Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
If I dated Taylor Swift, I’d break up with her just so I could have a song about me that isn’t the Imperial March.
In less than 29 hours, I’ll be right here, live-Tweeting the VP Debate. Guess I should finish these 12 bottles of absinthe.
If you watch Forrest Gump backwards, a mentally handicapped man moonwalks across America so he can fly to Vietnam & find his friend’s legs.
Obama campaign preparing for VP debate by seeing if they can get Bill Clinton to wear a Joe Biden mask.
You don’t sound very confident, Maybelline.
So disgusted that Stacey Dash is voting for Romney that I’m only masturbating to Clueless with half of my normal enthusiasm.
The waitress keeps asking if everything is okay, and it is. #FirstWorldProblems
Mitt Romney is staunchly pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-pro-anti-…
Whenever there is injustice in the world, Americans will rise up and retweet a hashtag.
If it weren’t for boobs, I would have read all the great books and learned the piano by now.
At what age would it be appropriate to explain to my daughter that Bugs Bunny was a transvestite?