Facebook reportedly lost 1.4 million U.S. users last month. Or, maybe they didn’t. Metrics can be a tricky thing. Even if Facebook lost roughly 1% of their user base, is it even a huge deal? Things like that fluctuate from month to month and Facebook is damn near saturated in the U.S. market anyway.
Whatever the case, the Facebook police know that they need to “convince” defectors to come back. How do they do that? Well, brute force of course.
With all of the stupid, banal, borderline maddening stuff that people post on Facebook, don’t you wish that the “report story” option carried a bit more weight? What if clicking it triggered a swift response from a unit dedicated to finding and beating the absolute crap out of the idiot who posted the offensive content?
If you’ve ever wished bodily harm on one of your “friends” for vaguebooking, fishing for compliments, or posting about their amazing salad they had for lunch – you’ll probably get a kick out of the Facebook Police.
Courtesy of AndrewMfilms, this awesome little short imagines what would happen if people were held accountable for their daily Facebook stupidity – held accountable with pain and destruction of property.
In a world with real Facebook Police, you may want to think twice about that status you post about missing your “snuggums” who’s on vacation. If it pisses off the wrong person, you may find your laptop smashed and your body broken and mangled around a swingset.
Check it out below:
Believe it or not, the concept of the Facebook Police isn’t brand new. Jimmy Kimmel once imagined a similar force whose job it was to enforce the laws of Facebook. Kimmel’s Facebook Police busted down your door and made sure you accepted your mom’s friend request, or responded to that long-ignored poke – but they never went all Terminator and threw your ass halfway across a playground.
And for that reason, we opt for these Facebook Police.