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Limp Bizkit, Daytona, and Chris Brown’s iPhone Problems

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Limp Bizkit, Daytona, and Chris Brown’s iPhone Problems
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Congrats to Limp Bizkit for signing to Cash Money records! To celebrate i also put a bag of trash into a slightly bigger dumpster.(image) 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I’m starting to think Chris Brown might not be a great guy.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    With the recent acquisition of Limp Bizkit, Busta Rhymes, and rumors of tracks with Ashanti, YMCM is poised to be the hottest label of 1999.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Chris Brown has been accused of stealing a woman’s cellphone outside a club. Looking forward to their duet in two years.(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    If #Obama cured cancer the Republicans wld say he’s trying to mandate what kind of cells we can have in our body(image) 20 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Chris Brown steals a fan’s iPhone. Siri must have been terrified.(image) 8 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Danica Patrick crashed during a Daytona qualifier today, successfully qualifying herself as a woman.(image) 22 hours ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Looks like Chris Brown finally crossed the line with this cell phone theft.(image) 18 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Here at Daytona. Danica Patrick will sit on the pole for tomorrow’s Nationwide race.(image) 11 minutes ago via Seesmic ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    My laziness just reached a new level when I was too tired to download an app.(image) 56 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    White guys who take shirtless pics of themselves in their bathroom mirror will most likely die in an alcohol-related wakeboard accident.(image) 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    If I’ve given you a card at your birthday party, know I bought it a half-hour ago and signed it on the dashboard of my car 5 minutes ago.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Meryl Streep could take a dump and it’d get nominated for an Oscar.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Thought I saw an overrated pop star in the distance. Turns out it was just a Nicki Mirage.(image) 5 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    [Image via reddit]

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