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  • Lizzie Borden Case Still Fascinates And Frightens

    Lizzie Borden may be among the most notorious and well-known suspected criminals who literally got away with murder; however, the case is still classified as unsolved. Tragically, Lizzie Borden’s claim to fame is that she may be forever immortalized for her suspected involvement in the murder of her father and her stepmother as depicted in the following verses:

    Lizzie Borden took an axe,
    And gave her mother forty whacks.
    And when she saw what she had done,
    She gave her father forty-one.

    In truth, Lizzie killed her stepmother, Abby Borden, with 18 strikes instead of the “40 whacks” mentioned in the previous verse. Lizzie’s wealthy banker father, Andrew Borden, was also subjected to extreme brutality though the popular phrase of “41 whacks” was in actuality no more than 11 forceful attacks. Andrew had a reputation for being stingy where many within the community of Fall River, Massachusetts, had contempt for the successful self-made bank president.

    Lizzie Borden was noted for showing unusual behavior during the days surrounding the trial. Her infamous and dramatic swoon in the courtroom upon hearing revelations of the crime scene is still considered when discussing courtroom theatrics. Some of these revelations included gruesome details such as Andrew’s eyeball being sliced in half. The fate of Lizzie Borden was decided by a jury consisting of 12 men where the deliberations lasted for 90 minutes before the announcement of Lizzie Borden’s innocence was delivered to the courtroom.

    According to the closing arguments made by George D. Robinson, who was part of the defense team representing Lizzie Borden, “… one of the most dastardly and diabolical crimes that was ever committed in Massachusetts… Who could have done such an act? In the quiet of the home, in the broad daylight of an August day, on the street of a popular city, with houses within a stone’s throw, nay, almost touching, who could have done it? Inspection of the victims discloses that Mrs. Borden had been slain by the use of some sharp and terrible instrument, inflicting upon her head eighteen blows, thirteen of them crushing through the skull; and below stairs, lying upon the sofa, was Mr. Borden’s dead and mutilated body, with eleven strokes upon the head, four of them crushing the skull.”

    Image Via Wikimedia Commons

  • AXE Body Spray Gets School Shutdown, 8 Hospitalized

    Bro, sometimes you just gotta spray solvent aerosol deodorants under your pits to get you smelling fresh for the ladies, you know what I mean? Slicking back the hair, sporting the sunglasses, and swag can only do so much for a pre-pubescent boy to evolve into a man. Everybody knows the cool rule of school says that the more you drench yourself with a full can of Axe body spray, the more likely you’ll become alpha; it’s all about presence, even if it causes a school-wide shut down, you know that the ends justify the means.

    According to The Smoking Gun, last Wednesday at Medgar Evers College Preparatory School in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, eight students were hospitalized and two others were taken to their own family doctors after a young student released copious amounts of AXE body spray in a sixth grade classroom at 1 PM. The Department of Education released a statement confirming that the school was temporarily closed on Wednesday. Emergency crews scrambled to the school to investigate the “hazardous” smell.

    The statement from the education departments notes that “disciplinary action is pending” for the hip and happening well smelled student.

    Sadly, this is not the first time that Axe body spray has caused problems in schools around America. A Pennsylvania high school had to downright ban the spray earlier this March after a student was hospitalized after being exposed to its fumes. Back in 2012, Connecticut high school officials said that a fire alarm went off after a student used an “overabundance” of the spray in a locker room.

    Users on Reddit shared their own thoughts and personal horror stories:

    (image) (image)

    Axe kind of markets itself as the ultimate scent of seduction, with women going absolutely bonkers for men who “spray more and get more”. The following video accurately portrays exactly what will happen the more that you spray Axe body spray onto your body:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9tWZB7OUSU
    (image)

    You’ve just witnessed the “Axe Effect”, bro, get used to it. It’s known to trigger “increased attention” from “eager, and attractive female pursuers.”

    But bro, despite the official story, they’re probably just haters.

    (Images via AXE’s Facebook Page, YouTube, Reddit)

  • Kiefer Sutherland Regrets Not Going After The Girl In New Axe Ad

    When you think of advertisements for Axe products, your mind probably recalls images of oversexed girls flocking to guys and mouthing sexual innuendos – basically the hyperbolic male fantasy played out in real life.

    But a new spot from the company has a different tone. Gone is the “use our product and you’ll be eyes-deep in tail” message, having now been replaced with a motivational plea to young men out there to be bold and have no fear – or you’ll regret it.

    In the kick off to their “Fear No Susan Glenn” campaign, Axe has employed Kiefer Sutherland and his made-for-voiceover pipes to recall a time when he did in fact fear Susan Glenn, the girl he never approached because he didn’t think he had a chance.

    It’s a much different Axe commercial than what you’ve seen in the past, plus the whole Jack Bauer presence makes it really stand out.

    Check it out below:

    We think that it’s an incredibly well done advert – what say you?

    [h/t Mashable]