Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Think of all the witches Rick Santorum would’ve burned had he been alive in the 1600s.
E-mailed PR pitches I didn’t finish reading: “Happy Hump Day!”
“There is no gawd.” -teen athiest
If Rick Santorum becomes our nominee – it will be the first really significant evidence I’ve seen that the Mayans might be right about 2012.
I hope someone else’s life flashes before my eyes when I die, because otherwise BOR-RING.
Another Robin died today. Apparently it’s hard to hear Joker sneaking up behind you when your earbuds are blasting Kelly Clarkson.
It is acceptable to refer to all court proceedings as a “trial,” because seriously, you ever sat through one of those things?
Google Maps satellite view is great because you can pretend that you’re flying while you stalk people.
My child prefers Dreamworks to Pixar.
I can’t watch ‘Luck’ or ‘Game of Thrones’ because my dog barks at any horse that appears on screen.
“You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” -guy very confused about what cake is
If you see the word “Catholic” in a headline, you know it’s bad news.
Louis Vuitton condoms. Now people can enjoy their partners blowing it all on Louis Vuitton.