@GrandadJFreeman
GrandadjFreemanWhen Fat chicks wear UGGS, they look like socks. 3 hours ago via UberSocial for BlackBerry · powered by @socialditto

@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy wireless mouse ran out of battery power and now I have to use my wired one. #FirstWorldProblems 3 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

@JPHaddadio
J.Paul HaddThat’s the last time I buy underwear at a yard sale. I don’t want to talk about it. 16 hours ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto

@DannyZuker
Danny ZukerIf I were in a jam I’d probably seek out Glasses Bieber over Sideways Baseball Cap Bieber cause Glasses Bieber just seems smarter. 1 day ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@mikeleffingwell
Mike LeffingwellMy wife sold her long, beautiful hair to buy a chain for my watch. I hope she likes the Chili’s gift certificate I got her. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@juliussharpe
Julius SharpeHey “Deep Throat,” you could have called yourself anything else, you perv. 6 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

@SethMacFarlane
Seth MacFarlaneI think a great Kevin James movie would be about an antebellum-era crook who hides out by disguising himself as a woman: “Bill of the Ball”. 22 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

@DougBenson
Doug BensonLadies love it when a man smells like Tinactin, right? #NotAnAd 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@denisleary
Denis LearyAlaska woman punches bear to save dog. Even if the bear was Mike Ditka, I wouldn’t do it unless the dog shat gold ingots. 6 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

@ChrisMcomedy
Chris MartinThings I’ve learnt today: An Eddie Murphy life-size cutout is constantly terrifying if he’s strategically hidden in a house 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto