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  • Chuck Norris Son Says Elites Could Kill Off Americans Within a Year

    Chuck Norris just turned 75. The martial arts film veteran has been very forthright about his own thoughts on where America is headed.

    In his 2010 book Black Belt Patriotism, Chuck Norris listed his gripes.

    “Illegal immigrants are swarming over our borders. Our nation and American families are crippled by debt. We remain vulnerable to Islamist terrorist attacks. Judges ignore the Constitution and instead legislate from the bench. Faith and traditional values are under incessant assault from the media, leftist lawyers, and the liberal establishment.”

    Now Chuck Norris’ son Mike Norris is taking up the call. He has already produced the faith-based movie Mission Air in 2014. Now he is working on AmeriGeddon.

    “The movie we are working on now is not a faith based movie it’s more of a political thriller,” Norris said. “But the undertones of it are why America is the way America is turning. If you were to peel back the layers of the onion of this movie it is why we are dying as a nation.”

    Wo who does Mike Norris think is to blame for the ills of America. In some ways, the same people that Chuck Norris said were.

    “It’s really about the elite in this world. The people that rule the banks, they rule the financial system, they rule everything. If they were to say stop, and all of sudden our dollar is worthless, all of a sudden the power goes off, all of a sudden our government shut down.”

    Norris takes this all very seriously. He believes that a small group of elites could kill most of the people in America within a year if they chose to.

    “The elites in the world, the people that run the monetary systems,” Norris explained, “If the banks collapse, there is no money. It’s a fact that if this was to happen, in 12 months 90% of the U.S. population would die. In 12 months, that is a fact. So it’s very much a political, action movie.”

  • Chuck Norris Is 75, And Twitter’s Got Jokes

    Chuck Norris jokes (or as they’re known on the internet, “Chuck Norris ‘facts’”) are nothing new. However, when Chuck Norris turned 75 on March 10, the internet, especially Twitter, became flooded with these jokes. These “facts” are meant to show how Chuck Norris is the ultimate specimen, crafting tall tales about his prowess about everything. One Twitter user named Nick Caruso tweeted, “Chuck Norris doesn’t blow out birthday candles, they surrender their flames willingly”.

    Even CNN got in on the action. On their tribute to Chuck Norris on their website, they wrote, “Chuck Norris is celebrating his 75th birthday — but the calendar is only allowed to turn 39.” It was an apt tribute to someone larger than life like Chuck Norris. It should be noted that Norris himself is in on it. He published the book “The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book” which features 101 of his favorite versions of the joke.

    At this point, the Chuck Norris joke is as mainstream as “your mama” jokes, and for good reason. Chuck Norris is definitely tough as nails. And his achievements are nothing to sneer at. He even fought Bruce Lee!

    Unlike most action stars, Chuck Norris is a decorated martial artist. He was a six-time undefeated World Professional Middle Weight Karate Champion and he was the first man from the western hemisphere to be awarded an eighth degree Black Belt Grand Master ranking in Tae Kwan Do.

    However, despite all of his achievements, he became a polarizing figure because of his political and religious views. He is a true blue conservative and a supporter of the National Rifle Association. He has also been criticized for his view regarding same-sex marriage. According to him, “Is encouraging or teaching about homosexuality what our forefathers expected for the public education they founded? Even the most liberal among them opposed it.”

    Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that Chuck Norris is a part of popular culture. And even after he’s gone, these Chuck Norris “facts” will live on.

  • Chuck Norris Actor Double Tied Up and Robbed in Brazil

    In São Paulo, Brazil there lives a man named Norberto Tavares de Lira. He goes by the nickname “Chuck Norbas”. He has this nickname because he is the spitting image of American martial arts star Chuck Norris.

    Norberto was cleaning the wheels on his vehicle when four men approached him and forced him inside his house. They tied his hands and feet with phone cord, then went upstairs. There they found his wife. They spotted some of Norberto’s paraphernalia for Chuck Norris.

    “They asked if a police officer lived in the house,” Norberto said, “and my wife explained I was Chuck Norris’s double in Brazil. They calmed down a bit after that. Robbing Chuck’s house was a brave thing to do.”

    Norberto was more concerned for his wife’s well-being than his belongings.

    “I talked to the men and told them to take what they wanted but to be careful with my wife who was upstairs because she had a knee problem,” he recounted. “It seemed to do the trick because they obeyed.”

    The men made off with jewelry, watches, cash, and television sets.

    Norberto is actually a working actor who plays Chuck Norris in a Brazilian television series called Coisas que Porto Alegre Fala, which roughly translates to “Things Porto Alegre Speaks” or “Shit People in Porto Alegre Say”, a popular theme for YouTube videos.

    “Chuck Norbas” is a regular on the program, where his camo shirt, fingerless gloves, shades, and beard made for a convincing Chuck Norris.

    Norberto has a Facebook page where you can follow his exploits, if you speak Portuguese.

    Post by Chuck Norbas.

  • Chuck Norris Endorses Greg Abbott For Texas Governor

    Chuck Norris is still best-known for his on-screen roles in TV shows and movies such as Walker, Texas Ranger and Lone Wolf McQuade, but for a few years now the martial artist’s conservative political views have been getting headlines. The most prominent example of this came two years ago when Norris and his wife released an anti-Obama video on YouTube warning of the “1,000 years of darkness” that might result from President Obama’s reelection.

    Now Norris is wading back into politics in the state that helped make him famous.

    On Wednesday Norris publicly stated his support for Texas gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott. Abbott is the current Attorney general of Texas and the Republican nominee for governor. He is currently running against Texas State Senator and Democrat Wendy Davis.

    Norris attended political rallys for Abbott in both San Antonio and Corpus Christi this week. The actor posted a message of support for Abbott and pictures of himself with Abbott supporters to his Facebook page on Wednesday.

    Post by Chuck Norris.

    Post by Chuck Norris.

    Business Insider has also published a fundraising email that Norris sent out to Abbot supporters this week. The email urges supporters to donate to the Abbott campaign “because [Norris] said so.” The email also focuses on Abbott’s support of gun rights and characterizes President Obama as an anti-gun politician. From the email:

    There are some liberals here in Texas who want to impose restrictive gun control in our state, from limiting concealed carry laws to banning gun shows on city property.

    That’s just backwards.

    While Abbott has warmly welcomed Norris’ support, it appears unlikely that he will need it to become governor of Texas. For months now Davis has trailed Abbott by double digits in polls.

  • Chuck Norris Still a Badass at 74

    No one can — or ever will be — able to call Chuck Norris anything but the baddest of badasses!

    Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris turned 74 years old Tuesday and the man is still going strong.

    Norris is best known for his roles in movies like The Delta Force, Mission in Action, Lone Wolf McQuade, Way of the Dragon and The Expendables 2.

    Prior to his catapult into fame, Norris served in the United States Air Force. He is a devout Christian and is politically conservative. He founded his own martial arts school, Chun Kuk Do.

    Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily.

    Never a day goes by without the Twitterverse mentioning the martial arts master and his badass feats. But, on his birthday, the Tweets wishing him well abounded.

    Here are some of the things Norris’ fans had to say about him on his birthday.

    Image via Wikimedia Commons

  • Chuck Norris Turned 74 and is Still Tougher Than You

    The world paid homage today to one of the biggest bad-asses of our time, Chuck Norris. The actor and all-around tough guy turned 74 today, but can still knock you out, blindfolded, and with his hands tied around his back.

    Known for his roles in Lone Wolf McQuade, Delta Force, and Good Guys Wear Black, Norris is most often seen gracing the Internet in a variety of different memes with hilarious sayings. He is also known for being a staunch Republican who backs a number of right-wing causes and candidates.

    Norris began his notoriety as one of the biggest action film stars in Hollywood, and in 1990 became the first martial artist in the Western hemisphere to become an 8th degree black belt grandmaster in Tae Kwon Do. Like I said, he will lay the smack down on you.

    Through a fierce combo of roundhouse kicks and straight-arm punches, Norris found his way into the homes – and hearts – of just about every action movie fan in America. Things got even more real when Norris began incorporating his martial arts mastery with heavy duty weapons in movies like Forced Vengeance and Missing in Action. One of his most recent popular works is his role in Walker, Texas Ranger.

    However, through the web, Norris has become the king of the one-liners. People who don’t even know Chuck Norris, know of Chuck Norris because of these clever and hilarious jokes.

    Watch Chuck Norris read some of them, here:

    And here are a few others:

    “Chuck Norris died twenty years ago. Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.”

    “When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”

    “Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.”

    “Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.”

    “Chuck Norris once made a Happy Meal cry.”

    “Some people wear superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.”

    And last but not least…

    “If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won’t be able to find you.”

    Even Twitter got in on the Norris one-liners today:

    Happy birthday, Mr. Norris. Remember, you’re not happy to be 74, 74 is happy to be you.

    Image via YouTube

  • Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Volvo Ad Gets Spoofed By Chuck Norris [Video]

    Did everyone hear about that amazing ad that Jean-Claude Van Damme did for Volvo, in which he did the splits between two Volvo trucks? Well, the well-known action star has now had his ad re-done not once, but twice.

    First, Channing Tatum got in on the action, spoofing him by getting on top of two food carts, and now the famous Chuck Norris has made his version of the stunt. Chuck Norris spoofed the stunt with two planes, and balancing nearly a dozen men on his head.

    Of course, the Chuck Norris video is totally fake, and it was made by as a holiday greeting from Hungarian animation firm Delov Digital. The video shows Jean-Claude Van Damme’s act being spoofed when Norris is seen standing on the wing tips of two planes, wearing a hat that balances 11 suited men, holding each other in the formation of a Christmas tree.

    To follow along with Jean-Claude Van Damme’s original, the video features the song “Only Time” by Enya, and the opening monologue features lines from the first scene of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet. The ad was used as a Christmas greeting, and it is being called “the epic Christmas split.”

    For those that have yet to see the original video, take a look and then compare it to Chuck Norris’ version.

    Did he completely put Jean-Claude Van Damme to shame with the new version? View them both and decide for yourself.

    Also, for those interested in the Chaning Tatum version that he did on the set of 22 Jump Street, which released its trailer recently, check out this video.

    Image via Youtube

  • Chuck Norris Tops Van Damme with ‘Epic Christmas Split’

    Anyone remember actor Jean-Claude Van Damme’s epic split?  Quite impressive, right? Well, things just got a little more interesting! It appears Chuck Norris has taken it to a whole new level – or at least it looks that way. A new spoof video of Van Damme’s Volvo Truck commercial has become the Internet’s new viral wave.

    NBC News reports that the video features a CGI-generated likeness of 73-year-old famed martial artist and actor, Chuck Norris doing the ‘epic split’ stunt. However, the computed copycat stunt equates to an ‘epic split on steroids’.

    The video, which has been coined ‘The Epic Christmas Split’ was created by Hungarian animation firm, Delov Digital. It features Norris’ likeness and a voice-over from Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

    The video begins the same way as the original Volvo commercial, only with Norris’ face in lieu of Van Damme’s. But, as the camera slowly pulls back to reveal the broader scope, things take a major turn. The camera moves up to reveal cowboy boots on top of the generated image of Norris’ cowboy hat.

    As the booted legs become more visible, it’s clear to see that the legs are those of paratroopers. As the camera continues to move, a team of 11 paratroopers are standing on top of Norris’ head positioned in the shape of a Christmas tree. Their uniforms are illuminated with white LED lights, to give off the image of a lit Christmas tree.  However, the jaw-dropping part is that they’re all in the sky.

    The ‘awe-factor’ comes as the camera continues to draw back. Finally, the full image captures Norris standing between two airplanes. As the planes slowly move in opposite directions, there’s the split. So, there you have it! Not only did Chuck Norris perform the epic split, he did it between two air-crafts in the sky with paratroopers on his head! Top that, Van Damme!

    For those who missed it, Van Damme was featured in one of the latest Volvo Truck commercials. However, the trucks weren’t the main attraction that drew viewers from around the world. It was Van Damme’s impressive reincarnation of his ever-popular, epic split.

    In the video, Van Damme performs the famous split between two moving Volvo Globetrotter trucks going in reverse. The jaw-dropping 60 second video ends with the caption, “It was carried out by professionals in a closed-off area.” Translation: “Do NOT try this at home!”

    The video, which was posted on YouTube by the Volvo Corporation back in November, has since gone viral, garnering more than 60 million views.

    Image via Wikimedia Commons | Chuck Norris

  • Tim Tebow Rally Held by Jacksonville Fans

    At 3:16 PM today, a group of Jacksonville Jaguars fans decided to hold a rally, which was to last for 3 hours and 16 minutes (all allusions to Tebow’s faith, of course), in order to convince the owners of the Jaguars to sign Tim Tebow as their next quarterback. The charge, led by organizer James Stewart and supported by members of http://www.jags-tebow.com/, was held at Jacksonville’s stadium and drew a whopping crowd of 20 people. The attendance of supporters was actually outnumbered by the media, who managed to pull in a crowd of 30. Despite the low attendance, Stewart believes “We’ve accomplished what we had hoped for the first time out.”

    The movement at www.jags-tebow.com asks the ever-important question, “WHY THE HECK NOT?”. The site states that Jacksonville is easily the worst team in the NFL, so why not bring Tim Tebow on as the new quarterback?: “If the Jags got Him….Overnight, The Jaguars would be on the National Stage. The Stadium will be full of Tebow Maniacs & Tebow haters alike. The whole country would tingle with anticipation & all eyes would be on Jacksonville.”

    The fans of Tebow coming to Jacksonville have a point. Right now, Tim Tebow is not even on an NFL roster and he is still getting tons of national and international attention. The LA Kiss, Gene Simmons’s arena football team, has offered Tebow a contract. Recently, Tebow was offered $1 million to play football in Russia. Earlier this year Tebow was the subject of a petition to the White House for President Obama to force Jacksonville to sign the former Florida Gator. Even Chuck Norris has gotten involved in Tebow-mania, asserting earlier this year that Tebow is the “ultimate clutch player” and that Jacksonville should definitely sign him. Why?: “To put it simply, it’s because Tim could help turn that mediocre team into a championship one. Tebow works miracles on the field, and his inclusion would embolden the spirit of the Jaguars’ players and fans.”

    What do you think? Should Tebow become Jacksonville’s new quarterback? Respond in the Comments section below.

    While there seems to be much support for Tebow going to Jacksonville, there is also much opposition. The Bold City Brigade, a nonprofit organization in Jacksonville which seeks to expand and embolden the fan-base, has created a website called “Even If He’s Released”. This website is simply an online petition for those who are against Tim Tebow coming to Jacksonville. Currently, 581,433 people have signed the petition – significantly larger than the 20 people who showed up at the rally earlier today.

    Jacksonville’s owners have voiced their staunch opposition to the acquisition despite all of the support. Their opposition is understandable. Tebow has been released from multiple teams now due to his performances and abilities on the field. No NFL team would argue against Tebow’s positive impact on the fanbase. Even though he is not on an active roster, Tebow jerseys still rank fifth in sales, and he is still currently ranked as the league’s fifth most popular player. However, the goal of an NFL team is to win games, and Tebow simply cannot perform. There are rumors that Tebow’s agents want him to become a motivational speaker, a role which seems to be much more his billing.

    Image via Facebook

  • Chuck Norris Writes Ode to Tim Tebow

    Chuck Norris Writes Ode to Tim Tebow

    Actor and martial arts star Chuck Norris is, in jokes, capable of amazing feats. Counting to infinity, for example. What action movie fans might not know, however, is that Norris is a staunch conservative and a Christian.

    Last fall, Norris and his wife released a video that tacitly endorsed Mitt Romney for U.S. President. In the video, he speaks of the U.S. being at a “tipping point” and quotes President Ronad Reagan, warning of “1,000 years of darkness” if America doesn’t “change direction.”

    Now, Norris has penned an essay about why Tim Tebow is his favorite NFL quarterback. Writing on conservative news website WorldNetDaily, Norris recalls Tebow’s short professional career before stating he has “never seen a more determined and inspiring athlete play the game of football.” From the essay:

    I’ve heard the so-called critics say Tebow has poor technical skills, but the truth is that Tim is a natural-born leader, an amazingly gifted football player, an inspiration to his team and the possessor of intense determination and strategy to bring any team to victory – no matter what the odds. One can improve technique, but leadership is innate. That is why I believe Tebow could be a super star and legend in the NFL.

    Norris’ op-ed comes as Tebow is currently a free agent with no apparent prospects other than offers from arena league football teams. NFL teams such as the Miami Dolphins have not shown intrest in the quarterback, though his fans have even petitioned President Obama to intervene on his behalf.

  • Jimmy Wales Engages In Chuck Norris Humor On Quora

    On Quora, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales reveals a lot of interesting insight into what makes Jimmy Wales tick.

    One time, we learned that psychos keep him from voting in elections. Another time, we found out what he thinks about people who think he has the power to shut down Wikipedia. Recently, we learned that he will probably buy Google Glass.

    Today, we see Wales having some Chuck Norris humor fun.

    Read Quote of Jimmy Wales’ answer to Jimmy Wales: Is Jimmy Wales the Chuck Norris of Quora? on Quora

    You can’t find this stuff on Wikipedia.

  • Chuck Norris Anti-Obama Ad Invokes God, Reagan

    It looks as if Mitt Romney might have another aging movie star on his side. Well, that may not be true, since Chuck Norris‘ new anti-Obama ad doesn’t mention Mitt Romney at all. In fact, it it only name-checks President Obama once, and doesn’t explicitly endorse a candidate. The entire video is more of a wink to conservative Christians, to let them know that Lone Wolf McQuade is on their side.

    The ad features Norris and his wife, Gena O’Kelley standing in what appears to be the couple’s home dojo. With a prominent American flag in the background, the couple speak about the importance of the election and the doom that awaits America if it doesn’t “change direction.”

    “We’re at a tipping point and quite possibly our country as we know it may be lost forever if we dont’ change the course our country is headed,” said Norris. “…we can no longer sit quietly or stand on the sidelines and watch our country go the way of socialism, or something much worse.”

    The couple go on to heavily quote President Ronald Reagan, warning of 1,000 years of darkness and that freedom could be only one generation away from extinction. Of course, this Reagan rhetoric is from the height of the Cold War. Perhaps someone should remind Norris that he is not actually James Braddock and that the Cold War ended two decades ago.

    If there is one bright spot for Romney in this news, its that this ad is likely to hit its mark. Since Norris has weighed in on political issues as a conservative Christian before, his message is likely to go ignored by all but its target audience. Also, while Clint Eastwood’s speech at the Republican National Convention was ripe for parody, Norris’ ad is fairly straightforward, if a bit inflammatory.

  • Chuck Norris Gets Rave Reviews For “Expendables 2”

    Chuck Norris has been more of a well-intentioned punchline than anything else in recent years; after he became a popular internet meme, it was all downhill from there. But he’s chosen perhaps the best vehicle for a return to the big screen–a big-budget, explosive-heavy action film featuring pretty much every action star on the face of the planet–and he’s being applauded for it.

    Norris, like most of his co-stars, understands his place in Americana. These men have been around since the late ’70s/early ’80s and have almost become caricatures of themselves: hugely muscled, vaguely unintelligible heroes with big hearts and more training than book-smarts. It’s a character they’ve all played time and time again, yet we never get sick of it, perhaps because they give us exactly what we want each time with no frills. They are what they are, and that’s just fine.

    Although Norris hasn’t been in the spotlight in recent years as often as his onscreen cohorts, he is being welcomed back with open arms by those who have seen the film as the one man in the group who can pull off poking fun at himself without seeming cheesy. He’s in on the joke, just like everyone else, but he manages to find the comedy in it a tad better than, say, Schwarzenegger, who’s done that “I’ll be back” bit a few too many times.

    Until Mr. Norris shows up, the script’s efforts at sly comedy don’t work all that well, relying on obvious inside jokes and references to the various stars’ previous work. Mr. Norris’s character, Booker (also the name of his character in the 1978 film “Good Guys Wear Black”), works those same angles but is somehow much funnier, writes one reviewer.

    This could be the beginning of a big comeback for Norris, although that might dampen all those memes surrounding him; the legend has become almost bigger than the actor.

  • Hostess, Maker Of Beloved Twinkies, Going Bankrupt: Twitter Reactions

    Science – or urban mythology – has constantly told us that Twinkies last forever. They’re man’s best friend in the event of a toxic nuclear fallout because such mortal concerns as expiration dates do not concern Twinkies. Twinkies take the space-time continuum and make rudimentary origami bananas out of it. They’re the Chuck Norris of food. But, Twinkies appear to have met one foe over whom they cannot overcome: bankruptcy.

    Hostess Brands, the maker of Twinkies and other sugar-laden treats near and dear to the American waistline, have announced that they are prepping to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, reports the Wall Street Journal today. So how deeply into the red is Hostess, whose sweet stash also includes Ding Dongs and Ho-Hos? $860 million.

    That’s a big Twinkie.

    Despite the megasweet treats from Hostess having precisely zero redeeming health value, people are saddened nonetheless about the news of the impending absence of Twinkies on their grocery shelves. Many people expressed their lament today on Twitter:

    @hale_razor
    Razor    No more Twinkies? We’ll have to change the metaphor for “thing that lasts beyond the apocalypse” to “tenured professor.” 22 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    @TheWaltWhitman
    Walt Whitman    Hostess is bankrupt. Let’s all band together and buy it before the Chinese start making our twinkies. 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    @StefanoSpeaks
    Jennifer Stefano    So they could make a food product that was indestructible but not a company. Bye-Bye twinkies, hello waistline! http://t.co/ffymsJUR 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    @texaszman
    texaszman    You know the Economy is Rough when Hostess Twinkies Goes Bankrupt…. http://t.co/CWG9wtaF 18 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    @GasheadAu
    Tim Smith    So, Twinkies can survive a nuclear attack… but not an economic recession then. 19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @CBSNews
    CBS News    Sugar crash? Twinkies maker reportedly facing cash crunch http://t.co/KN5vAjXj 50 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    @magicspoon
    Dustin Davis    I know. All light is going out of the world. RT @Jessica_Chobot Hostess is going out of business!? 3 minutes ago via Twitterrific · powered by @socialditto

    @doctor_jeff
    Doctor Jeff    Bemoaning the demise of Hostess is like being sad about losing that company that made your cigarettes as a kid. Same healthy impact! 51 minutes ago via TweetCaster for Android · powered by @socialditto

    @etherbrian
    etherbrian    If we are what we eat, by scarfing down a Hostess Twinkie which you had intended to purchase, I cause us to be cosmically linked. 16 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    @FatboyRoberts
    Fatboy Roberts    Hostess is going out of business? Woody Harrelson is gonna be PISSED. I’d give that dude a wide berth. Maybe send flowers or somethin. 16 minutes ago via Seesmic · powered by @socialditto

    @CHAPSGENSTORE
    Larry Chapman    #Hostess cupcakes is filing for bankruptcy! How can a #cupcake make go belly up in middle of #obesity epidemic? A world without #Twinkies! 9 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @This_I_Defend
    MikeR    Breaking: Hussein 0bama blames Bush for Hostess bankrupcy. NO Twinkies for You. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    @lczdad
    Larry    Twinkies last longer than company baking them. http://t.co/6nfuMdnt 17 minutes ago via Safari on iOS · powered by @socialditto

    @MattPhifer
    Matthew Phifer    Just heard the end of #Twinkies may be near. @Hostess_Snacks is filing for #bankruptcy. Say it ain’t so! 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    @Hostess_Snacks
    Hostess Snacks    @mattphifer Don’t worry, Twinkies never say die. 1 hour ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto