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Tag: WTF

  • Missy Elliot Is Back With New Single, ‘WTF,’ Which Features Pharrell

    Missy Elliot is back after more than a decade since she released her last album and eight months since she killed it during Katy Perry’s Super Bowl halftime show.

    Fans have been waiting a long time for this moment and the wait was worth the results.

    On Monday, Elliott premiered a snippet of WTF, her new single with Pharrell during Monday Night Football, as part of a commercial for the new NBA season.

    According to BET, Elliott’s absence from the music world was a hiatus for both personal and health-related reasons. Diagnosed with Graves’ Disease in 2008, Elliott said she was unable to create her best work and so decided to wait for the right moment.

    “When I create something, it’s gotta be special and it can’t just be to throw something out there because I feel like I’m Missy,” she said in an interview. “I gotta feel like what I’m giving fans is 100 percent and that it’s game-changing. I don’t just throw out microwave records.”

    In the 30-second clip, Missy can be heard rapping over the uptempo beat. Fans can hear more when the song arrives in its entirety on November 13.

    Whatever the reasons for her absence, it’s good to have Missy Elliott back!

  • This Gun iPhone Case Is the Perfect Accessory for Getting Shot

    I’m not saying that anyone deserves to be shot by the police, because they don’t – but if you’re walking around with an iPhone case that looks like a gun sticking out of your pocket, you deserve to be shot by the police more than I do.

    In yes, we’re all about to celebrate America for a weekend buy why news, police across the country are suddenly warning people about the dangers of putting your iPhone in a case that strongly resembles a real gun.

    “Please folks – this cell phone case is not a cool product or a good idea. A police officers job is hard enough, without having to make a split second decision in the dark of night when someone decides without thinking to pull this out while stopped for a motor vehicle violation. What do you think?” wrote the Ocean County, New Jersey Prosecutor’s Office on Facebook.

    A spokesman for the office said he found the photo on a “closed social media site for cops,” according to CNN.

    It’s unclear who manufactures the case, but it’s available to purchase on Amazon and eBay right now.

    On Amazon, people are writing negative reviews urging Amazon to pull the product.

    “Dear Amazon: I highly recommend that you remove this product from your website right now! Your corporate attorneys will thank you, as will the law enforcement officers who might otherwise be put into a tragic and unnecessary lethal force situation!” says one reviewer.

    “Amazon…this is highly offensive and dangerous! Some idiot will buy this and end up getting killed by police. Come on – do NOT SELL this crap,” says another.

    Just think about things before you buy them. Just for a second. Ok?

  • Man Allegedly Confessed to Murdering Family on Facebook

    “Emily had tried everything to get better but nothing seemed to help her. I took a gun and shot her in the head and now she is migraine free and floating in the clouds on a sunny afternoon, her long beautiful brown hair flowing in the breeze, a true angel.”

    That chilling passage comes from Facebook, where a man allegedly confessed to shooting his daughter, wife, and sister before killing himself.

    CBC reports that police are investigating multiple homicides that are thought to be related to a post from a British Columbia man named Randy Janzen. In the post, he says that he was unable to continue to watch his daughter suffer from depressions an migraines, so he shot her in the head.

    “Then I shot Laurel because a mother should never have [to] hear the news her baby has died. Then a couple of days later my sister Shelly because I did not want her to have to live with this shame I have caused all alone.”

    According to the Canadian Press, “homicide investigators have said several members of one family, including the suspect, are dead at two crime scenes in B.C.’s Fraser Valley. They have not released identities but confirmed the Facebook post is part of their probe.”

    Today we celebrate the incomparable Emily Janzen. A former student and instructor, forever a part of our CSOPA family….

    Posted by Chilliwack School of Performing Arts on Friday, May 8, 2015

    “Now my family is pain free and in heaven,” wrote Janzen. “I have great remorse for my actions and feel like the dirt that I am. I am taking full responsibility for my actions of these murders. So sorry to anyone I have hurt. Rest in peace my little family {kiss emoji} Love Daddio xoxo.”

    According to a friend and co-worker, Janzen himself suffered from depression.

    “It’s brutal. I can’t believe it. Randy was a good buddy, and now he’s gone,” said the co-worker. “I left work today. Honestly, when I heard about it I started crying. I had to go home and see my little girls, because it was too much… He was a funny guy, but he was a roller-coaster too. He was depressed, and then one minute he was up. And then he was down.”

  • Florida Sheriff Charging Teen with ‘Hacking’: Change the Law If You’re Mad

    Sheriff Chris Nocco of the Pasco County, Florida, Sheriff’s office isn’t all that concerned that his department is being mocked across the country.

    Last week, we told you about the department’s decision to charge a 14-year-old hacker mastermind with a felony after he infiltrated his school’s network and put hundreds of lives in danger.

    And what I mean by that is he figured out the password by looking over a teacher’s shoulder, logged in, and set some softcore porn as a teacher’s desktop background.

    More context from our previous coverage:

    Hacker extraordinaire Domanik Green, 14, has been charged with offense against a computer system and unauthorized access after he “logged onto the school’s network on March 31 using an administrative-level password without permission. He then changed the background image on a teacher’s computer to one showing two men kissing.

    The sophisticated hack that allowed Green access to the impregnable system involved looking over a teacher’s shoulder and watching her type the password. It turned out to be the last name of a teacher at the school. Edward Snowden weeps.

    One of the main points of contention for authorities is that one of the computers Green ‘hacked’ contained FCAT questions on it. Green didn’t access or alter these files, however.

    “Even though some might say this is just a teenage prank, who knows what this teenager might have done,” Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco said.

    Thoughtcrimes leader and amateur future teller Chris Nocco is standing by his decision, despite ridicule from all corners of the internet.

    From the Tampa Bay Times:

    Nocco is sticking to his guns. Green was suspended from school for three days for similar activity back in October, and the sheriff said it was obvious he hadn’t learned his lesson.

    “I think, unfortunately, when the story’s being told in other (publications), they’re not talking about the fact that he committed this crime previously,” Nocco said Monday. “We enforce the law. And if we don’t enforce the law, nobody else will.”

    Also, he said, the crime with which Green is charged is deemed a felony by the state Legislature. If people want to change it, they can write lawmakers, he said.

    Write your congressperson, folks. Nothing we can do about it now. Change the law if you’re mad.

    People are mad, for sure. Here’s a sampling of posts currently sitting on the Pasco County Sheriff’s Facebook page:

    Felony charges because of what a 14 year old kid ‘might have done?’ Since when do we charge people based on the seriousness of crimes they ‘might’ commit. Your county sucks.

    What has become of our society when felony charges are given for a harmless prank? We don’t live in the realm of “what if”. “who knows what this teenager MIGHT have done” -Sheriff Chris Nocco. I sincerely hope that this gets laughed out of court.

    Missing children. Unsolved murders. And yet, you guys are arresting a kid for being a kid. Pigs

    This is why even us law abiding Americans hates the police.. You people should really be ashamed of yourselves.. I mean, how do you sleep at night? Oh.. come to think of it… I’ll bet you sleep quite well.

    I think it’s hilarious how you can charge a 8th grader with a felony and quite possibly ruin his life over a prank. When your own jackholes can just resign when they commit felonies. The double standards you have created in this country does not go over looked. You expect the public to show you respect and to trust you when you do the exact opposite. History will remember a ti.e in this country when our law enforcement were corrupt and could not be trusted. Shame on you.

    This kid is 14 and the sheriff wants him to have a felony conviction on his record for the rest of his life. Despicable.

    I’m embarrassed for you Chris.

    It’s probably unlikely the kid will see the inside of a courtroom – but the complications from this, and the legal bills likely to be incurred by his family – will not be inconsequential.

    Image via Pasco Sheriff’s Office, Facebook

  • ‘Black Widow of Facebook’ Lured Men, Drugged Them, and Robbed Them

    With a nickname like “Black Widow of Facebook”, you better be pretty good at your (con) job.

    And according to police, Sofia Davila was certainly that.

    Fox News reports that the 21-year-old Argentinian woman has been arrested after she was caught in one of her Facebook robbery schemes. Apparently, Davila’s M.O. was to use the social networking site to attract men, usually with suggestive photos. Once she had their attention, she’d offer to meet them for sex at a hotel or sometimes at their own home.

    Of course, what seems too good to be true usually is. According to police, Davilia would spike her victims’ drinks, wait for them to pass out, and rob them blind.

    “We went to a hotel and had a good time and when she suggested we meet again I didn’t think anything was suspicious. The next time we met she came to my place and said she’d like to drink her own alcohol and poured me one too. I then began to fill ill and passed out. When I woke up my feet and hands were tied and there were two men in my flat taking my TV, stereo and other things,” one of the victims told The Daily Mail.

    Las oportunidades tiene fecha de caducidad, aprovecha el hoy.

    Posted by Sofia Davila on Tuesday, February 24, 2015

    Davila has some balls, as police say she came into the station to report the thefts, claiming she had been forced to leave by said men and was unable to stop them. This eventually aroused suspicion, however, as more victims began to talk of meeting a woman on Facebook.

    Here’s what the police had to say, via Metro:

    The problem with her statement was that we had already received a dozen complaints from other men saying they had been robbed after meeting a woman over Facebook. This was the first time the woman had actually shown up herself though, but because she matched the description we already had we decided to hold her for questioning. As soon as we spoke to the victim we knew she was the woman behind the robberies and it only took a little while before we had a full confession. We also found that the man had been drugged.

    In all, Davila reportedly confessed to more than 15 robberies. Once again, if a hot woman approaches you for sex on Facebook, think with your brain, not with your dick.

    Image via Sofia Davila, Facebook

  • Woman Who Cut Out Baby After Luring Mother on Craigslist Won’t Face Murder Charges

    A decision not to file murder charges against a woman accused of cutting a seven-month-old fetus from its mother’s womb is setting off debates over so-called “fetal homicide laws.”

    Earlier this month we told you the horrifying story of a woman who lured a pregnant woman to her home with a Craigslist ad for used baby clothing. When she arrived, she was beaten and stabbed. It ended with 34-year-old Dynel Lane cutting 26-year-old Michelle Wilkins’ unborn baby from her womb and leaving her there to die. Wilkins didn’t die, however. After spending some time in critical condition she was just recently released from the hospital.

    According to police, Lane had been telling her family that she was pregnant for some time. When her husband came home he found Lane covered in blood. The baby was in the upstairs bathtub. She told him she had a miscarriage, which is also what she told doctors when she took the baby to the hospital. It didn’t survive.

    According to District Attorney Stan Garnett, the decision on what charges to file is a tough one, but murder is not an option due to the state of Colorado’s fetal homicide laws. In Colorado, a baby must show signs of life outside the womb to be considered a victim in a homicide.

    From The Denver Post:

    “Under Colorado law, essentially, there is no way murder charges can be brought if it’s not established that the fetus lived as a child outside the body of the mother,” he said.

    David Beller, a Denver defense attorney, says the charges present a complex legal challenge and deciding which ones to file is “incredibly complicated.”

    “In my experience, doctors (can) tell pretty readily whether or not the baby actually took a breath and if the lungs expanded,” he said. “I think the legal questions are going to turn to her conduct after the fact.”

    Beller said that “multiple issues” were likely at play in deciding what charges to file. He added that while there is a great deal of legal precedent in fetal death cases, there isn’t much that equates to last week’s case.

    There are 37 states that label the killing of a fetus as homicide in some cases. Twenty nine of those offer full coverage to the unborn through all periods of pre-natal development. Eight offer partial coverage – depending on the stage of development. Colorado is not one of those states.

    What Colorado does have on the books are laws that make the intentional killing of a pregnant woman an aggravating factor, as well as those that “specify that a court shall sentence a defendant convicted of committing specified offenses against a pregnant woman, if the defendant knew or reasonably should have known that the victim was pregnant, to a term of at least the midpoint, but not more than twice the maximum, of the presumptive range for the punishment of the offense” and “establishing that a court shall sentence a defendant convicted of assault in the third degree to a term of imprisonment of at least six months, but not longer than the maximum sentence authorized for the offense, if the victim of the assault was a pregnant woman and the defendant knew or should have known that the victim was pregnant.”

    For pro-choicers, fetal homicide laws represent a slippery slope to curtailing abortion rights.

    For the pro-lifers, this tragic case is an example of the need for such laws and many blame the other side for interfering in their passage.

    This is already political, but it’s probably best to think about the human consequences first. A woman is lucky to be alive and now has to deal with one of the most traumatic experiences one can imagine for the rest of her life.

  • Woman Lures Pregnant Woman with Craigslist Ad, Cuts Out Baby

    Online marketplace Craigslist has a reputation for attracting some pretty odd characters – some with severely bad intentions. The latest Craigslist-related crime story comes out of Colorado and it’s absolutely terrifying.

    A 26-year-old Longmont, CO, woman is in the hospital recovering after she was brutally beaten and stabbed after answering a Craigslist ad of a woman looking to sell baby clothes. The suspect, 34-year-old Dynel Lane, cut her unborn baby from her womb. The victim was around seven months pregnant.

    According to police, the pregnant victim went to Lane’s house following a Craigslist ad for baby clothes. But when she arrived, she was immediately attacked. Lane, who was once a certified nurse’s aide, then cut the baby from her body and left her there bleeding. Lane apparently took the baby to the hospital, claiming to have had a miscarriage.

    The baby did not survive the attack. The victim is expected to recover.

    “Officers arrived on scene and could hear a female calling for help inside the home. Officers entered the home and located a female who had been beaten and stabbed in the stomach,” Longmont police told FOX31 Denver. “It was later learned, the female was pregnant and her baby had been removed. The victim was transported to the Longmont United Hospital where she underwent surgery and is expected to recover.”

    Apparently police have a motive, but aren’t releasing it as of yet. From The Washington Post:

    Investigators have “a pretty good idea” of the motivation of the suspect, [Longmont Police Commander] Jeff Satur told The Post in a Thursday morning phone call. Although Satur declined to discuss details, he said “it would be something everybody would think.”

    This extremely troubling story is just another reminder to be careful when dealing with strangers online. This sort of Craigslist bait-and-attack happens more often than you might think.

  • This Lawmaker Wants to Ban Yoga Pants and Speedos

    Meet David “Doc” Moore, a Republican legislator from Missoula, Montana.

    David Moore would like you to please refrain from wearing any sort of form-fitting clothing in public, thank you very much.

    Moore has sponsored a bill, House Bill 365, that would strengthen the state’s indecent exposure laws to include the mere outline of someone’s butt, let’s say, Or their nipple, or “anus region”.

    Here’s what Montana’s law currently says:

    …a person commits the offense of indecent exposure if the person knowingly or purposely exposes the person’s genitals under circumstances in which the person knows the conduct is likely to cause affront or alarm in order to: (a) abuse, humiliate, harass, or degrade another; or (b) arouse or gratify the person’s own sexual response or desire or the sexual response or desire of any person

    Moore would like it to state:

    …a person commits the offense of indecent exposure if the person knowingly or purposely exposes the person’s genitals, pubic hair, or anus or exposes the areola or nipple of the person’s breast with anything less than a fully opaque covering while in a public place or visible from a public place without taking reasonable precautions to prevent exposure, and disregards whether a reasonable person would be offended or alarmed by the act; or (b) exposes any device, costume, or covering that gives the appearance of or simulates the genitals, pubic hair, anus region, or pubic hair region or exposes any device worn as a cover over the nipple or areola of the female breast that simulates and gives the realistic appearance of a nipple or areola while in a public place or visible from a public place without taking reasonable precautions to prevent exposure, and disregards whether a reasonable person would be offended or alarmed by the act.

    If you look closely, you can see that Moore not only added more instances of what counts as “indecent exposure” (coverings that give appearance of or simulates), but he also took out the part where the indecent exposer had to have intent to abuse, harass, or gratify themselves.

    In order to make it more palatable, David Moore proposes to lessen the maximum, third offense penalty from its current insanity of life in prison and $10,000 to no more than five years and $5,000. That’s a nice thought, but it doesn’t really make up for …

    “Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” Moore said after a recent hearing.

    and …

    From the AP:

    The Republican from Missoula says tight-fitting beige clothing could be considered indecent exposure under his proposal. He says he wouldn’t have a problem with people being arrested for wearing provocative clothing but that he’d trust law enforcement officials to use their discretion.

    Moore says he believes yoga pants and men’s Speedo-style swim briefs should be illegal in public.

    That’s pretty wack, man.

    Apparently, Moore got the idea for the bill after he saw some wieners at a “Bare as you Dare” naked biking event last summer.

    This is not a good bill. It should be taken out behind the courthouse and shot. We should make David Moore do it. It’ll can be his Old Yeller moment.

    The author thanks the committee for its time.

    Image via Ballotpedia

  • Teen Took Snapchat Selfie with Classmate He Shot in the Face: Police

    In true wtf news of the day, a Jeannette, Pennsylvania teen is facing first-degree murder charges after he reportedly confessed to shooting his classmate in the face. Police say they were able to link 16-year-old Maxwell Morton to the crime with a gruesome Snapchat selfie.

    According to police, Morton shot his classmate, 16-year-old Ryan Mangan, in the face with a 9mm handgun. Shortly after, he took a selfie with the body and sent it to another classmate via Snapchat.

    Here are some of the chilling details, via the Pittsburgh Tribune Review:

    “(Police) received a copy of the photo which depicted the victim sitting in the chair with a gunshot wound to the face,” a police affidavit states. “It also depicts a black male taking the ‘selfie,’ with his face facing the camera and the victim behind the actor. The photo had the name ‘Maxwell’ across the top.”

    Morton also allegedly sent text messages that read, “Told you I cleaned up the shells,” and “Ryan was not the last one.”

    Police were alerted to the existence of the photo by the boy’s mother. Her son had managed to take a screenshot of the image before it disappeared, as Snapchat photos eventually do. Police confronted Morton at his home and found a 9mm and a discharged casing. Morton later confessed to the murder.

    According to the Review, Morton is being charged as an adult.

    Image via Maurizio Pesce, Flickr Creative Commons

  • Googles.com Is Looking For Equity Partners

    Yes, you read that right.

    I can’t say I’ve ever heard of this one, but apparently Google reached a settlement with Googles.com at one point. This was, according to Googles.com, a registered domain name before the days of Google.com.

    A random press release came out today from Googles.com, talking about how it’s looking for partners. On the site, it says:

    Googles.com (Not Affiliated with Google) in a continuing effort to redesign it’s existing children’s website is seeking equity partners/content providers to help develop and/or fund the relaunch of its children’s website. The googles.com domain name was registered before Google.com and the opportunity to develop the children’s website utilizing the domain name googles.com is permitted pursuant to a settlement agreement with Google.

    In an effort to achieve a greater children’s audience, Googles.com is seeking equity partners/content providers for this important market.

    So I guess stay on the look out for Googles! Perhaps we’ll get a look at some content in 2015.

    It’s unclear what the terms of the settlement were.

    Image via Googles.com

  • Woman Who Met Mother on Facebook, Murdered Her, and Stole Her Baby Gets Life

    A 31-year-old Texas woman will spend the rest of her life in prison after pleading guilty to a crime involving Facebook, kidnapping, and murder.

    Adriana Lisa Castillo Perez has been given life without the possibility of parole for the murder of Leslie Escobar Perez and subsequent kidnapping of her baby, two-week old Abcde Perez.

    According to Amarillo Globe-News, Adriana Perez first met her victim on Facebook, in a group dedicated to buying and selling baby items. She apparently saw a post from Leslie Perez, who was gushing about her new baby.

    A. Perez reportedly contacted L. Perez and offered her free clothing and a crib – and the two planned to meet at L. Perez’s home.

    The Amarillo Globe picks it up from there:

    The two arranged to meet at Leslie Perez’s home on December 23, where authorities said Adriana Perez stabbed her multiple times and fled with Abcde.

    Authorities found Leslie Perez outside the home where she had crawled after being stabbed.

    “She … fought for her life,” McDonough said. “She fought for that baby.”

    A neighbor reported a strange vehicle had been at the family’s home earlier in the day. The neighbor described the vehicle to police and authorities broadcast an alert to nearby law enforcement agencies.

    Adriana Perez was stopped as she drove to Pampa by a Gray County Sheriff’s deputy later that night. She had the infant and the murder weapon in her possession, McDonough said. Abcde had not been injured.

    It’s hard to find a silver lining in a story as screwed up at this one – but the fact that Abcde was so young at the time of the crime means that she won’t remember it. The victim’s family is reportedly content with the sentence.

    Image via Thinkstock

  • Googler Arrested in Nude Photo Extortion Scheme

    The FBI has arrested an “Internal Technology Resident” at Google after he allegedly obtained nude photos of a Texas college student by way of a Gmail scam and subsequently used them in an attempt to extort more nude photos.

    23-year-old Nicholas Rotundo has been charged with three felonies – two for cyberstalking and one for computer intrusion. He faces up to 11 years in prison.

    Authorities paint a pretty bizarre picture of Rotundo’s scheme. According to police, he obtained the original nude photos by way of an email scam. Apparently Rotundo posed as a researcher operating a “breast perception study.”

    From The Smoking Gun:

    In a series of e-mails sent to the victim, Rotundo claimed to be conducting a “breast perception study,” a research project that “involved the public’s perception of different breast types.” Candidates, he initially wrote, were “required to submit nude photographs of their breasts in order to be considered for participation in the study,” which paid $4500. The sender’s name on the e-mails from breastperceptionstudy@gmail.com was “Women Study.”

    According to court documents, at least a few women fell for the scam. The Texas student at the heart of the case sent four nude photos to Rotundo after he upped the ‘offer’ to $8,500.

    More from Smoking Gun:

    Five weeks after sending the naked photos, [the victim] received an ominous e-mail from a new address, widgerword@gmail.com. The sender, “John Smarting,” claimed to have “stumbled across” her naked photos, images that he claimed, “I would hate for anybody else to see.”

    Attached to the January 26 e-mail was one of the nude images, which “Smarting” said he forwarded “for reference.” Referring to a distinctive piece of jewelry seen in the photo, “Smarting” stated, “Wearing that necklace really hurt plausible deniability.”

    “Hope you’re having a good Sunday! I’ve stumbled across some pictures of you. The type that I would hate for anybody else to see, and I can make sure that nobody else does. However, I’m gonna need you to help me fill out the set. Could you help me?” read one of the emails.

    Rotundo went on to demand images like “1 in-focus, high-resolution photo of your feet” and “1 in-focus, high-resolution photo of your pussy, with something inserted.”

    He threatened to release her nude photos online if she failed to comply.

    During their investigation, the FBI found that the Texas student wasn’t the only woman Rotundo allegedly violated.

    Additionally, other e-mails contained attachments “with the keystroke activity of two female victims as well as periodic photographs of those two victims taken surreptitiously via the web cameras of their laptops.” In subsequent law enforcement interviews, the two victims both said that they had once provided their computers to Rotundo “after he had agreed to fix issues they were having with their laptops.”

    According to officials, Rotundo made no real attempts to cover his tracks, and was relatively easy to locate once they received the complaint. I think it’s safe to say that his days at Google are over.

    Image via Thinkstock

  • Florida Bus Crash Involves School Bus, Naked Woman

    Car crashes happen every day all over the world and are so common that the majority of them do not even make local headlines. There are exceptions, of course. Someone like Jennifer Lopez being rear-ended is bound to make the tabloids. Also, Florida. Florida is always an exception.

    On Monday a log truck slammed into the back of a school bus in Starke, Florida. According to a Florida Times-Union report a chaotic scene involving children crying and a naked woman lying nearby played out as rescue workers arrived at the crash site.

    A Bradford County, Florida sheriff told the Times-Union that some children were trapped on the bus when he arrived. The sheriff also stated that the injured, naked woman appeared to have been thrown from the truck during the crash.

    Fifteen children were aboard the bus when the crash occurred and seven were taken to the hospital for injuries. Three adults were also injured in the crash – the bus driver, the truck driver, and the naked woman (later determined to be the truck driver’s wife). No one died as a result of the crash.

    What exactly caused the crash has not yet been determined. The most intriguing question surrounding the incident – why the woman was naked – has also not yet been determined.

    According to the Times-Union report the crash occurred at a school bus stop on U.S. 301 on Monday afternoon while the bus was dropping off elementary school students. It was raining at the time and some parents were waiting at the bus stop. The bus driver saw the truck speeding toward the bus and hit the accelerator before the crash, mitigating some of the impact. Even so, the truck slammed into the bus without breaking, pushing it about 40 yards into a field by the road. Witnesses told the newspaper that the truck’s engine became dislodged as the truck jacknifed into a ditch.

    The Times-Union has since reported that the truck had been stopped and inspected in Nassau County at around noon on Monday. Authorities had been alerted that the log truck, which was not carrying a load, was driving recklessly.

  • Uber Driver Reportedly Smashed a Passenger’s Head with a Hammer

    It’s Monday, and on-demand car service Uber is facing another PR nightmare after a driver in San Francisco allegedly smashed a passenger in the side of the head with a hammer.

    The incident happened last week, and the San Francisco Chronicle first reported it on Friday. According to police, 26-year-old Patrick Karajah has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon and battery with serious bodily injury. There may also be an attempted murder charge forthcoming.

    Here’s what went down, according to the Chronicle:

    Karajah allegedly picked up the victim and his two friends from a bar at about 2 a.m. Tuesday. While driving the two men and one woman to their destination, he got into a dispute with the victim over the route he was taking, according to court documents.

    Karajah, who was driving for the basic UberX service, stopped near the intersection of Ellsworth Street and Alemany Boulevard and forced the victim and his friends to get out, according to documents.

    Once the victim was out of the vehicle, Karajah struck him on the side of his head with a hammer, and then drove away, authorities said.

    The victim was found “slipping in and out of consciousness on the sidewalk, suffering from severe fractures and trauma to the head.”

    “We stand ready to assist authorities in any investigation,” said Uber in a statement. Uber confirms it has terminated the driver’s account.

    As Uber, as well as other competing companies like Lyft, face challenges from state regulators over the legality of their business models, safety issues have also arisen at an alarming rate. You may remember earlier this year when an Uber driver was accused of sexual assault in D.C. That wasn’t the first instance of an Uber driver reportedly attacking a passenger. In July, an Uber driver took riders on a high-speed chase, again in DC. Then in June, an Uber driver reportedly kidnapped a drunk woman and took her to a motel, where he slept with her in the room and “fondled her over her clothes and suggested he wanted to have sex, but didn’t force it.”

    As I’ve said before, attacks aren’t just an Uber problem – regular old taxis have their share of incidents on the record. But Uber, and companies like it, rely on the schtick that they a cut above taking a taxi – an easier and safer option. So when an Uber driver beats someone in the skull with a hammer it’s a pretty big blow to its credibility.

    But stories like this don’t seem to be hampering Uber’s growth too much. According to reports from the city itself, ridesharing services like Uber and Lyft are killing the taxi business in San Francisco.

    Image via Uber, Facebook

  • Woman Gets Third Boob, Will Need Custom Bras for Life

    A woman in Florida has decided that she doesn’t want to date anymore. While some people would shut down their Facebook account or delete the Tinder app from their phone, message therapist Jasmine Tridevil decided to kill her dating life by getting a third boob.

    Yep, you read that right–a woman got a third boob implanted because she was tired of dating. Jasmine Tridevil found a plastic surgeon that was willing, and $20,000 later, she now has a silicone implant in between her other two boobs.

    Check out the woman with the third boob below.

    In case you’re thinking about getting a third boob (or a third anything, for that matter), don’t think such a task will be as easy as going to the clinic for Botox injections or collagen lip treatments. Jasmine Tridevil had a heck of a time finding a plastic surgeon that didn’t believe giving a woman a third boob violated medical ethics.

    “I called 50 doctors. It was really hard finding someone that would do it too because they’re breaking the code of ethics,” Tridevil said during an interview on Real Radio 104.1.

    Making things even more difficult, Tridevil wasn’t able to get a silicone nipple during the procedure. She had to have the nipple tattooed on the breast, which was surely a first for that tattoo artist. On the plus side, that tattooed nipple might help Tridevil out as far as her reason for getting the third boob goes.

    “I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” Tridevil said. “Most guys would think [the extra breast is] weird and gross.”

    As you likely suspected, Tridevil’s parents aren’t taking the third boob too well. “My mom ran out the door. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad…he really isn’t happy. He is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it,” she said.

    See more of the third boob below.

  • Woman Beaten by Angry Taco Bell Breakfast Seekers

    Much to the delight of people who hear ‘waffle taco’ and think ‘perfect start to my day’, Taco Bell began offering breakfast back in March. Thanks, in part, to a social media blitz and marijuana, probably, Taco Bell breakfast got off to a fast start. In the past couple of weeks, the company has even expanded its breakfast menu to include more items, like the biscuit taco – which is exactly what you think it is. McDonald’s isn’t in danger of losing its fast food breakfast crown or anything, but it’s clear that people love their Taco Bell.

    Now, police in Tucson are saying that Taco Bell breakfast – or rather the lack of it – is at the center of a brutal attack this past Sunday.

    A woman (called ‘Jane’ for anonymity) stopped at Taco Bell around 10:30ish on Sunday, hoping to get some lunch. After completing her order and pulling away, a nightmare began.

    I’ll let KGUN9 in Tucson pick up the story from here.

    “And within seconds I hear someone laying on the horn,” she said.

    It was the SUV and the couple behind her in line. Soon they were alongside her.

    “And there’s a black male hanging out the window and he yells, ‘You f*cking bitch,’” she said

    As Jane dialed 9-1-1 she lost sight of the SUV and pulled onto a side street, where they were waiting. With a rock the man broke Jane’s driver side window.

    “He then used that rock and hit me on the left side of my head by my ear and punched me in my mouth and nose,” she said.

    The beating left jane with a broken nose and broken teeth.

    According to KGUN, detectives believe that the motivation for the seemingly random crime is Taco Bell breakfast and timing. Apparently, while Jane was completing her order, Taco Bell switched from their breakfast to lunch menu – preventing the people in the SUV from getting the waffle tacos they so desired.

    Police have yet to find the attackers. On a related note, I think I’m going to go back to bed.

    Image via Taco Bell, Facebook

  • We Need to Talk About the TSA’s Batsh*t Insane Instagram Account

    No, I don’t want to talk about how you feel about the TSA. I know the TSA harasses old ladies and makes cute little children cry. I know the TSA probably touched your wiener one time and you really hated it. I know the TSA is a constant reminder of the US’ heavy-handed and short-sighted response to the terrible events of 9/11. I know all of this.

    I want to talk about the TSA’s Instagram account, and more specifically, the absolutely insane shit people try to take on airplanes.

    Maybe you didn’t even know the TSA had an Instagram account. I mean, why would you? Who wants to follow a government agency on Instagram – it sounds worse than being Facebook friends with your inappropriate and constantly embarrassing great aunt. But the TSA does have an Instagram account, and you should follow it, because it’s goddamn amazing.

    We first told you about the TSA’s then-nascent account back in July of 2013. I think it’s high time to check in on…

    HOLY SHIT! Sais? Shukos? My heavens, I up and almost had myself a spell!

    Save the occasional dog photo, the TSA’s Instagram account is entirely devoted to snapshots of stuff taken away from people at checkpoints. You know, like smoke grenades…

    And hatchets…

    And knuckle knives…

    And grenades stuffed in penguins…

    And knives hidden in grandma’s walker…

    And stun canes…

    And shoe-knives…

    And samurai swords…

    And utility blades stuck inside Scooby Doo greeting cards…

    And whatever the f*ck this is…

    And of course, guns, guns, guns…

    And loaded guns…

    And oh look, a knife-gun!

    The TSA says that last year alone, they confiscated 1,477 loaded guns in carry-ons. Loaded guns. Guns that have been loaded. Guns that are loaded and can be fired. At people. On planes.

    I can understand that every once in a while, someone’s gonna have a brain fart and forget they’re packing a dozen or so knuckle knives in their backpack. It happens. But for everyone else, who clearly knew what they were doing (I’m looking at you, grenade penguin guy), I don’t really know what to say.

    Well, except what the f*ck?

    Image via TSA, Instagram

  • Dumb Sexting Case Gets Even Dumber As Cops Try to Photograph Teen’s Erect Penis

    The Manassas City Police Department and Prince William County prosecutors would like to combat child porn by creating some of their own.

    The Washington Post reports on some real messed up stuff going on in Virginia as a 17-year-old boy is facing charges of possession of child pornography and manufacturing child pornography for simply sexting his 15-year-old girlfriend (after she sexted him first). Mind you, these charges could not only jail the teen but land him on a sex offender database for the rest of his life. The girl has not been charged.

    I guess I could stop there, but the dumb continues.

    According to the unidentified teen’s lawyer, police and prosecutors are seeking a warrant to photograph his erect penis – you know, for comparison’s sake.

    “We just take him down to the hospital, give him a shot and then take the pictures that we need,” a state prosecutor reportedly told the teen’s attorney.

    This genius plan was first offered as part of an ultimatum – either the teen pleads guilty or they take him down to the hospital and snap photos of his erect penis. Apparently, the teen denied to plead guilty and the strong arm of the law jumped into action. The search warrant was granted earlier this month, but the teen was given permission to leave the state with his family before it could be executed. He has another court date on July 15.

    “They’re using a statute that was designed to protect children from being exploited in a sexual manner to take a picture of this young man in a sexually explicit manner. The irony is incredible.” said the teen’s appointed guardian. “As a parent myself, I was floored. It’s child abuse. We’re wasting thousands of dollars and resources and man hours on a sexting case. That’s what we’re doing.”

    Yeah, ya think?

    While the boner pic warrant is ridiculous, let’s quickly comment on how utterly astounding it is that authorities are going after teens’ sexting activities with such vigor, labeling young children as sex offenders for engaging in normal sexual activity. That’s the real travesty here.

    “The prosecutor’s job is to seek justice,” said the teen’s lawyer “What is just about this? How does this advance the interest of the Commonwealth?”

    Well, it doesn’t. Write your congressperson.

  • 12-Year-Old Slender Man Devotees Stab Girl 19 Times

    Two twelve-year-old Waukesha, Wisconsin girls have been charged as adults with attempted murder after stabbing a classmate 19 times in an attempt to appease internet folk monster Slenderman.

    For those unfamiliar with Slenderman, he’s a fictional character created in forums five or so years ago. Usually, Slenderman is depicted as a strangely tall, thin man with a blank, white face and a black suit. In his original creation, he was said to stalk and snatch people–especially children. The Slender Man went viral, and began to appear as a character in stories all over the internet–but the largest concentration appears on the online horror fiction site Creepypasta. Since then, Slender Man has popped up in various games and other online collections.

    Basically, Slenderman is an internet legend. But to two clearly troubled pre-teens, he is much more.

    The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel weaves a thoroughly disturbing tale of two young girls, whose devotion to and fear of Slenderman led them to try to kill a friend–after “months” of planning.

    According to the criminal complaint, the two girls originally wanted to kill their victim during a sleepover at one of their houses. That plan eventually morphed into one that involved killing her in a bathroom nearby a skate park. One of the accused said that she “knew there was a drain in the floor for the blood to go down.”

    After than plan didn’t work out (reports indicate one of the girls got cold feet), the two girls lured their victim into the woods for a game of “hide and seek.”

    From the Sentinel:

    W—- then suggested they go for a walk, pointing out a wooded area near Rivera Drive and Big Bend Road. They could play hide and seek, distract the victim, then kill her. G—- was the first “seeker,” and W—- and the victim hid. W—- told the victim where to hide and told her to lie facedown in the dirt. The girl refused. W—- then pushed the victim and sat on her, thinking G—- could stab her. But the victim began to yell and complain that she couldn’t breathe. She was attracting attention, so W—- got off her.

    Geyser gave W—- the knife, but W—- said she told G—- she was too squeamish and gave it back.

    W—- said that once G—- got the knife back, G—- told W—-, “I’m not going to until you tell me to.” W—- said she started walking away from G—- and then told her, “Go ballistic, go crazy.” G—- said she would go ballistic, and W—- said, “Now.”

    W—- said G—- then tackled the victim and started stabbing her. The victim was screaming. W—- said when G—- got off the victim, the victim screamed, “I hate you. I trusted you.”

    Jesus.

    The girls reportedly told police that they wanted to kill their classmate as an offering or sorts to Slenderman, to “prove themselves worthy.” They also said that the thought killing their classmate would protect them and their families from Slenderman, who would then invite him to his mansion in the woods.

    More from The Sentinel:

    G—- said they had to do it or “he would kill our family.” When asked who “he” was, G—- said she didn’t know him. When asked what she was trying to do when she stabbed her friend, G—- said, “I may as well just say it: Kill her.”

    When asked about Slender Man, G—- said she had never met him but said he watches her and he can read minds and teleport. G—- said what she did was “probably wrong.” She asked a detective if it is illegal to stab someone in self-defense. The detective said sometimes, and asked her if that was what happened in this instance.

    No, she said.

    Both girls are facing up to 65 years in prison. Miraculously, the victim was able to walk out of the woods after being stabbed 19 times and was eventually found by a passing bicyclist. She’s currently in stable condition.

    Claiming to have already received calls for “censorship and the shutdown of the wiki,” Creepypasta admin Sloshedtrain has posted a blog entry where they discuss the line between fiction and reality.

    “This is an isolated incident, and does represent or attribute the Creepypasta community as a whole. This wiki does not endorse or advocate for killing, worship, and otherwise replication of rituals of fictional works. There is a line of between fiction and reality, and it is up to you to realize where the line is. We are a literature site, not a satanic cult,” says the post.

    “Of course, only a small minority of people (mostly newcomers) on the wiki (and the Internet) truly believe what they read here. And for most people, they will not attempt replicate atrocities presented in some of the literature on the wiki. Something like this was bound to happen, considering the size of Creepypasta community. All it take is one person to do something insane and radical in the name of someone or something.”

    This was clearly a horrible, screwed up thing that happened in Waukesha. And as this story continues to spread, it’s important that that horrible, screwed up thing cannot be blamed on a website or a video game.

    Image via Wikimedia Commons

  • If You Drop Your Phone in a Septic Tank, Just Let It Go Man

    As a 28-year-old whose screws up a lot, I in no way feel qualified to dispense life advice on most topics. Having said that, I feel pretty confident in issuing this one small token of advice:

    If you drop your smartphone in an open-pit toilet, just let it go, man, it’s lost.

    In fact, if you drop anything into an open-pit toilet–just forget about it. The only exception to that rule is if you were to drop a loved one, possibly a pet or small child, into the giant vat of poop–and even then I’d probably think twice about it.

    Two people are dead and one is reported as unconscious after six grown adults in China jumped in an open-air septic tank looking to retrieve a lost phone.

    According to the AFP a women dropped her $200 smartphone into the poo pit, and her husband immediately went in after it. When the smell hit him, he passed out. His mother then jumped in (after her son, not the phone I assume) and also proceeded to faint.

    The owner of the phone and her father-in-law followed the two down the one-meter sq. hole and reportedly “became ill” (you think?).

    It didn’t stop there, as two neighbors then jumped in as well.

    People in the town were forced to use ropes to retrieve all six from the toilet tank. Horribly, two were dead (the husband and his mother) and one (the phone-owner) was left seriously injured.

    As we head into the weekend, it’s important to remember than no matter how much you paid for a device, you should draw the line at poop retrievals. Also, in a related piece of life advice, also avoid oncoming trains.

    Image via Thinkstock

  • Teen Murders Parents for ‘Taking Away His iPod and Stuff’

    Here’s a chilling, sad, and ridiculous story out of Norfolk, Virginia.

    And otherwise well-balanced high school sophomore has pleaded guilty to two counts of second-degree murder after he beat and stabbed both of his parents to death. The reason?

    “I just remember getting mad. It’s all from my dad. All this stuff like my dad taking away my iPod and stuff.”

    WTKR reports that 16-year-old Vincent Parker waited for his mother to come out of the bathroom, sprayed her with pepper spray, stabbed her in the eye with a knife, and beat her to death with a baseball bat. It was a particularly brutal killing, as Parker’s mother Carol had at least 25 different “smashes and stabs” to her head and neck region.

    The brutality doesn’t stop there, however, as Parker waited for his dad to come home, hit him with a crowbar, and then stabbed him as well. According to police, Wayne Parker held on long enough to clue them in on what had just happened.

    RT reports that Parker maintained a very active online presence, but never expressed any ill will toward his parents. State psychiatrists who examined the young boy found him to be both intelligent and sane. He’ll be sentenced, as an adult, in September.