Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Congrats to Limp Bizkit for signing to Cash Money records! To celebrate i also put a bag of trash into a slightly bigger dumpster.
I’m starting to think Chris Brown might not be a great guy.
With the recent acquisition of Limp Bizkit, Busta Rhymes, and rumors of tracks with Ashanti, YMCM is poised to be the hottest label of 1999.
Chris Brown has been accused of stealing a woman’s cellphone outside a club. Looking forward to their duet in two years.
#Obama cured cancer the Republicans wld say he’s trying to mandate what kind of cells we can have in our bodyIf
Chris Brown steals a fan’s iPhone. Siri must have been terrified.
Danica Patrick crashed during a Daytona qualifier today, successfully qualifying herself as a woman.
Looks like Chris Brown finally crossed the line with this cell phone theft.
Here at Daytona. Danica Patrick will sit on the pole for tomorrow’s Nationwide race.
My laziness just reached a new level when I was too tired to download an app.
White guys who take shirtless pics of themselves in their bathroom mirror will most likely die in an alcohol-related wakeboard accident.
If I’ve given you a card at your birthday party, know I bought it a half-hour ago and signed it on the dashboard of my car 5 minutes ago.
Meryl Streep could take a dump and it’d get nominated for an Oscar.
Thought I saw an overrated pop star in the distance. Turns out it was just a Nicki Mirage.
[Image via reddit]