wasn’t feeling good, so they called an ambulance.” Marquardo added that Gallagher “…was feeling the onset of a heart attack … He just didn’t know it at the time.”

    Gallagher is currently being evaluated at a Dallas area hospital and his manager has cancelled some of his performances but is waiting for test results before he nixes the rest of the tour.

    Events over the past few years may have led to his heart-attacks. His brother Ron tried to impersonate him and rip-off his act which led him to sue his kin and he has also been brought under scrutiny for making jokes about “French fags” and weird baby names that lead to lesbian tendencies.

    Marc Maron confronted Gallagher about his “prejudiced material” and walked out of the WTF interview. Throughout the interview in the following YouTube video you can tell how stressed out and angry the comedian was:

    Once word of his heart-attack got out snarky tweets ensued:

    @SethMacFarlane Watermelons everywhere are rejoicing. “Gallagher suffers heart attack http://t.co/EkXKLeOn(image) 20 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Smashing watermelons for 4 decades is stressful: Gallagher suffers heart attack via @HuffingtonPost http://t.co/JsXsdaDg(image) 6 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Gallagher had a heart attack before a show. I guess this means Carrot Top will be having one soon too…(image) 5 minutes ago via Favstar.FM ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I heard that Gallagher had a heart attack and that makes me sad because I thought he died like ten years ago. 🙁(image) 8 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I heard Gallagher had a heart attack! Wonder if the Dr. used a giant sledgehammer on him instead of a defibrillator #Gallagher #heartattack(image) 9 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Gallagher had a heart attack! I wonder if the doctors pounded his chest with a huge mallet…(image) 13 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

  • Coors Light Iced T: Tap The Teabags?

    I’m really not sure what to say about this, but here it is. The company responsible for Coors and Coors Light is attempting to branch out into the summer alcoholic beverage industry with an iced tea/beer mashup that sounds, well, it doesn’t sound like a Long Island Iced Tea, if that was the approach.

    Instead, it sounds like something of a reach.

    As DailyFinance points out, the beer/tea drink will be available “next month” and will be sold in cans. Because of the lemon flavoring associated with iced tea, apparently the Coors Light Iced T will contain a citrusy taste. So, what we have is a combination of beer, lemon, and tea. Does that sound like a winning combination? Bonus: Coors’ cocktail will contain no caffeine; although, is that really a bonus?

    The report also reveals the initial offering will be limited to Canada. Apparently, confidence concerning American acceptance is low. Considering some of the Twitter reaction, that’s understandable:

    Just read about that – Yuck! RT @blogaboutbeer: Coors Light Iced T, that’s just wrong – http://t.co/9fRDz46O(image) 31 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    a disgrace to all that is frothy RT @blogaboutbeer: Coors Light Iced T, that’s just wrong – http://t.co/dZkUFbhJ(image) 55 minutes ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Coors Light Iced T, that’s just wrong – http://t.co/ZHn672bY(image) 57 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    And then there’s this astute observation:

    Really Coors? You couldn’t have went with Spiked Tea? Tea Beer? No. Coors Light Iced Tea. Yes, C.L.I.T. Well done.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    C.L.I.T. Is that name of the Silver Bullet train that’s in all of those Coors Light commercials?

  • Chinese Man Buys A Fake iPhone, Stabs A Counterfeiter To Death

    What’s the angriest you’ve ever been after a purchase? What about that time your friend sold you that used video game that “worked like new” but when you opened it you found it covered with scratches and unplayable? How about that signed baseball card with the signature that rubbed off the second you got it home?

    Most everyone has been duped before, but did it make you feel homicidal?

    In Zhengzhou city, China(the location of one of Foxconn’s biggest Apple factories), one jilted market shopper got a little stabby when he discovered that the iPhone he had just purchased was not really an iPhone, but a counterfeit device constructed only well enough assuage any suspicions at the moment of sale.

    The suspect, identified by ChinaHush as a Mr. Feng, was arrested last week after assaulting multiple people in a market plaza inside Zhengzhou. According to the reports, Feng was there looking for the particular guy who sold him his fake iPhone, but settled for some individuals that looked to be associated with the counterfeit trade.

    After getting home with his fake iPhone a realizing he’d been had, Feng apparently went back to the market plaza only to discover that the seller was long gone. Feng then continued to visit the plaza every day looking for the culprit – one day bringing a kitchen knife along.

    On that day, Feng happened upon another transaction in the same area. He saw what looked like a similar transaction to the one that fooled him, with the fake iPhone appearing to resemble the one sold to him. “Very upset after being cheated,” Feng attacked the sellers with the knife – killing one.

    The reports indicate that the victim died of blood loss after having a major artery in his leg severed.

    Although it’s unclear why Feng expected anything other than a fake iPhone while making purchases on the street, one thing is clear: When you truly want an iPhone – there is no substitute.

  • Underage Girls Targeted For Sex In Intricate Facebook Fake Identity Scam

    Since the advent of the internet, people have always cited the relative “anonymity” that it provides as both a strength and a danger. Are people really who they say they are? Anyone who’s a member of any online community knows how easy it is to falsify information about yourself. Remember the running joke back when chat rooms were still popular? That hot 18-year-old girl you’re talking to probably looks like Danny DeVito, right?

    One man in Pennsylvania is being charged with 68 felony counts after he went to painstaking lengths to manipulate underage girls through a series of fake Facebook accounts.

    According to Attorney General Linda Kelly, the investigation into the activities of William R. Ainsworth began back in September of 2011, after he was arrested for attempting to engage in sexual acts with a 14-year-old girl. After he was arrested, they found that this one lascivious meeting was just the tip of the iceberg. After combing through thousands of online communications, performing 18 searches, and interviewing over 30 children, the state has put together one hell of a story about Mr. Ainsworth.

    “We quickly discovered that there was much more to this case than the sexual solicitation of one girl,” Kelly said. “What we found was an intricate web of false Facebook identities that were used to establish online relationships with vulnerable girls, who were then manipulated into sending nude photos to Ainsworth – believing he was a young surfer living in Florida – or physically meeting Ainsworth for sex – under the impression that those sexual encounters would help raise money so the girls could run away to Florida to be with their new online friend.”

    Here’s how Ainsworth allegedly constructed his webs of lies:

    First, he created two fake Facebook profiles – Bill Cano and Anthony “Riip” Navari. He built up both profiles by creating a network of friends with people in the greater Pittsburgh area. Both of his characters were young surfers who had dropped out of high school and ran away to Florida. He supposedly bolstered the believability of his characters by taking images from around the internet.

    Apparently, he amassed over 600 friends between the two fake profiles.

    He then used Bill Cano to make contact with young girls. Once he had manipulated them by gaining their trust over a period of time, he would get them to send him nude and sexually explicit photos.

    But that wasn’t enough. Here’s where the story takes an even darker turn.

    Once Ainsworth had established a community of girls that cared about Bill Cano, he killed him off. Then comes “Rip” Navari, who swooped in posing to be Bill’s step-brother or best friend. He told the girls that Bill had been attacked and killed. It’s pretty easy to see how young girls could get wrapped up in all of this.

    Ainsworth then put a third fake character into play, named Glenn Keefer. Keefer’s profile said that he was a “Sugardaddy looking for Sugarbabies,” living in the Pittsburgh area. Ainsworth used Rip to introduce the girls to Keefer. The story was that if they stripped or performed sex acts with Keefer, then he would give money to Rip so that Rip could help the girls fly down to Florida to be with him.

    All in all, Ainsworth’s web tangled up 7 victims from the ages of 13-15. Five of those girls ended up sending nude photos and he actually met with two of them (posing as Keefer) for the purposes of sex.

    This is a pretty intricate fake identity scam, and if found guilty, Ainsworth is going to pay a heavy price for it. You always hear about stuff like this, and how it could happen. But it’s very rare to see something surface that’s this elaborate. The internet is one of the greatest inventions of all time – but damn, it can be cruel.

  • College Student Finds Cocaine In Used Textbook From Amazon

    When you order a used book online, you probably wouldn’t be surprised if when it arrives, it contains an old bookmark or perhaps a couple of pages of notes inside. After all, it is “used.” But I’m sure you would be a little shocked if you opened the book and a bag of coke fell out.

    According to WPTV Kansas, that’s what happened to Sophia Stockton, a junior at Mid-America Nazarene University in Olathe.

    Apparently, Stockton purchased the book through Amazon’s Warehouse Deals program, where shoppers can “get deep discounts on open-box, like-new, refurbished, or used products that are in good condition but do not meet Amazon.com’s rigorous standards as ‘new.’” When she opened it up and a baggie of white powder fell out, she initially thought it might be anthrax.

    Ironically enough, the textbook that contained the cocaine was called “Understanding Terrorism: Challenges, Perspectives, and Issues.”

    She notified the local police department, who ran an analysis on the substance:

    Warehouse Deals was created by Amazon to easily move products that aren’t quite showroom quality. It functions like any other “Fulfilled by Amazon” merchant. Amazon specifically says that items that come through Warehouse Deals are inspected carefully:

    Prior to offering an item for sale on Warehouse Deals, we verify physical and functional condition.

    Amazon says that any product that customers find unsatisfactory can be returned within 30 days for a full refund. I doubt Miss Stockton is unsatisfied with her textbook once she found out it wasn’t full of a biological warfare agent.

    She told GardnerEdge: “I have ordered many times from Amazon and this is the first time I’ve seen anything like this. I don’t think that Amazon is at fault in this case. They can’t check every book that goes through their warehouse. I’m guessing that it (the cocaine) was just left in there by the previous owner of the book.”

    Or some inspector is really bummed out. I wonder, how many other college students would have called the police?

  • Fleshlight iPad Case Takes Forever Alone To A Whole New Level [NSFW]

    Steve Jobs was all about changing the way the world does certain things, so in that respect, I guess he would have to be impressed with the ingenuity at work here. And let’s be honest, in some ways, it could change the way that people interact with porn.

    What I’m talking about it a concept design that takes forever alone to a whole new level. Meet the FLESHLiPad Holder.

    What you’re seeing is a Fleshlight device attached to the bottom of an iPad. For those of you unfamiliar with Fleshlights, you can check out the site (a tad NSFW). As you can see, it’s basically a male sex toy that simulates a vagina. It’s actually a pretty huge industry, as prospective users can build their own or purchase toys modeled after famous pornstars – and yes, they are anatomically accurate.

    It doesn’t take a genius to see why a person would want to have one of these devices attached to an iPad – and the mockup makes it pretty clear as well. I must reiterate, this is simply a concept design, but do you really think that this idea will sit around untapped for very long? I don’t think so.

    [TvMiller via Geekologie]

  • Giant-Headed Supersoldier Ants Protect The Colony, Haunt My Nightmares

    I usually live by the 8-leg rule. If an animal has less than 8 legs, it’s fine – it doesn’t freak me out. Starting with spiders, my fear exponentially increases based on the number of legs. I don’t even want to talk about any sort of creature ending in “pede.”

    So, going by my rule, ants are usually okay. That is, until you give them giant freaking heads.

    Detailed in a study published Friday in the AAAS’ Science journal, scientists have uncovered an ancient genetic trait in a certain genus of ant. This led to the creation of an absolutely terrifying mutant ant with a gargantuan head and jaws.

    With the help of Ed Yong from Discover Magazine, here’s how my biologically-challenged brain understands the issue.

    The Pheidole are a large genus of ant with over 1,100 species. Some of them have a certain “caste” with large heads, called a solider caste. A tiny fraction of those species (like eight) have been known to produce a supersoldier ant, the ones with the giant heads that we’re talking about here.

    Researchers discovered that the ability for ants to produce these freaky supersoldiers is actually not limited to these few species. The ability, on a genetic level, to make these giant-headed ants runs through the whole Pheidole genus. It’s just buried deep inside them somewhere.

    The team hit some normal ants with a particular hormone and was able to induce the development of these supersoldier ants.

    So that clarifies one important point: the researchers didn’t just create some mutant ant out of thin air. They simply activated an expression that is very rare – but already exists.

    Here’s how the study explains it in Science Mag –

    Complex worker caste systems have contributed to the evolutionary success of advanced ant societies; however, little is known about the developmental processes underlying their origin and evolution. We combined hormonal manipulation, gene expression, and phylogenetic analyses with field observations to understand how novel worker subcastes evolve. We uncovered an ancestral developmental potential to produce a “supersoldier” subcaste that has been actualized at least two times independently in the hyperdiverse ant genus Pheidole.

    This potential has been retained and can be environmentally induced throughout the genus. Therefore, the retention and induction of this potential have facilitated the parallel evolution of supersoldiers through a process known as genetic accommodation. The recurrent induction of ancestral developmental potential may facilitate the adaptive and parallel evolution of phenotypes.

    In the wild, the giant heads are used to guard and protect their ant colony from enemy ants.

    But I think the point here is that people who are much smarter than I am are able to produce terrifying super ants. Awesome.

    [Images from The Daily Mail]

  • This Cat-Brushing Robot Won’t Make You Fear The Robot Apocalypse

    Guys, they’ve done it. Somebody has created a robot that I don’t want to smash with a bat. The only thing this cute little guy has the chance to enslave is the cat he’s been trained to brush.

    Let’s back up a bit. The robot hasn’t really been trained – it’s actually controlled by a human. Oh, that’s cooler? Yeah, you’re right.

    Developer Taylor Veltrop spent the better part of 2011 constructing this little gem – a system that allows him to get in the mind of a two-foot tall NAO robot, and use that control to thoroughly satisfy or seriously annoy (honestly, who can tell with cats?) his feline companion.

    Veltrop hacked a Kinect and uses two Wii remotes to control the bot’s arms. He then uses a treadmill in correlation with the Kinect to control the bot’s movement. A head mounted display allows him to control the bot’s head as well as see through its eyes.

    The result is this: an amazingly elaborate scheme to brush your cat. Enjoy:

    And oh look! There are plans for more:

    After doing this exercise, it became apparent that the next feature to add is hearing and speaking through the robot. Luckily both the NAO and my HMD have microphones and speakers so this shouldn’t be too difficult.

    You can debate whether or not this project deserved a year of someone’s life. Hey, maybe this invention will allow people with extreme cat allergies to interact with kitties via robotic surrogate? Who knows. But one thing you can’t argue is that it’s nice to see a robot given a task that doesn’t threaten human life as we know it.

    [Hat Tip to Engadget]