Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Thanks Groupon, for reminding me that even at a deeply discounted rate, I cannot afford a 7 day getaway to Fiji. And also, I have no friends
We are born with nothing and we die with nothing but our student loans.
Concerned that hanging my daughter’s artwork all over the house is sending the wrong message. Specifically that I think it’s not terrible.
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively got married just to make sex between everyone else look bad.
If I had a dollar for every time my dad questioned my sexuality I could afford a bad ass Harley and probably some super cute riding boots
Waiting for Pat Robertson to tell us why all the GoDaddy hosted sites are crashing.
ESPN to air Bengals-Ravens/Chargers-Raiders games on delay due to a projected 82% probability of someone getting brutally murdered.
If you watch Pretty Woman backwards, Richard Gere stops kissing his wife on the mouth so she returns all her clothes & becomes a prostitute.
My God, a GoDaddy outage and the Internet machine won’t start. Am I supposed to go and watch real kittens now?
Facebook is like a refrigerator. You get bored and keep checking but nothing ever changes.
Oh for goodness sakes Ryan Reynolds you do not need to marry all of them.