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Tag: LOL

  • Facebook Is Surprisingly LOL-Deficient

    Facebook has a lot of data it can comb through, if it so pleases. The latest dive into what people are doing looks into how people laugh on the social network.

    And the biggest shock, at least to me, is how little LOLing is going on.

    Here’s a pie chart of how people express laughter on Facebook. The company took data from one week in May to make this, and it covers the 15% of people who used some variation of “haha” “hehe” “lol” or a laughter emoji at least once in that week.

    Screen Shot 2015-08-07 at 11.35.58 AM

    “Haha” clearly dominates, and “lol” is only used in 1.9% of laughter expressions.

    There’s also a clear gender breakdown on how people laugh on Facebook.

    “Both men and women like their hahas and emoji, followed by hehes and lols. The hahas and to some extent the hehes are preferred by men, whereas emoji are clearly dominated by women, who also seem to like the lols a bit more than men,” says Facebook’s Data Science team.

    Screen Shot 2015-08-07 at 11.39.11 AM

    And there are regional differences, as well.

    “The maps broadly show that haha and hehe are more popular on the west coast, emoji are the weapon of choice in the midwest, and southern states are fond of lol. Presidential campaigns, take note: the battleground states of Ohio and Virginia are haha states, while the candidates’ emoji games will surely be key in determining who emerges victorious in Florida.”

    Screen Shot 2015-08-07 at 11.39.26 AM

    The whole thing is pretty interesting, and you can check it out here.

  • Obama Joins the Rest of Twitter in Telling the New York Times to GTFO with This Peas in Guac Insanity

    Obama Joins the Rest of Twitter in Telling the New York Times to GTFO with This Peas in Guac Insanity

    At 1:51 pm ET on Wednesday, July 1st, The New York Times suggested to Twitter that they add green peas to their guacamole. The paper of record told us to trust them.

    The recipe, by Melissa Clark, is about 90% your basic guac recipe – complete with cilantro, avocado, lime (juice and zest, of course), and jalapeno (debatable). But it also involves pureed peas, as well as a whole pea garnish.

    Let’s be clear – this isn’t a food crime. Ok, it might be a food crime, but without making this myself I’m pretty sure this would taste fine. The peas would add sweetness, but it would probably taste like most guacamole you’ve had in your lifetime.

    Anyway, Twitter lost its collective shit.

    This goes on forever, by the way.

    The NYT lost the President, too.

    The woman responsible has spoken:

    I’d say this is the next “The Dress”, but it looks to be pretty one-sided.

  • Everyman Cited After Putting 8 Bullets in His Crappy Computer

    In a totally relatable move, a Colorado man took his underperforming computer into an alley behind his house and pumped its guts full of lead.

    Unfortunately for our hero everyman, that’s not exactly legal.

    Colorado Springs Police say that 37-year-old Lucas Hinch was cited for discharging a firearm within city limits – which is against the law in Colorado Springs.

    “Man Kills His Computer,” reads the official summary. “Officers responded to shots fired in the alley of 2200 W Colorado Av. Investigation revealed a resident was fed up with fighting his computer for the last several months. He took the computer into the back alley and fired 8 shots into the computer with a handgun, effectively disabling it.”

    Man executes his computer in alley behind his home. Cited for discharging a firearm in city PB #21312 http://ow.ly/oWQcN

    Posted by Colorado Springs Police Department on Tuesday, April 21, 2015

    Any regrets, Mr. Hinch? Hell no!

    “It was glorious. Angels sung on high,” he told the LA Times. “It was premeditated, oh, definitely. I made sure there wasn’t anything behind it and nothing to ricochet.”

    You never know when the next blue screen of death will push you over the edge.

    Police took his gun, and he has to go to court to face a possible fine – but at least he’s in better shape than his old Dell. But next time you want to destroy a crappy machine, just opt for the Office Space technique.

    Image via Colorado Springs Police Department, Facebook

  • Snoop Dogg Pic Lands Texas Trooper in Hot Water

    It doesn’t matter who you are – if you see Snoop, you’re going to want to get a picture with Snoop.

    But beware: if you work for the Texas Department of Public Safety, it could get you in a little bit of trouble.

    A DPS trooper has been reprimanded and ordered into counseling after a photo of him and “known criminal” Snoop Dogg popped up on the rapper’s Instagram a couple of weeks ago.

    “Me n my deputy dogg,” reads the photo caption, which doesn’t mention officer Billy Spears by name.

    Me n my deputy dogg

    A photo posted by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on

    Apparently it didn’t matter, as The Dallas Morning News obtained a copy of the official reprimand.

    “While working a secondary employment job, Trooper Spears took a photo with a public figure who has a well-known criminal background including numerous drug charges. The public figure posted the photo on social media and it reflects poorly on the Agency,” said the memo from the Texas DPS.

    The Department of Public Safety has issued an official statement on the matter:

    “DPS does not typically discuss or release specifics of personnel issues unless they result in disciplinary action as outlined in Government Code 411.00755 and 411.0072. Supervisors counsel and coach employees on a regular basis, and these efforts do not constitute formal discipline by the department.”

    Spears’ attorney says that he’s calling attention to the matter because trooper Spears lacks any proper recourse.

    “It’s weird; it’s nuts and we’re waiting on DPS to explain itself,” he said. “Everyone keeps asking me if this is an April fool’s joke. I say ‘no, I promise it’s not.’”

    Long story short, DPS has no chill.

    Image via Snoop Dogg, Instagram

  • Burglary Suspect Snapchats That He’s Hiding in a Cabinet, Police Find Him Hiding in a Cabinet

    LOL the police are searching my house and I’m hiding in the cabinet don’t tell them haha 😉

    That’s probably not the exact message 24-year-old Christopher Wallace sent on Snapchat, but it could’ve been.

    Wallace has been arrested and charged after police tracked his location thanks to a series of Snapchat posts he made. Wallace had been wanted by police for some time in connection to a recent burglary. Somerset County, Maine police asked the community to help find Wallace, and they did – by alerting police to a series of Snapchat stories he posted while on the run.

    From the Somerset County Sheriff’s Office:

    Last night, using the Snapchat app, Wallace posted that he was at his house in Fairfield, which prompted people to call the Sheriff’s Office. Corporal Ritchie Putnam, Deputy Ron Blodgett (from our agency), and two officers from Fairfield Police Department went to the residence. They were given permission to search the house, and initially they did not find Wallace. Here’s where things went bad for him…While the deputies/officers were wrapping up their search, Wallace posted again on Snapchat. This time he posted that the police were searching for him in the house, and that he was hiding in a cabinet. Again, we received phone calls. A search of the kitchen cabinets turned up some food, some pots and pans, and also a pair of feet. The pair of feet just so happened to be attached to a person, and that person was Christopher Wallace. He was removed from the cabinet, and placed under arrest. All of that, brings me to the moral of the story. Always remain humble, my friends.

    Sometimes the only response, however lazy, is just lol.

    Police arrested a woman at the scene as well, for lying to police when they asked her if anyone was in the house.

    Good morning. How are you? I'm fine. Thank you for asking.The big news of the morning is…Christopher Wallace was…

    Posted by Somerset County Sheriff's Office on Monday, March 23, 2015

    Once again, lol.

    Image via Somerset County Sheriff’s Office

  • House Candidate Promises He’ll Never Embarrass You with Dick Pics

    If you’re sick and tired of your New York congressmen showing off a little too much skin because they’re pretty bad at the internet, Daniel Donovan says he’s your man because he doesn’t even know how to get naked on the internet.

    Donovan is the Staten Island District Attorney, and he’s also the Republican candidate in the special election to replace ousted 11th district congressman Michael Grimm. Speaking to the Brooklyn South Conservative Club earlier this week, Donovan had a promise for anyone who would put him in office:

    I’ll never embarrass you with dick pics. Via New York Observer:

    “I think people go down there, they get Washington-ized, they forget that three-quarters of a million people sent them down there to represent them. That’s why they call it the House of Representatives: you are a representative of the people in your community and I will make you proud,” he said. “I will never embarrass you. I’ve run four times, I’ve been vetted up and down, there’s nothing in my background that’s going to embarrass you. And I am too old to know how to put a naked photograph of myself on the Internet.”

    Why would he even bring this up?

    Well, you might recall that the state of New York has a bit of an issue with male politicians and their wieners. You probably remember Anthony Weiner, who’s actual wiener got him in big trouble in 2011. You might also remember Christopher Lee from New York’s 26th, who also resigned in 2011 after shirtless photos that he used to solicit a woman on Craigslist emerged.

    Donovan is the frontrunner in the race to replace Grimm, who resigned his seat last December after pleading guilty to felony tax fraud.

  • Let a Basketball Teach You Why You Should Put Down Your Damn Phone

    We’re all glued to our devices at all times. It’s just the way the world works now. Ted Cruz is likely running for President, Miley Cyrus has more Twitter followers than any heads of state, and your teenage daughter is going to be Snapchatting at the dinner table. These are just realties, however painful, that we all must accept.

    But still, let this serve as a cautionary tale – a plea from the universe to occasionally put away your phone and look at what’s in front of you.

    Because you never know what’s going to be in front of you. I mean, really close to you. RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

    What you just watched is two women at a Charlotte Hornets game who happened to score some pretty sweet seats, but are still unable to put away the smartphone. You watch one of them suffer the ultimate price.

    Ouch.

  • Everyone Must Get a Selfie with This Gold Van Double Parked at a Walmart

    In Maricopa, Arizona, there’s a new local celebrity.

    It’s not a person, but an old, gold van that’s terribly parked in the local Walmart parking lot. For some reason, the golden Oldsmobile Silhouette is the must-selfie location of the year.

    There’s even a 500+ member Facebook group devoted to discussing and posting selfies with the van.

    “This group was made for the infamous ‘Gold Van’ parked at our local Wal-mart. This van has been double parked, in the same prime parking spots for about two weeks now. There has been multiple facebook posts made on various Maricopa facebook pages in regards to this van. Since this van is so ‘locally famous’ now, of course we HAVE to get a selfie with it!!!” says the group’s description.

    Post by Jenny Radigan.

    According to AZ Central, the van was recently abandoned in the Walmart parking lot near State Route 238 and Porter Road. Since then, it’s become a thing for resident of Maricopa to go take selfies with it. Nobody knows to whom it belongs, or how long it’ll stay double parked at Walmart.

    As it stands, there are hundreds of selfies with the van. Small town America is truly incredible.

    Image via Walmarts Golden Van Selfie, Facebook

  • Fox News Defends the Homeland, Copies Bioshock Infinite Logo

    Bioshock Infinite, the third installment of the Bioshock series, was released to nearly universal acclaim in 2013. The game, widely regarded as a return to glory for the series after a bit of a stumble on Bioshock 2, has entered the pop culture lexicon with its striking visual design and compelling storyline.

    Much of the action in Bioshock Infinite takes place in Columbia, a pseudo-Christian “utopian” society where racism (the white supremacy type) and classism is pretty much institutionalized. The city, floating in the sky, was built on a platform of American exceptionalism by a religious zealot who is worshipped as a prophet. The city is littered with over-the-top American iconography – even to the point of having the Founding Fathers held up as religious figures.

    Hold that thought.

    Earlier this week, Fox News decided to run this graphic for a segment concerning immigration reform entitled “defending the homeland”

    Post by Ken Levine.

    That image comes from the Facebook page of Ken Levine, creator of Bioshock Infinite.

    Hm. That kind of looks like…

    In order to steer clear of political commentary, I’ll just let Ken Levine handle it:

    Image via Ken Levine, Facebook

  • Waffle House Robbed By Man With Pitchfork

    Waffle House Robbed By Man With Pitchfork

    Reality is stranger than fiction, and sometimes you have to creative with the robbery process.

    In Norcross, Georgia, police are searching for Jeffery Wooten, a 50-year-old man that robbed Buford highway’s Waffle House with a pitchfork on Thursday night.

    Surveillance photos unveiled Mr. Wooten with a purple ski-mask and pajamas (some Hugh Hefner outfit) yielding an iron pitchfork with a wooden handle and pointing it across the counter; he forced employees into the backroom and then moved to the cash register.

    “When he realized he couldn’t get the cash register open, he took the whole cash register and exited the store… with his pitchfork,” Norcross police Chief Warren Summers told Channel 2 Action News.

    When the swindling was through, Wooten stumbled out of the restaurant, realizing the cumbersomeness of a cash register in one hand and an agricultural tool in the other. According to WSB-TV, he dropped his weapon, and dashed on the sideway for his truck parked near a Rite Aid.

    After realizing Wooten unequipped his mighty weapon, the employees at Waffle House wanted their revenge.

    “Once he didn’t have a pitchfork, he wasn’t as brazen. I know that,” Summers said.

    Norcross Police said that two of the employees ran after Wooten, picking up and yielding the very weapon that herded them earlier. The back window of the truck shattered into sparkles of glass, and Wooten himself received a few blows from the pitchfork. Wooten managed to flee temporarily, with detectives issuing warrants for his arrest for armed robbery.

    “It wouldn’t be an offensive weapon in your garden, but it was in a Waffle House,” Summers said.

    According to police, Wooten took the pitchfork from a relative’s house of which he’s staying at, which isn’t too far away from the Waffle House he robbed.

    As of Friday afternoon, Wooten is currently in custody.

    Image via WSBTV

  • Gangs of Chihuahuas Invade Arizona Town, Hunt Kids

    Satan.

    Satan with four legs, aka, tiny chihuahuas are causing chaos in the Phoenix suburb of Maryvale, Arizona. Alongside their mega poop parties, furious lip licking orgies, and chasing school children, the humans over at animal control fear their rapid reproduction tactics.

    This year, over 6,000 calls were made to animal control concerning the wild little hellions.

    “We compared the number of calls we got in 2013 from that area to similar areas in town and the calls from Maryvale were three times higher than surrounding areas,” Melissa Gable of the Maricopa County Animal Care and Control told ABC11.

    Gable said it was due to the bitches looking for sex: “Part of it is these animals aren’t spayed or neutered, so they’re out looking for a mate and are having babies, which also contributes to the problem.”

    The strays roam around in large packs, swelling the streets, and chasing Maryvale children as they walk to school.

    “I seen six or seven Chihuahuas … and big dogs running with the Chihuahua’s in a pack running every single day,” Frank Garcia told Fox News.

    Often times, the chihuahuas join forces with other bigger, stray dogs rolling in packs as large as 15,  and creating a rag tag team of canine ferocity that strike fear in the hearts of locals.

    Maryvale resident Ray Rios told Fox News, “Yeah a lot of them they are out here chasing kids or going yard to yard … anywhere in groups of eight to twelve just running around.”

    Animal control is offering a hand in their services towards neutering for free. They have called upon residents to safely capture any of the dogs until they’re combed out.

    “If at all possible, if you see a stray, if you can safely contain him in your yard and then call us, that makes a big difference,” Gable told ABC.

    Images via Wikimedia Commons (1), (2)

  • Selfie In Front Of A Train? That’s A Paddlin’

    It was a delightful afternoon, Michael thought.

    Taking selfies with equipment he bought.

    So he stood by a train,

    which caused him some pain.

    “My face did the boot it did caught.”

    Enter Doofus McGee, AKA Jared Michael. In the YouTube video you see above, in the description box, Michael typed: “I tried to take a selfie while a train passed a “safe” distance behind. I guess I was still too close and got kicked in the head”

    The video is 10 seconds long, currently stands at 1,956,410 views, and has the whole internet laughing and pointing at poor Mr. Michael; he was only trying to capture some footage of his best Jaden Smith impression and Bieber haircut. What could go wrong? A conductor yelling “Hey!” and the realization that he needs to explain to the potential viewer (he uploaded the video, after all) “Wow, that guy kicked me in the head! I think I got that on film.”

    You did get that on film, and the conductor certainly kicked you in the head. Welcome to the new age, the new age, welcome to the new age, the new age.

    A young brooding Michael awaits his destiny for instant internet fame.

    A flirtatious foot via dirty conductor caresses the gentle smooth cheek of pure child innocence.

    Michael’s face is warped, yet, it appears he hasn’t registered being kicked in the face.

    Showing his true form, Michael turns into Beavis.

    The Bieber hair cut dances as the body collapses.

    Almost as if it’s self aware, Michael’s hair branches out in an attempt to attack the conductor, but fails.

    Michael is down for the count, what shame this could bring if anyone knew.

    Michael ponders the cruelty of the world… only to go home later and upload the footage.

    Multiple YouTube users have offered their perspective on the whole deal.

    User John Doe suggested in order to purge the “selfie generation”, we need another world war:

    SupaFlyFatGuy859, with a ton of validating virtual thumbs up (26, to be exact), suggested an award for the young man:

    The conductor’s kick, according to tvwears, saved the boy’s life:

    It almost seems like a movie or gimmicky viral marketing because you think, by itself, “How can people really be this stupid?” only to be disappointed when God whispers into your ear at night, saying: “Youth.”

    I think he’s a good kid.

    Images via YouTube

  • Ashley Greene: Twilight Star Plays Priscilla Presley

    Ashley Greene of Twilight fame has transformed from vampire status to that of Priscilla Presley in a new indie film. Shangri-La Suite features Ron Livingston as Elvis Presley. Emily Browning and Alyvia Alyn Lind also star in the film.

    The film takes viewers back to 1974, and tells the story of two troubled mental hospital patients–Karen (played by Emily Browning) and Jack (played by Luke Grimes). The pair fall in love and head on a cross-country adventure where they plan to murder Elvis during an L.A. concert appearance.

    Eddie O’Keefe directs Shangri-La Suite–in fact it’s his directorial debut. Aside from the plot line and details about Ashley Greene rocking a very hot retro one piece swimsuit–not much else has been shared about the film–including when it might hit the big screen.

    Here’s what we do know about Shangri-La Suite. It takes place after Elvis and Priscilla have divorced. And believe it or not, they aren’t the focus of the film. Browing and Grimes are. The film portrays Elvis and Priscilla’s relationship as an amicable one.

    Ashley Greene is probably best known for her role as Alice Cullen in the Twilight series of films. The pretty actress and model once posed nude in a painted-on bikini for SoBe advertisements that ran in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition back in 2010. She appeared in the film flop LOL, which also starred Miley Cyrus and Demi Moore.

    Might Shangri-La catapult Ashley Greene into eternal stardom as she portrays Priscilla Presley? It doesn’t really sound that way. In fact, if it nudges her an inch or two above LOL and below Twilight (and quite honestly, to be below Twilight is itself an insult) it might just be a deemed successful–at least for her. It just doesn’t seem like any film that features an Elvis look-alike stands much of a chance in 2014.

    Image via Wikimedia Commons

  • Guy Shares His Own ‘Wanted’ Facebook Post from Police Page, Nabbed in 45 Minutes

    Parents, if your child is beginning to show even a lick of sense, hold them tight. Not every parent is so lucky.

    A Pennsylvania man has been arrested after he taunted police by sharing his own ‘Wanted’ post on their page. He was apprehended after a quickly-orchestrated Facebook sting operation that involved officers posing as an interested female prospect.

    On Monday, the Freeland Police Department shared this photo on their Facebook page:

    Post by Freeland Police Department.

    And in less than an hour, they shared this one:

    Post by Freeland Police Department.

    What happened in between? Well, Mr. Lescowitch has shared the post on his own Facebook page and taunted police.

    This hilarious story doesn’t end with idiot Facebook shares, however. It actually ends with idiot Facebook messaging. Here’s the Times Leader’s account of how Lescowitch was eventually apprehended:

    So, an undercover officer used a Facebook profile of a fictitious attractive woman to engage in online conversation with Lescowitch through Facebook for about a half hour, pretending to be interested in meeting him and gathering key information about him.

    Lescowitch, of Freeland, initially declined an offer to meet for a drink, but when the officer asked him where he was and said, “The least you can do is come out and have a cigarette with me,” Lescowitch agreed, police said.

    Sure enough, when undercover officers pulled up in a car at the location Lescowitch specified, he came out and was promptly arrested without incident.

    He’ll be arraigned on charges of aggravated assault, probation violation, and failure to properly navigate social media.

    The funny, sad, depressing, yet altogether unsurprising fact about this type of display is that it happens all the time. All the time.

    Image via Freeland Police Department, Facebook

  • JPMorgan Scraps Twitter Q&A Over Fiscal Furor

    JPMorgan Scraps Twitter Q&A Over Fiscal Furor

    It was a brief idea that lasted all of nine glorious hours: the vice-chairman of US corporate banking giant JPMorgan, Jimmy Lee, announced he would be taking over the @jpmorgan Twitter feed at 1pm today. By last night, however, major news outlets around the world were reporting the idea as completely scrapped because of the thousands of angry, abusive tweets the company received at the hashtag #AskJPM.

    It all began with this tweet:

    It didn’t take long for the tweets to pile in, and a vast majority were far from friendly:

    By the time the company had had enough…

    … it was far too late. Not even Jamie Dimon could undo what had been done:

    Even Hacktivist group Anonymous weighed in on one of their many Twitter outlets:

    The wisest tweet, ironically, came from a fellow banker, who said:

    [Image via Twitter]

  • The Ultimate Piracy Deterrent: Britney Spears Music?

    The Daily Mirror reports that merchant sea captains who sail off the coast of Africa repeatedly deal with pirate attacks and have found solace in the most unlikely of weapons: Britney Spears’ early catalog.

    The effects of the music are witnessed almost instantly. As Somali raiders armed with assault rifles approach a merchant ship, the crew blasts “… Baby One More Time” or “Oops! I Did It Again.”

    Rachel Owens, a 34-year-old merchant navy officer from Aberfoyle, Scotland who works on valuable supertankers that travel around the horn of Africa, said Britney Spears music seems to be the most effective method yet of deterring pirates.

    “Her songs have been chosen by the security team accompanying our tankers because they thought the pirates would hate them most,” she said. “These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect.”

    The security staff simply points the speakers at the pirates, cranks the volume, and presses play. “They’re so effective the ship’s security rarely needs to resort to firing guns – as soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney they move on as quickly as they can,” Rachel said.

    (image)
    [Google Maps]

    Because of the proximity of important maritime commerce routes around the Horn of Africa relevant to Somalia, pirates often target huge tankers to try and ransom both the crew and the cargo for amounts in the £multi-million range. 2011 saw 176 attacks by pirates on ships travelling around the Horn of Africa, but only 25 of those attacks resulted in any kidnapping.

    The Somali pirate armada has reached such a threat level that the Royal Navy has reportedly dispatched 1500 sailors aboard 14 warships to patrol the area around-the-clock.

    Steven Jones, an official from the Security Association for the Maritime Industry, noted that the U.S. police and military were the first to use music as a way to calm a situation down, and that the adoption of the tactic by cruise ships and merchant vessels seems effective. “I’d imagine using Justin Bieber would be against the Geneva Convention,” he joked.

    [Image via BritneySpears.com]

  • Jimmy Kimmel Segment Captures The Heart of Obamacare Discourse

    Whatever your opinion of Obamacare/The Affordable Care Act is, I at least hope you can differentiate between the two enough to know that they are, in fact, the same thing. It seems that the whole different name thing is more than enough to throw people off. With that in mind, don’t be one of those people. If you’re going log on to Twitter/Facebook/comment section of your favorite online news resource to vent your spleen about Obamacare, no matter which side of the coin you fall on, make sure you know Obamacare is only Act’s nickname.

    Unfortunately, as the following Jimmy Kimmel Live segment demonstrates, many anti-Obamacare folks were completely on board with the idea of The Affordable Care Act, proving once again just how powerful of a tool branding really is. Before that, the video:


    After watching that, one wonders if the response would be better if The Affordable Care Act was nicknamed ObamaHasNothingToDoWithThiscare or ThisHealthCareActIsNotNamedAfterObamacare instead. Of course, those don’t lend themselves to a manageable hashtags, and considering the all out Twitter war over this particular topic, we couldn’t have that, now could we?

    As for the branding issue, this is a clear example of branding driving the public reaction. It’s also a clear cut case of just how effective branding alone can be when it comes to forming an opinion. People have become conditioned to react to the name “Obama,” much like casual computer users react favorably to new Apple products. Unfortunately for those who prefer signal to noise in their social media feeds, these reactions, informed or otherwise, are currently dominating the national discourse, and one could argue this entire discussion is being driven by the brand name assigned to the subject matter.

    Just make sure you know that Obamacare is actually a nickname.

    [Editors Note: One could also discern that people don’t associate something called “Affordable” with Obamacare since it is in fact increasing the cost of insurance and medical care.]

    [Lead image via Wikipedia]

  • John McCain: I’ll Reply to Putin’s NYT Op-Ed in Pravda

    For the first time in history, one world leader will respond to another world leader via newspaper columns in their respective nations and languages. Vladimir Putin penned a NYT column last week that discussed U.S. foreign policy with regard to a forthcoming attack on Syria. That column incensed many readers, and some Twitter reactions labeled Putin a “concern troll” who’s now “doing donuts in Obama’s front yard.”

    Following open criticism of the diplomatically-arranged plan by Russia and the United States to deprive Syria of its chemical weapons arsenal, John McCain now stands ready to toss his hat into the ring after he jokingly suggested to CNN that he’d “love to have a commentary in Pravda.”

    Things became interesting when the English language editor of Pravda, Dmitry Sudakov, told Josh Hudson at Foreign Policy’s The Cable that John McCain is more than welcome to write for the Russian paper, which has moved online: “Mr. McCain has been an active anti-Russian politician for many years already. We have been critical of his stance on Russia and international politics in our materials, but we would be only pleased to publish a story penned by such a prominent politician as John McCain.”

    At this point, Slate questioned whether or not McCain knew which Pravda he would be writing for: the Pravda that represented the official mouthpiece of the Soviet Russian government (which no longer exists), or the Pravda as it exists today, which Slate author Josh Keating describes as “a frequently updated and highly-entertaining tabloid, publishing in both English and Russian, whose content is a kind of cross between WorldNetDaily and the National Enquirer.”

    Slate collected a few interesting examples of the modern day Pravda, which included an op-ed about the 2012 presidential election that equated electing Mitt Romney with “appointing a serial paedophile as a kindergarten teacher, a rapist as a janitor at a girls’ dormitory or a psychopath with a fixation on knives as a kitchen hand.”

    As ridiculous as it sounds, when The Cable talked to McCain’s communications director Brian Rogers, he told them on the record that “Senator McCain would be glad to write something for Pravda, so we’ll be reaching out to Dmitry with a submission.” Sudakov was thrilled at the news, and intends to have McCain’s column “published in English and then translated into Russian so that all our Russian readers could read what Mr. McCain has to say.”

    [Image via a CNN video on YouTube about the political jousting between Russia and the United States]

  • Adding Street Fighter’s Chun-Li To Fail Compilation Videos Wins

    If ever anything was meant to be collected and presented in a compilation video, it’s people failing on a day-to-day basis. I mean, is it right to laugh at the misfortune of others? No, but who cares, especially when it’s in video format. No one can judge you if you’re laughing from the safety of your own home/office/cubicle, right? To give you an idea of just how popular fail videos truly are, when you search for that simple term, there are over 12 million results. Have fun sifting through that particular morass.

    With that in mind, if you want your video to succeed, it has to stand out and grow some viral wings. One tried and true way to do that is to add some remix flavor to the proceedings in the hope that your creativity catches the eyes of blogs and web news sites around the globe. Using a popular video game character in your remix never hurts, either. Just ask the guys at ParodiePub. You might recognize the name from the “Blanka is a Troll” videos, a series that clearly demonstrates the creator’s love for Street Fighter characters.

    As the title suggests, in their latest video, the group placed another popular Street Fighter character, Chun-Li, in the middle of the action, and let’s just say she doesn’t take kindly to people making fun of her powerful thighs. Observe:


    While we’re a little late to the party–the video was posted two weeks ago and has almost 1 million views–it’s the thought that counts. And hey, if you haven’t seen it, it’s still new to you. Whatever the case, I truly hope this isn’t the first time we see Chun-Li wreaking havoc on those who were foolish enough to be in a position of failure while in her presence.

    [Lead image via Dual Shockers]

  • Creation Museum Employee Struck by Lightning

    In what appears to be a hilariously ironic turn of events, someone who works at the Petersburg Creation Museum was struck by lightning while maintaining one of the zip line courses. The worker was not directly struck, but he was holding a zip line while standing on the ground at the time the lightning impacted.

    A Kentucky local news affiliate reported that the worker was in the process of clearing guests from the zip lines for their own safety.

    The employee was taken to the Saint Elizabeth Hospital in Florence, and museum spokespeople have said that his injuries were not serious. Roving thunderstorms shut the museum’s zip line courses down for safety concerns.

    The Petersburg Creation Museum is, according to its website, a “state-of-the-art 70,000 square foot museum brings the pages of the Bible to life, casting its characters and animals in dynamic form and placing them in familiar settings. Adam and Eve live in the Garden of Eden. Children play and dinosaurs roam near Eden’s Rivers. The serpent coils cunningly in the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.” Tickets cost $30 for people aged 13-59, while seniors pay about $24. Bringing the toddler is free, but your pre-teen will cost you $16 a ticket.

    The museum’s exhibits, in a strange twist, have recently seemed quite multicultural. A dragon exhibit, examining the legends and artwork from several countries, is purposed with educating young Christians about how “God’s Word indicates that dinosaurs and man were created on the same day, so biblical creationists are not surprised to uncover clues that ancient man had indeed seen these beasts,” and how certain dinosaurs are merely mistaken reptiles.

    Another new exhibit, entitled “Lucy,” seems intended to discount anthropological evidence that supports evolution. Anthropologists regularly cite the bones of Australopithecus afarensis that were discovered in 1974 and dubbed “Lucy” as being a close relative of the Homo genus, to which modern humans belong. The website boasts that “the Creation Museum has presented her from a Biblical starting point. This high-tech exhibit uses holograms to give an inside look into Lucy’s anatomy.” Unlike the rest of the exhibits, Lucy’s is not given a hyperlink.

  • Weiner’s Pseudonym Now A Hot-Dog Brand

    Weiner’s Pseudonym Now A Hot-Dog Brand

    Everyone’s favorite scandal-plagued New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner may never live his ordeal down. ABC News has taken notice of a Florida marketing man named Randall Richards who has teamed up with an Illinois hot dog manufacturer called Thrushwood Farms Quality Meats to produce a brand called Carlos Danger Weiners, which he incorporated into Carlos Danger LLC.

    Obviously, Weiner’s name and his ridiculous sexual escapades on Twitter were too delicious to resist. Richards said the idea originated around the same time as Weiner’s second Twitter sex scandal emerged, with Weiner continuing to send lewd messages under the handle ‘Carlos Danger’ long after he had resigned his public office. “This is something that’s too good of an opportunity to pass up,” he said of the idea. “It’s a great American dream to make money off a stupid political gaffe.”

    The website’s description of the new hot dogs is fraught with wordplay and freudian analogy: “A Carlos Danger Weiner rises to any occasion,” the site claims, acknowledging that “there are many ways to enjoy your Carlos Danger Weiner. You can jerk it with a Jerk spice, plump it, pull it or just figure it out on your own. Always use a leather weiner holder, which ensures you will get the very most out of your weiner experience.”

    The dogs are about twice the size of a regular hot dog, and are billed as “the best made and best tasting award winning hot dogs you will ever taste.” They aren’t totally outside the range of affordability, either, at a dollar a dog for a pack of four, or an $80 Super Tailgater Pack, which includes a cooler, reusable ice packs, 12 Carlos Danger self adhesive mustaches, 12 Carlos Danger coozies, and “a whole lot of hilarious fun!”

    To view a timeline of Anthony Weiner’s internet deception, ABC News has a nice one.

    If you absolutely can’t stand the idea of going through your day without a salacious snack, you can pick yourself up a variety of packages of Carlos Danger Weiners at the company website. For those who might be wondering, swallowing one of Carlos Danger’s weiners is not kosher.