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Tag: shark week

  • Sharks Are Trying to Eat Your Internet

    Here’s a scary shark week story for you.

    Under the sea, there is internet – or at least the internet’s transport system. Ok, so let’s go with ‘internet’.

    Anyway, there are around 200 fiber optic cables in this undersea network that transports data across the world. Last year alone, these submarine cables carried 51 billion gigabytes per month. Long story short, these are some very important cables.

    Apparently, that fate of the world’s internet isn’t a primary concern of the ocean’s scariest predators. According to Google, asshole sharks are trying to eat their cables.

    At a Google Cloud Roadshow event in Boston, Google Cloud product manager Dan Belcher said that Google has had to reinforce their fiber optic cables with a Kevlar-like material, because sharks keep trying to eat them.

    Sharks are chomping at underwater fiber optics cables y’all, this is serious.

    As Network World points out, it’s probably our fault. The electrical emissions from the cables might be tricking the sharks into thinking they’ve found their next lunch.

    Apparently, living creatures aren’t the only things that need to watch out for sharks. Come on, sharks, take Bruce’s advice – cables are friends, not food!

    Image via Wikimedia Commons

  • Roomba Cat-Shark More Believable Than Shark Week?

    The Roomba has a history of being a Jetsons-like household appliance for overworked people who don’t have the time or inclination to vacuum.

    It also has a history of providing great belly laughs and lots of “awwww!” when people decide to put small animals on the tops of the robot cleaners and watch them ride around the kitchen floor.

    Now, the Roomba and the cat in a shark suit have come together in a delightful celebration of Shark Week on the Discovery channel! While this is a charming feast for the eyes, most don’t actually think that there is a cat-shark in someone’s kitchen here to terrorize the world.

    Nor do they believe in much of the garbage being peddled on the Discovery channel this week…

    Those of the scientific world might say that a cat in a shark costume on a Roomba is more believable than Air Jaws: Fin of Fury and Shark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine. It all started with Megalodon: The Monster Shark That Lives last year. Then it kinda went downhill from there.

    David Shiffman, a shark expert at the University of Miami’s Abess Center for Ecosystem Science and Policy, said of last year’s special,

    “If this megalodon special had aired on the Syfy Channel, I probably would have loved it,” he said. “But Discovery bills itself as the premier science education television station in the world and they’re perpetuating this utter nonsense.”

    That probably hurt a little. Like a Roomba hitting your foot while your cat rides it in a shark suit.

    Science writer Brian Switek also gave a similar opinion recently. He said of Shark Week,

    “Discovery built its reputation with science programming. Shark Week was always a high point… But now Discovery is a joke, with the megalodon fiasco only being a confirmation of what has been clear for some time.”

    Discovery had better straighten up or next year’s Shark Week could be a total bust.

    Image via YouTube

  • Tara Reid Thinks Whale Sharks Came From Whale/Shark Mating

    Tara Reid, star of “Sharknado”, appeared on Discovery’s “Shark After Dark” this week, and because she didn’t want to sound dumb when talking about the animals–which have been the focus of the channel’s programming during Shark Week–she did some research. Unfortunately, in revealing her research, she also revealed her ignorance of basic science.

    “Today, all right, I was, like, ‘I don’t wanna, like, really sound stupid when I do this show today, so I learned a little education on sharks. I look up sharks on the Internet and I’m, like, ‘whale sharks,’ and I’m, like, oh, that must mean a whale and a shark have sex. And then I think, ‘Well, how does a whale and a shark have sex? There’s a thing called whale sharks, so I thought they must, you know. And then I realized that whales are mammals and sharks are animals — they have nothing to do with each other,” she said as the audience laughed.

    Reid appeared on the show along with her “Sharknado” co-star, Ian Ziering, after the huge success of the film on SyFy. There’s been talk of a sequel already, but a rumor is going around that Reid won’t be reprising her role as April. However, Reid took to Twitter to shoot down the rumor.


  • Discovery Channel’s Fake Documentary Upsets Viewers

    This week is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel and many viewers are upset about the fake documentary that was shown about the ancient giant shark Megalodon, called “Megalodon: The Monster Shark That Lives”.

    The documentary is a two-hour special discussing the possible return of a giant prehistoric shark thought to have been extinct for over two million years. Megalodon was believed to be three times the length of the great white shark, and ten times the mass.

    The Discovery Channel released a statement from Shark Week’s Executive Producer, Michael Sorensen, to the Orlando Sentinel and several other media sources:

    With a whole week of Shark Week programming ahead of us, we wanted to explore the possibilities of Megalodon. It’s one of the most debated shark discussions of all time, can Megalodon exist today? It’s Ultimate Shark Week fantasy. The stories have been out there for years and with 95% of the ocean unexplored, who really knows?

    Even though viewers are furious that the “the world’s #1 nonfiction media company”, would air a documentary with false information, “Megalodon: The Monster Shark That Lives” had 4.8 million viewers and a 2.6 rating with adults 25-54, and has been named the biggest Shark Week episode to date.

    Celebrity Will Wheaton said: “I care about education. I care about science. I care about inspiring people to learn about the world and universe around us. Sharks are fascinating, and megalodon was an absolutely incredible creature! Discovery had a chance to get its audience thinking about what the oceans were like when megalodon roamed and hunted in them. It had a chance to even show what could possibly happen if there were something that large and predatory in the ocean today … but Discovery Channel did not do that. In a cynical ploy for ratings, the network deliberately lied to its audience and presented fiction as fact. Discovery Channel betrayed its audience.”

    There was a short disclaimer at the end of the episode that said: None of the institutions or agencies that appear in the film are affiliated with it in any way, nor have approved its contents. Though certain events and characters in this film have been dramatized, sightings of “Submarine” continue to this day. Megalodon was a real shark. Legends of giant sharks persist all over the world. There is still a debate about what they may be.

  • Shark Week 2013 Gets an Incredible, Brutal Ad

    R.I.P Snuffy the seal. You died a brutal, terrifying, amazing death for the sole purpose of getting all of us hyped about Shark Week.

    Discovery has unveiled an incredible new advertisement for Shark Week, the channel’s week-long celebration of all things shark. First broadcast way back in 1987, Shark Week is now shown in over 72 countries. Shark Week 2013 kicks of August 4th.

    Which leads me back to Snuffy the seal. Sorry, bro. That had to hurt.