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Tag: Harold Camping

  • Doomsday Preacher Harold Camping Dies

    Doomsday Preacher Harold Camping Dies

    Harold Camping, who has been notoriously known as the doomsday preacher, died at the age of 92 on Sunday, after suffering injuries from a fall.

    Camping’s fame and fortune rose with his ability, or apparent inability, to predict the date that the world would come to an end. His latest predictions were in 2011, when he first said the second coming of Christ would be on May 21, 2011. When nothing out of the ordinary happened in May, Camping changed his prediction to October 21, 2011. Again, the day came and went, just like any other day.

    Camping finally acknowledged his false accusations and issued a statement apologizing for being incorrect. “We humbly acknowledge we were wrong about the timing,” his statement read. “We tremble before God as we humbly ask Him for forgiveness for making that sinful statement.” He continued his statement by saying, although his prediction was wrong, it served a better purpose by getting people all over the world acquainted with the Bible.

    “Though we were wrong God is still using the May 21 warning in a very mighty way. In the months following May 21 the Bible has, in some ways, come out from under the shadows and is now being discussed by all kinds of people who never before paid any attention to the Bible,” the statement continued. “Even as God used sinful Balaam to accomplish His purposes, so He used our sin to accomplish His purpose of making the whole world acquainted with the Bible.”

    Camping’s statement ended with him confirming that neither he nor his radio station Family Radio, would be offering another prediction. “We also openly acknowledge that we have no new evidence pointing to another date for the end of the world,” Camping wrote. “Though many dates are circulating, Family Radio has no interest in even considering another date. God has humbled us through the events of May 21, to continue to even more fervently search the Scriptures (the Bible), not to find dates, but to be more faithful in our understanding.”

    Camping is survived by his wife of 71 years.

    Image via Wikimedia Commons

  • The Apocalypse Isn’t Happening Anytime Soon [Infographic]

    We got word today that a bunch of new agers are climbing a mountain in France. They’re doing this to communicate with aliens who will save them from extinction when the world ends on December 21, 2012. It turns out they’re not all that unique as we are obsessed with the end of the world.

    An awesome infographic from My Free Email Search details all the failed attempts at predicting the end of the world. If you thought end of the world predictions were something new, think again. The first recorded end of the world prediction is from the Assyrians in 2800 B.C. The cause of the end for them: bribery and corruption. If that was the case, every nation on earth would have been destroyed over and over again for the past 2,000 years.

    Not surprisingly, a lot of predictions from Christian believers in the early days after Jesus had died. Various popes predicted the end of the world for various reasons including math and the rise of Islam. Other Christians believed the end would come in 1033, a thousand years after the death of Jesus.

    Predictions started getting more common in the 20th century with noted evangelists Harold Camping and Pat Robertson both predicting the end of the world. After Robertson wrongly predicted the end twice, he got out of that race. As we all know though, Camping kept going and predicted the end of the world six times with last year’s predictions causing the biggest ruckus.

    We’re not done with predictions yet though. We still have the Mayan calendar set for later this year and a few others in the far off future. Of course, the future predictions are a bit more based in science, but still way off. One prediction has the earth succumbing to overpopulation while another blames it on an asteroid.

    Thankfully, there are only two predictions that are spot on and we won’t be around to witness it anyway. The two end of the world predictions see our sun burning out in a billion years or the universe just stops working. Check out the full infographic for the rundown.

    (image)

  • Harold Camping Sorry World Failed to End

    Harold Camping Sorry World Failed to End

    Harold Camping, 90, the California radio preacher and numerologist who twice-predicted the end of the world last year, has acknowledged that his prophecies were wrong and has apologized. In a letter written on his Family Radio website, Camping called his last blunder a “sinful statement,” and asked for God to forgive him.

    Camping had initially declared May 21st, 2011 as being the end of the world. Family Radio spent millions marketing the apocalypse, hoping the Rapture would redeem all believers. Some followers quit their jobs and emptied their bank accounts to help spread the word. After nothing happened, Camping had a stroke, regrouped, claimed to be “flabbergasted,” said his initial date was a mathematical miscalculation, and rescheduled his end-of-the-world date to be in October. Nothing happened again, and Camping has recently displayed remorse.

    “We humbly acknowledge we were wrong” and “we have no new evidence pointing to another date for the end of the world,” Camping had written. Sounding less somber, Camping pointed out that the May 21st non-world-end event at least raised awareness about the bible and Jesus Christ.

    Camping added, “Family Radio has no interest in even considering another date. We have learned the very painful lesson that all of creation is in God’s hands and he will end time in his time, not ours! We humbly recognize that God may not tell his people the date when Christ will return, any more than he tells anyone the date they will die physically.”

    The video below describes some of the generalized rapturous ethos Camping peddles to his followers:

    Interestingly, Camping’s net worth is reported to hover around $75 million, but the stroke hints at actual conviction.

  • Harold Camping Rapture Prediction: October 21 is the Day, Folks

    I regret to inform you all that life as we know it will cease to exist this Friday, October 21st.

    That’s when the part time biblical numerologist and full time resident of batshitville Harold Camping has predicted as the end of days, the completion of God’s final judgment – the rapture.

    Of course, if you remember correctly, this is the second date this year that Camping has pegged for the apocalypse. The original end of the world was supposed to have taken place on May 21st , but as you’re undoubtedly aware, that day came and went with no incident.

    Shortly after his first prediction failed, Camping went into hiding for a couple of days. When he emerged, he had an explanation for why we were all still there. He said that May 21st was sort of a rapture soft opening, with some souls being taken to heaven and the rest of the world left to slog around in some post-apocalyptic hell-on-Earth for a few months. He said that it would no longer happen that way and set October 21st as the hard date for the end of times.

    Now we are a couple of days away from that date and Camping has clarified what actually happened on May 21st.

    Apparently that day started “God’s final judgment,” which is, from what I can tell, a period meant to scare the hell out of everyone. Camping says that nobody has been able to get saved since May 21st. Civilizations’ Apple Care protection plan ran out on that day and we’ve all been screwed for a few months now.

    And now it’s all over on Friday. He released an audio message on his Family Radio website, and here’s what you can get out of the incoherent ramblings:

    I do believe that were getting very near the very end, we’ve not known, we’ve learned that there’s a lot of things we didn’t have quite right, and that’s God’s good provision. If he had not kept us from knowing everything that we didn’t know, we would not have been able to be used of him to bring about the tremendous event that occurred on May 21 of this year, which probably will be finished out on October 21.

    It looks like it will be the final end of everything.

    There will be no big display of any kind, the end is going to come very very quietly.

    No big display? Sounds like a let down. It’s so much cooler in movies.

    Much like last time, Twitter is a little bit skeptical of Camping’s predictions:

    @TheBillWalton
    The Bill Walton Trip    Not 1, not 2, this is the 3rd Rapture prediction for Harold Camping. When he gets proven wrong again, perhaps he will retire down in Miami. 27 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @someecards
    someecards    At least if the Rapture does happen this week, we’ll be spared a Rangers-Cardinals World Series. http://t.co/JJKEYqv0 4 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto

    @Youthguy07
    Carl Jones    If Harold Camping is right about Oct. 21, then Thanksgiving this year will feature leftovers- both food and house guests. #RaptureHumor 8 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @JustinOtherinch
    Michael Smooth    I bet every time Harold Camping announces a Rapture date, Debbie Harry smiles and cashes another residuals check. 21 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    And New York City is getting prepared for the rapture, as the site NYC Rapture Readiness has begun to issue these end of days tips –

    I wasn’t sure that I believed this whole rapture thing until I realized that October 21st is Kim Kardashian’s birthday. It all makes sense…

  • Harold Camping: Rapture Rescheduled for October 21, Twitter Laughs On

    The “flabbergasted” biblical numerologist Harold Camping has emerged from seclusion and addressed the world about the still impending rapture.

    Until a broadcast on Family Radio late last night, Camping had only said a few words about the fact that the world did not begin its tailspin towards destruction at 6 pm on May 21st. Those words were caught on tape, courtesy of NPR:

    Harold Camping speaks at home 5/22 by Brandoom

    But last night, the 89-year-old fake prophet announced that the rapture was far from cancelled – but simply postponed. More specifically, he was not off on the dates. May 21st marked a more “spiritual” beginning of the end, and in five months the real end will come.

    In Camping’s original prediction, the rapture was to take place on May 21st, sending the souls of some 200 million people to heaven. The world was then supposed to linger about in post-apocalyptic misery for five months, finally ceasing to exist on October 21st. It was a soft opening for the rapture, if you will.

    Now, Camping is saying that there will be no lead up to the end, it will just happen on October 21st – a hard opening.

    Camping, as quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle:

    “Were not changing a date at all; we’re just learning that we have to be a little more spiritual about this. But on Oct. 21, the world will be destroyed. It won’t be five months of destruction. It will come at once.

    We don’t need to talk about it anymore. The world has been warned – my it has been warned. We have done our share and the media picked it up. The world has been warned that it is under judgment.”

    Well, the Twitterverse is reacting as you would expect:

    @Lord_Voldemort7
    The Dark Lord    Apparently the apocolypse is moved to Oct 21st, which also happens to be Kim Kardashian’s birthday. It’s all starting to make sense… 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @FrankConniff
    Frank Conniff    The Rapture pushed back to Oct. 21 after being overhauled & retooled by “Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark” creative team. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @JoyVBehar
    Joy Behar    Harold Camping is now saying the Rapture will occur on Oct. 21. Apparently he was able to file for an extension. #Rapture 3 hours ago via Seesmic Web · powered by @socialditto

    @JimGaffigan
    Jim Gaffigan    Boy, even that fake Judgment Day is making Flag Day look like, well, Flag Day. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    And joking seems to be to preferred method of talking about Camping’s rapture predictions. Social media monitoring company Crimson Hexagon analyzed over 500,000 relevant rapture discussions on Twitter from May 20th to May 23rd and found that 67% of those tweets were in the form of jokes, humor and sarcasm.

    9% were about end-of-the-world parties while 10% were direct knocks on Harold Camping himself. 3% were talking about how they survived the rapture and 3% also said that the whole nopocalypse actually brought people closer to God/religion.

    So the rapture is still imminent, my friends. And if Harold Camping has taught us anything it’s that when money is involved never give up on the crazy – you double down on the crazy.

    Lead Image Courtesy

  • Judgment Day 2011 a Bust, The Internet Reacts

    If you are reading this, that means you are still here. And last time I checked, the world didn’t look very godforsaken and apocalypty. This means one of two things: Either biblical numerologist Harold Camping is absolutely full of it, or the rapture occurred and nobody was worthy enough to take.

    May 21st came and went, and no apocalypse. Two things are certain: We are all still alive on this good Earth, and Harold Camping exploits people’s fears for money. Now, this isn’t exactly a shock to most of us but must be a huge blow to his followers. What do you do once you’ve prepared for the end of the world, and it doesn’t happen? Go see a movie to get your mind off of it?

    It’s not that easy for many of Camping’s followers. People quit their jobs in preparation for the rapture. Some even sold everything the own and drained their life savings to put up billboards advertising the May 21st doomsday. To those poor people, the nopocalypse wasn’t very funny. To the world wide interwebs, it’s just too easy a target.

    The Twitterverse has exploded with comments about the nopocalypse. Here are some of the best:

    @SethMacFarlane
    Seth MacFarlane    Honestly, I was sort of hoping the world would end on Saturday, ‘cause then I wouldn’t have to tweet anymore. 3 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    @pennjillette
    Penn Jillette    @smartin73 Don’t think our show is needed, everyone knows the “rapture” was bullshit. 1 day ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @PimpBillClinton
    Bill Clinton    If I was Obama, “stopped the Rapture” would go to the top of my resume. 16 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @Jesus_M_Christ
    Jesus Christ    We were actually planning on doing the Rapture today, but couldn’t find anyone worthy of being raptured. 1 day ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @BorowitzReport
    Andy Borowitz    Judgment Day minister updates prediction: “The world doesn’t end this week. Oprah does. My bad, sry.” 2 days ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Before the big day, the people of the internet promoted rapture bombing, or rapture pranking: Here are some of the best results, from Twitpic:

    And finally, we all know the real reason why the rapture didn’t happen: Flying elbow drop.

    Though Harold Camping has yet to officially respond to the fact that he is a ridiculous liar, The San Francisco Chronicle caught him outside his home and pulled a few words from him.

    Camping said that he was “flabbergasted” that his predictions proved incorrect.

    “It’s been a really tough weekend,” he said. He added that he was “looking for answers” through prayer.

    “But now I have nothing else to say,” he said. “I’ll be back to work Monday and will say more then.”

    We we wait anxiously for Camping’s next prediction. Maybe the third time’s the charm.

  • Judgment Day is May 21 Says Harold Camping, Twitter Prepares

    Full Disclosure: I totally believe the end times are nigh, my friends.

    Christian radio broadcaster and president of Family Radio Harold Camping has given us the date – and that date is tomorrow, May 21st.

    Using numerology based on dates and time-frames mentioned in the Bible, Camping has determined that the rapture will occur at 6:00 pm, May 21st. It will we a sweeping rapture, hitting each time zone as they reach 6 pm.

    Here’s what Camping thinks will happen tomorrow, as quoted in an interview with New York Magazine:

    When the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening.

    His followers believe that about 200,000,000 people will be raptured, only 3% of the population. For the rest of you, the world will end as you know it five months later on October 21st. Stock up on bullets and beef jerky, my friends.

    Now, I am convinced that Mr. Camping is right this time. By this time, I of course am referring to when he previously predicted the date for judgement day in September of 1994. The only reason he was wrong then was because there needed to be more research done on the subject. He is “absolutely sure” this time. And so am I.

    I mean, look – Mat 21st. 2+1 = 3. There are 3 parts of the holy trinity. BAM! There are also 3 letters in May. BAM! May 21st is the birthday of Notorious B.I.G. What does B.I.G. stand for? Believe in God. BAM! The month of May. Add an “o” you get Mayo. Mayonnaise has a lot of calories. CALories, like in CALifornia. Who was just the governor of California? Arnold Schwarzenegger – who starred in Terminator 2 – JUDGMENT DAY! Told ya.

    It is important to note, that the majority of Christian organizations have denounced this prophecy. But they obviously haven’t heard my Mayo argument.

    As I was looking around Twitter, I saw all of these heathens and future post-apocalypse dwellers mocking the end times. The hashtag #IfTheWorldEndsOnSaturday is even trending. Oh, you’ll be laughing when Camping and I are right.

    @DeathStarPR
    Death Star PR    #IfTheWorldEndsOnSaturday we didn’t do it. Okay, fine. It was us. But you guys totally deserved it. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @Lord_Voldemort7
    The Dark Lord    #iftheworldendsonsaturday only the good go to ‘heaven.’ You know what that means? Party! Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @pattonoswalt
    Patton Oswalt    “Oh my God… rhythm IS a dancer!” — last thing I say before The Rapture 13 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @StephenAtHome
    Stephen Colbert    On the off chance the world doesn’t end on Saturday, could somebody feed Gipper for the next week? 1 hour ago via SocialOomph · powered by @socialditto

    @JimGaffigan
    Jim Gaffigan    “I didn’t say Judgment Day. I said Judge MINT Day. Which is better Mentos or Tic Tacs? Hope there wasn’t any confussion.” – God 11 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @maggieserota
    Maggie Serota    On Saturday, I’m going to have to reconsider my “not if you were the last man on Earth” stance. 12 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    All of this end of the world talk needs an animation to help us understand. Watch this, it may help. It’s NSFW, but who cares, you won’t have a job after tomorrow anyways.

  • Judgment Day May 21: Tips for Believers and Non-Believers

    So we’ve all heard the news that the rapture may, in fact, happen tomorrow at 6pm. Biblical numerologist Harold Camping sez that a sweeping rapture will take around 200 million souls to heaven, leaving the rest of us here to, I’m assuming, ride roller-coasters and eat at Bob Evans until October 21st, the day when he says the world will actually end as we know it.

    Fun.

    Here are some things you can do, whether you believe that the end times are upon us or not – and whether it actually happens or not.

    Let’s say you don’t fear the the apocalypse is coming, but you know people who do. Well, here’s what you should do: Rapture Prank.

    The idea is swirling around the interwebs that the best thing to do tonight and early tomorrow morning is to discard you clothing, shoes and other personal effects around the streets of your town. Hopefully, it will look like you have been raptured. The people who believe in the rapture will think they have been passed up, and hilarity will ensue. Twitter is seeing two hashtags emerge, #RapturePrank and #RaptureBomb, the latter seems to be promoted by Gizmodo.

    @kevinism
    Kevin Pakdivichit    #Rapture prank: On Saturday, take some of your old clothes and shoes and leave sets of them arranged on sidewalks and lawns around town. 2 days ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    @Gizmodo
    Gizmodo    Anybody have good #rapturebomb ideas? I was thinking of sitting some clothes on an old bicycle. http://gizmo.do/lNCPcr 1 hour ago via Tweetie for Mac · powered by @socialditto

    @timcarvell
    Tim Carvell    If you want to ditch your Judgment Day-believing family forever and really mess with their heads in the process, tomorrow’s the day to do it 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    So what if the Rapture actually does take place as predicted. Well, damn. You’re left behind. Kinda sucks, but what to do now?

    Well, the first thing you’re going to want to do is start looting. Yes, it might seem odd to begin to erode the fabric of humanity and decency so soon – but if you don’t then somebody will. And you don’t want to be left with all the crap guns and Kroger-brand chili. You want the good stuff.

    Right now, an event is popular on Facebook entitled “Post rapture looting.” It’s info says “when everyone is gone and god’s not looking, we need to pick up some sweet stereo equipment and maybe some new furniture for the mansion we’re going to squat in.”

    True. But almost 600,000 are RSVP’ed as attending. So there is going to be stiff competition for the quality loot. 46,000 are listed as “maybe attending.” They will not act fast enough and miss out on the good stuff. 90,000 are not attending, meaning that they are either choosing to abide by some sort of law and order that won’t exist, or they feel like they will be gone and won’t have the need to loot anything.

    Okay, now for the rapture believers. If you believe that you will indeed be leaving this world tomorrow, you must worry about your pets. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA can help.

    The service has been around for some time, but they are obviously booming as of late. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA labels itself as “the next best thing to pet salvation in a post rapture world.” They are a group of animal loving atheists that for $135, will care for your pet if you are taken in the rapture. Contracts last 10 years, and you can add additional pets for $20 each.

    Don’t leave your beloved puppy to be eaten by hungry post-apocalyptic travelers.

    Note: There has been excessive traffic to their inbox. Here’s what they say:

    IMPORTANT NOTICE 5/20/11: DUE TO UNPRECEDENTED EMAIL VOLUME OUR EMAIL REPLY ABILITY HAS BEEN MAXED OUT. ONLY CONTRACT SUBMISSIONS WITH PAYPAL SUBMISSIONS WILL BE REPLIED TO IMMEDIATELY. ALL OTHER INQUIRES AND EMAILS WILL BE REPLIED TO BUT WITHIN THE NEXT 24 TO 48 HOURS. OUR APOLOGIES.

    What if you have a child in the post rapture world? A question on Quora asks “What are some good post-Rapture activities to do with a 3-year-old?”

    I would suggest fairs, carnivals and amusement parks. Maybe a trip to post-apocalyptic Disney World. But the top response on Quora suggests activities based on the book of Revalation:

    If you’d prefer a more action-packed role, you could take up polo, since horsemen will be some of the most prominent of the supernatural administrators of Hell on Earth (Revelation 6:1-8).

    You could also learn the trumpet, to hang with the six angels of the seventh seal who call forth many of the calamities against the heathen swarms.

    The post-Rapture does offer one extreme sport. Using an adapted maker hook, you try to ride the monsters – the dragon (Revelation 12:13-17), the beast from the sea (Revelation 13:1-10), and the beast from the land (Revelation 13:11-18).

    I hope this will help all of you. Let’s just hope that if the rapture comes, it takes the form of a zombie apocalypse. I’ve been waiting my whole life for that.