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Tag: dumb

  • Bison Selfie Turns Ugly for Woman at Yellowstone

    When deciding whether or not to take a selfie with a wild animal, you gotta do some risk-reward calculations.

    Is taking a selfie with a bison worth the risk? I don’t know, it’s not that cool. But hey, if you want to risk it …

    Don’t be like this 43-year-old mom, who was unable to surreptitiously snap the photo before being rammed by the camera-shy beat.

    Officials at Yellowstone National Park say that the woman and her six-year-old daughter were attempting to snap a selfie with a bison – but things went awry.

    Apparently, the bison charged, hit the woman on her right side, and tossed her.

    Maybe they should’ve tried a selfie from a greater distance. Park officials say they lineup up abut six yards from the clearly no-nonsense bison.

    The woman was taken to a local hospital where she was treated for minor injuries.

    “The family said they read the warnings in both the park literature and the signage, but saw other people close to the bison, so they thought it would be OK,” Colleen Rawlings, a ranger in the park’s Old Faithful District told CNN. “People need to recognize that Yellowstone wildlife is wild, even though they seem docile. This woman was lucky that her injuries were not more severe.”

    Plenty of people have lived to enjoy the likes on their own bison selfies:

    Yellowstone is pretty cool #bisonselfie

    A photo posted by Josh Gilbert (@gilbyy48) on

    Just a #bisonselfie with Buford. #bison #buffalo #katerraexotics #katybison #ranchlife #katerrahomestead

    A photo posted by Patrick Bierschwale (@patthebison) on

    Bison selfie! #olympicgamefarm #bison #feedinganimals #lifeisgood #bisonselfie #sequim #washingtonlife

    A photo posted by stacie (@stacie.kain.and.reggie) on

    But really, you gotta be careful.

    This isn’t the first bison encounter that’s made headlines. Just a couple months ago, a 16-year-old girl was gored while trying to pose for a picture with a Yellowstone bison.

    The National Park Service recommends a 25 yard buffer zone between people and bison.

    “Visitors are reminded that Yellowstone wildlife is wild. Wildlife should not be approached, no matter how tame or calm they appear. Visitors must stay at least 100 yards (91 m) away from bears and wolves and at least 25 yards (23 m) away from all other large animals – bison, elk, bighorn sheep, deer, moose, and coyotes. Bison can sprint three times faster than humans can run and are unpredictable and dangerous. Just because an animal may be near a trail or boardwalk does not mean it should be approached within the recommended safe distances. Visitors are advised to give the animals enough space and be willing to alter their plans to avoid interacting with an animal in close proximity,” says the NPS.

    Be smart out there, folks.

    image via Yellowstone National Park, Flickr Creative Commons

  • Selfie In Front Of A Train? That’s A Paddlin’

    It was a delightful afternoon, Michael thought.

    Taking selfies with equipment he bought.

    So he stood by a train,

    which caused him some pain.

    “My face did the boot it did caught.”

    Enter Doofus McGee, AKA Jared Michael. In the YouTube video you see above, in the description box, Michael typed: “I tried to take a selfie while a train passed a “safe” distance behind. I guess I was still too close and got kicked in the head”

    The video is 10 seconds long, currently stands at 1,956,410 views, and has the whole internet laughing and pointing at poor Mr. Michael; he was only trying to capture some footage of his best Jaden Smith impression and Bieber haircut. What could go wrong? A conductor yelling “Hey!” and the realization that he needs to explain to the potential viewer (he uploaded the video, after all) “Wow, that guy kicked me in the head! I think I got that on film.”

    You did get that on film, and the conductor certainly kicked you in the head. Welcome to the new age, the new age, welcome to the new age, the new age.

    A young brooding Michael awaits his destiny for instant internet fame.

    A flirtatious foot via dirty conductor caresses the gentle smooth cheek of pure child innocence.

    Michael’s face is warped, yet, it appears he hasn’t registered being kicked in the face.

    Showing his true form, Michael turns into Beavis.

    The Bieber hair cut dances as the body collapses.

    Almost as if it’s self aware, Michael’s hair branches out in an attempt to attack the conductor, but fails.

    Michael is down for the count, what shame this could bring if anyone knew.

    Michael ponders the cruelty of the world… only to go home later and upload the footage.

    Multiple YouTube users have offered their perspective on the whole deal.

    User John Doe suggested in order to purge the “selfie generation”, we need another world war:

    SupaFlyFatGuy859, with a ton of validating virtual thumbs up (26, to be exact), suggested an award for the young man:

    The conductor’s kick, according to tvwears, saved the boy’s life:

    It almost seems like a movie or gimmicky viral marketing because you think, by itself, “How can people really be this stupid?” only to be disappointed when God whispers into your ear at night, saying: “Youth.”

    I think he’s a good kid.

    Images via YouTube

  • Dumb Starbucks: Entrepreneuring Spoof

    Dumb Starbucks: Entrepreneuring Spoof

    “I’d like a dumb venti mocha latte. And throw in one of those ‘Dumb Jazz Standards’ CDs. And some dumb mints, for my dumb coffee breath. ”

    So go the orders at a new coffee shop in Los Feliz, Calif.: Dumb Starbucks. The store opened Friday to great excitement, including a dumb line that took customers over an hour get through before the dumb store ran out of dumb supplies and had to close up.

    Here’s what you need to know: The store looks exactly like any other Starbucks you’ve ever seen, only all of the branding, including the corporate logo, has been modified to include the word “dumb” at the beginning (menu items such as “Dumb Iced Coffee,” etc.). Where did it come from? Why is it here? So far, nobody knows, but speculation as to whether it’s an artistic statement or a marketing ploy has run rampant.

    “I hope it’s an art thing vs. a business thing,” Jeffrey Eyster, 43, said, adding that he’d like to see “dumb” versions of similar chains like McDonald’s and Cheesecake Factory. Eyester, who had been waiting in line over an hour and still hadn’t made it near the front door was loathed to add, “They’re definitely not serving at Starbucks pace.”

    Inside, two baristas were doing their best to tend to curious customers, but inquiries went largely unanswered. Instead, they referred questions to an FAQ pamphlet that claimed that the store was a fully functioning business but had to pretend to be an artistic statement so as to use Starbucks’ trademarks legally under the fair use doctrine.

    It’s a legally dubious position, to be sure, and Starbucks’ attorneys are on the case. Megan Adams, a spokesperson for the company, said that they were aware of the situation and were “looking into it.”

    There’s certainly one thing that’s not dumb about the store: the prices. On opening day, all the coffee was free.

    Image via YouTube

  • Pink Fan Arrested for ‘Bomb’ Tweet Before Concert, Turns Out to Be Song Reference

    Be careful what you tweet – you know, that 140-character limit oftentimes forces you to get creative. Just make sure that you double check your tweets to make sure they couldn’t be construed to mean something that you didn’t intend.

    Basically, try to avoid tweeting the words “bomb” and “blow up” right before you’re set to attend a giant concert. That oughta help you out.

    One Australian teen learned this the hard way, as he was arrested and booted from a Pink concert after authorities were alerted to a suspicious tweet he had made prior to the show.

    Here’s that tweet, which has since been deleted:

    (image)

    “‘They just came up to me and showed a photo and said ‘is this you?’. I said yeah, because it was my face, and suddenly they just turned me around and grabbed my hands and forced me out the back,” the boy told the Sydney Morning Herald.

    But apparently, it was all just one big misunderstanding. You see, the tweet was really just a reference to the Pink song “Timebomb.”

    “It was meant to be about drop the effects, the music, everything – just drop it all,” said the kid.

    He says he just shortened the “Timebomb” reference to “bomb.”

    Over aggressive action from the local authorities? Maybe. Then again, the kid did say that he had a bomb ready and that he was going to blow up Rod Laver Arena.

    Should’ve seen that one coming, my friend. Let’s spread the blame around. In the future, refrain from tweeting about blowing up concert venues. Also, police should just listen to more Pink. Those two actions should prevent this from happening again.