Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, we have a pretty random selection of Tweets. You can forgive me for not being too topical on a Friday, right? We do hit the Labor Day Topic as we as Obama’s upcoming Jobs speech. Look for a particularly good one about disciplining a teenager. Enjoy!
At my funeral, instead of a eulogy, I want everyone to watch 30 minutes looped footage of Laura Dern’s panicked running, from Jurassic Park.
Casual Friday + Last Workday Before Labor Day = White Bed Sheet Toga. Can’t help it if my coworkers don’t understand basic math.
8 out of 10 Americans think we are in a recession. The other two are A-Rod and Oprah.
You know what Obama should do for his jobs speech? Hire a million people to help him write it.
If you want to punish a teenager, simply take away their cellphone! And sodomize them with it.
Hey dudes it’s been 5 days. You gotta let people talk about Breaking Bad.
New York City — turning optimistic liberals into seething, closet racists since 1961!
Has mankind ever fallen further short of his potential than “second verse same as the first?”
Washington is the only place where things grind to a halt when people get back from vacation.
“That’s so Raven” – Raven Symone’s parents identify her body.